14/08/2021
"It's gotta be the vibe I'm giving off" I said to myself. I had gone into a store to browse and just chalked up the strange energy to a one off experience and went about my day. We as humans construct identities for ourselves that are both time and place specific. When the place, or the culture changes it can be difficult to regain your footing, at least that's been my case. Identity is something we all wear for ourselves but also to assure others that they're okay. And then when who we think we are undergoes a sudden change, like being plucked from one culture and put into another, there's a period of adjustment while a new and workable identity is found.
I have noticed myself quietly looking back on my daily experiences since being back and trying to figure out how others see me. It's been a while since I've really been in the US last and I've changed. In Mexico it was easy. First I'm a foreigner, then a friend, a customer, a tenant or whatever the case may be. It's simple and any quirks are usually chalked up to being foreign, I assume.
A young lady a few days ago here in the US called me sir. Granted I've gained a few gray hairs and lost a few others but the sir caught me off guard. I was rarely if ever called señor in Mexico but it was that same level of respect. Was I behaving more like a kid the last time I lived in the US or has Mexico shaped me to be more respectful?
The best analogy I've been able to come up with about culture shock is that it's like being caught naked. All those parts of myself that I thought I had neatly covered over and tucked away were suddenly out in the open for everyone to see. The "clothes" that I wore in Mexico suddenly weren't in fashion in the United States and I feared that others could see my insecurities. It's a little embarrassing but makes me think about the type of clothes that I wore when I first arrived in Mexico. I was less patient, less relaxed, more subservient. I was and am American but I've changed and adapted and donned the local dress and I'm better now because of it.
So now I'm back in the United States for the next couple of months. My Mexican clothes are nicely tucked away in storage and I'm begrudingly starting to wear my American clothes again. I hope the moths or whatever else don't get to my Mexican clothes too much. But if you're Mexican and living in the United States and a random guy asks if you're from Mexico, humor him for a second and have a chat about home. I know you will. Giving a second or two out of your day to be with another person, whoever that is, is one of the greatest gifts that you can give. And you taught me that.
