The Malawi Satirical News & Political Parodies

The Malawi Satirical News & Political Parodies Satirical approach to Malawi celebrity news and Politics: The real science of stupid is here Fun

President Professor Arthur Peter Mutharika has delegated Vice President, Justice Dr. Jane Ansah to lead the Malawi Deleg...
21/11/2025

President Professor Arthur Peter Mutharika has delegated Vice President, Justice Dr. Jane Ansah to lead the Malawi Delegation to the 7th African Union - European Union Summit and Extraordinary African Union Summit to be held in Luanda, Angola, from 24th to 25th November, and 26th November, respectively.

Information shared by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has confirmed of the development.

It has been indicated that while advancing Malawi's multilateral diplomacy, the Vice President will also actively engage cooperating countries on Malawi's current strategic approach to address the Food, Fuel, Fertilizer, Forex and Pharmaceutical challenges facing the nation.

Justice Dr. Jane Ansah will depart Kamuzu International Airport on Saturday, 22nd November, 2025 and return on Friday, 28th November, 2025 through the same airport.

Every woman's weaknessmanyong'omeza
17/11/2025

Every woman's weakness
manyong'omeza

07/11/2025

If you’re a lady and want to raise K500,000 from men, here’s a simple way to do it

1️⃣ Draft a WhatsApp message that says:

“Hi, I hope zik*theka. May you please share me K20,000? I just want to buy relish.”

2️⃣ Send that message to every man on your contact list who’s capable of sending money.

3️⃣ K20,000 isn’t an alarming amount — most men will send it without asking questions.

4️⃣ But here’s where it gets better: some men will think, “Eish, this one is only asking for 20 pin, let me bless her with 50k… or even 100k.” A few heavyweights will even drop K200k.

5️⃣ By the end of the day, you’ll have your K500,000 — maybe more.

Kumangochangamuka pa town 😎. I can’t be teaching you everything!

CHRIS LOKA writes.....Mukazapita ku UK, Canada,USA, Israel, German, komanso ku South Africa ndipamene muzazindikire k*t...
06/11/2025

CHRIS LOKA writes.....

Mukazapita ku UK, Canada,USA, Israel, German, komanso ku South Africa ndipamene muzazindikire k*ti abale anthu omwe ali kunja amatithandiza chifukwa cha Chikondi komanso Sacrifice osati k*ti moyo wawo uli pabwino kapena ali nazo zochuluka👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻.

Kunjaku anthu ena ali ndi ma stress, they are depressed and kugwira ntchito akudwala because of us🫢.

Abale anthu ak*tukwanidwa daily, kusala tulo k*thamangitsa Dollar (ma shift) , kuzemba mbava, kulandidwa ma phone (Maka ku Joni) , ali ndi ziphyera zoti akaziona okha kumalira koma sangabwere kumudzi kuno akaganizira maudindo awo. Koma chikumbumtima cha kumudzi kuno amakhala nacho ndithu, they miss home, they miss their Children, they miss their husbands and Wives and they miss their Families😭

Mukazayenda ndikukhalako maiko akunjawa, Ka Mtendere ka muumphawika ka ku Malawi ka muzasiya kukaphweketsa🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

Mabanja awa, ali gwede gwede chifukwa amunawa ndimatelala. Chizonono chavutachi asaaa.
05/11/2025

Mabanja awa, ali gwede gwede chifukwa amunawa ndimatelala. Chizonono chavutachi asaaa.

anga akudwala thenda yachilendoHello Admin Ife kuno mmmmm sizlii bwino thats why ndalowa ku inbox kwanu kufuna gulu ...
05/11/2025

anga akudwala thenda yachilendo
Hello Admin

Ife kuno mmmmm sizlii bwino thats why ndalowa ku inbox kwanu kufuna gulu lanu lindithandize kupeza nsing'anga wamphamvu woti asuluse zomwe Amuna anga alozedwa

Ndine mzimayi wa ana anayi kuno ku Blantyre ,koma tauni yomwe timakhala sinditchula pamenepo mundikhululukira

Amuna anga ndi mmodzi mwa madobadoba Amulimbe, nde sabata yatha ak*ti kunabwera Bambo wina owoneka wachimidzi nde anamufusa k*ti Bambo mukufuna chani??? Bambo aja anayankha k*ti ndikufuna FRIDGE UPRIGHT

Iwo aja anamuuza k*ti ndipaseni 150 pin ineyo fridge ndikugulisani pa 200 pin, inayo 50 yo muzandipasa fridge ndikabweresa, pamtengo wotsika wotchipa ndithu ,

Bambo uja sanavute koma k*tenga 150 pin kuwapasa Amuna anga, nkuwauza k*ti mukhale apa muzindidikira ndikulowa mushop yatha iyooooo ndikupezani ndi katundu wanu wanyuwani wampaketi

Amuna anga anangolowa mushop k*tulukiraa kuseti wautaliiiiii nde kuyambira Lamulungu lathaii kufiika kero zinthu sizili bwino Amuna anga alozedwa mmimba mukungocheka moti 4bdays now osadya komaso akumava kudzidzila kwambiri ngat aikidwa fridge olo kukhala padzuwa sizikuphula kathu.

Pempho ndiloti ngati pa page pano Pali wodziwa zisamba k*ti angawatembenuze kapena ngati munamverapo munthu akudandaula za ndalama imeneyi muuzeni alike iweyo timubwenzera Times 3 ndalama yakeyo bola Amuna anga achire nanga ine ana ndipanga nawo bwanji abale.

aSing'anga tchito ndiimenei

Make Fatima, ndikudziwa k*t pano sungandikonde unapeza mamuna wina kale 😭 koma ndimati ndikulimbikise aise iweyo ndi mu...
05/11/2025

Make Fatima, ndikudziwa k*t pano sungandikonde unapeza mamuna wina kale 😭 koma ndimati ndikulimbikise aise iweyo ndi munthu wabwino kwambili chisilu ndinali ineyo pokusiya. panopa ndikumakufuna kowopsa ndachisowa chikondi chako usilu wanga wandipangisa kukhala kapolo wachikondi ndikunena pano hule limandikomedwesa lija langondidyela ndalama zanga kundithawa kupita kwamuna ena dzikomo kwambili pa zabwino umandichitila pano ubwino wako ndawudziwano ndipo ndausowa. Ambuye akupase moyo wautali komaso pitiliza kwakonda amuna ako aponowo ndiwed makina ndinaluza ine ndikukulila pano 😭😭😭

Tsikana walira mokweza kunseliku😭😭MNYAMATA WAPA FB WANDIKWATA MONDIBELAHello Admin,ndine follower wanu post for me musan...
05/11/2025

Tsikana walira mokweza kunseliku😭😭
MNYAMATA WAPA FB WANDIKWATA MONDIBELA
Hello Admin,ndine follower wanu post for me musandipange hide andione ndithu.

Ndimakhala ku Blantyre 20 years old girl sine okwatiwa panopa ndingati ndili single.

Nkhani yanga siyapatali ayi koma ndimangofuna ndifuseko mwina mkumva kwa inu.

Munthune ndinakumana ndi mamuna pa fb p***a iye amakhala ku Chilobwe ine Lunzu tose tili Bt.

Takhala tikulumikizana pafupi fupi 7 month kufikila Monday pomwe takumana.

Tinakumana ku Lunzu komkuno anabwela kuzandiwona kwinaso k*ti tiziwane ndipo zinatheka.

Titakumana anali wa msangala ndipo zinali ngati mwina wawona duwa ineso mkuzati ohh yes apadi ndafika.

Kenako anatenga inivopi mkundipasa mkuzati ndi mphaso yanga yomwe wandikonzela.

Kenako ndinamupasa Hagi basi macheza ayambika kenako kiss ngati kumathokoza ndizomwe wachitazo.

Tili mkati mocheza anapempha game (s*x) ndiye ineyo powona inivopiyo ndinati apa kumukaniza mkulakwa.

Ndinamupasa mwayi ndipo zinatheka kotelo anamenya ma Round 4 ya 5 ndinakana k*ti ndatopa mix nthawi inali itatha.

Koma nditafika kunyumba kusegula inivopiyo ndinapezamo muli K800 ya ma k20 komaso ma k50 ndipo anyikamo zosintha k*ti inivopiyo iziwoneka ya ndii pompo ndinamuyimbila ndati ndimulalatile kupeza wandi brocker.

Ndimafuna ndimuwuze ngati angawone post iyi abwele azatenge ndalama yake ndipo wandilakwila bola akanandiwuza k*ti alibe ndalama 😢😭

800 ndingapange nayo chani or mulingati inuyo mungapange nayo chani?
Abwele azatenge ndalama yake ndipo mulungu amudalise.

Koma Anyamata mukupangilanji izi?💔😭😭

Iwe Zeze wandipatsa nyere kwabasi. Ine kukonda amuna a enitu. Ndikufuna ndikanakhala ine. Nkazako adzipsya mtima. Matama...
05/11/2025

Iwe Zeze wandipatsa nyere kwabasi. Ine kukonda amuna a enitu. Ndikufuna ndikanakhala ine. Nkazako adzipsya mtima. Matama amuthere.
Ukadzabwera ku UK udzachindaulere.

BEANS KUNOOOOOZeze ithyoke ithyoke beans mpaka ku chifu cha Vanessa by ija yakumbuyo k*ti thiiii ga ga ga waa waaa waaaa...
04/11/2025

BEANS KUNOOOOO
Zeze ithyoke ithyoke beans mpaka ku chifu cha Vanessa by ija yakumbuyo k*ti thiiii ga ga ga waa waaa waaaaa!
Koma ngati Vane sanatenge phwaa
ndakayika Asaaa nanga Chopolama ndimasewela ngati?
Simaseweratu iwe shiiii!
Ak*ti atathira sanachotse mpaka inatotela konkonso kachikena beans pakuling.

Kadzidzi yemwe anatengeledwa ku polisi ya Nkhotakota m'mawa wa dzulo atapezeka mnyumba ya mkulu wina mmudzi wa Phangwa...
03/11/2025



Kadzidzi yemwe anatengeledwa ku polisi ya Nkhotakota m'mawa wa dzulo atapezeka mnyumba ya mkulu wina mmudzi wa Phangwa watulutsidwa atakhala maola oposa 12 ali wa moyo.

Ena mwa apolisi atsina khutu Times 360 Malawi k*ti Kadzidziyo watulutsidwa usiku wathawu ndipo wagwera ku mtsinje wa Chazi omwe uli pafupi ndi polisi ya m'bomali.

Koma mneneri wa polisi ya Nkhotakota, a Paul Malimwe, wauza Times 360 Malawi k*ti sangayankhulepo pa nkhaniyi pakadalipano.

Ena mwa anthu anayesera kufika ku mtsinje wa Chazi k*ti mwina atha kumuona, koma sizidaphule kanthu.

Malipoti ena ak*ti eni nyumba yomwe mwapezeka mbalameyi ati sakudziwa ndipo nawo ndiodabwa ngakhale amaganizira k*ti mwina munthu wina ndiyemwe wapanga izi.

Kadzidziyo adapezeka mnyumbamo atanyamula uthenga pa kalata ziwiri woti "Undipatse mwamuna wanga" komanso "Iwe Thom nabwera ine tiye tizipita ntchitoyi tikugwilira limodzi tiye tizipita".

Wolemba Innocent Chunga

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