03/05/2025
The worldās population has reportedly just reached nine billion DJs following the birth of six hundred thousand DJās last week.
According to reports, all of the major DJing brands are struggling to make enough equipment for all of the worldās DJs and fear a major drought could be imminent.
āPioneer, Denon, Native Instruments, Technics, theyāre all at full capacity and struggling to keep up with their orders,ā explained DJ Barry Holmes. āIf the rate of DJs on the planet keeps growing at this rate thereāll almost certainly be an equipment drought, even as it is parents arenāt sure where theyāll get their childrenās equipment from already.ā
āApparently, there are kids out there who have to walk for three or four hours a day just to have a shot of some CDJs and I know of at least one village in the UK that only has one controller between everyone, to make it worse, itās only got two channels and a couple of the potās are missing. Can you imagine what things are going to be like in fifteen or twenty years time when there are even more DJs? It just doesnāt bare thinking about.ā
āSometimes I feel like I donāt even want to be a DJ anymore,ā continued Holmes. āI mean, whatās the point when everyone else is a DJ too? It just seems a bit pointless when you canāt even consider yourself better than other people because, as DJs, weāre all totally awesome. Sometimes I think about quitting it all but thatās not an option, itās not something you can just stop, youāre born into it.ā
Records suggest that there is currently only one man on the entire planet who isnāt classified as a DJ, his name is Steve Aoki.
