04/04/2025
Unity in the Midst of Conflict:
A Call to Church Members Everywhere
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Have you ever felt the sting of tension in your church?
Perhaps it was a disagreement over worship styles—hymns versus contemporary songs—or a heated debate about how tithes should be spent.
Maybe it was a clash of opinions on a social issue or even a misunderstanding that spiraled out of control.
If so, you’re not alone. Conflict within the church is as old as the church itself. From Paul and Barnabas parting ways (Acts 15:36-41) to the early believers wrestling with cultural differences (Acts 15), God’s people have always faced friction. Yet, Scripture reminds us that while conflict is common, how we address it is essential—for the sake of our witness, our unity, and our love for Jesus.
At a recent leadership retreat held March 28-30, 2025, at Laurelville Mennonite Church Center in Mount Pleasant, Pennsylvania, wise pastors and elders tackled this very topic. Their insights, rooted in God’s Word, offer us a roadmap to navigate conflict with grace and purpose.
Today, I invite you to journey with me through their wisdom, woven with Scripture, to see how we—church members everywhere—can turn division into an opportunity for growth and healing.
Conflict: A Shared Human Experience
Let’s start with a truth Pastor Gregory Crayton shared: conflict is inevitable wherever people gather, even in the church. Why? Because we’re different. Some of us cling to traditions, others crave change. Some prioritize doctrine, others emphasize outreach. Romans 14:1-4 reminds us that these differences—over non-essentials—can spark disputes. Paul writes, “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.” The early church faced this head-on, like when they debated food laws at the Council of Jerusalem (Acts 15). Conflict isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a sign we’re human. But left unchecked, it can fracture the body of Christ.
Elder Rex Miller added another layer: conflict often stems from unmet expectations, financial disagreements, or plain ignorance. Maybe you expected your pastor to visit more often, or you wondered why so much of your offering goes beyond your local walls. Perhaps you’ve clashed with an older member over “how things used to be” or misunderstood a leader’s decision. These tensions, while common, can fester if we don’t face them with humility and love.
The Call to Address Conflict
So why is addressing conflict essential? Because Jesus prayed for our unity (John 17:21), and Paul urged us to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). Unity isn’t sameness—it’s harmony amid diversity. When we ignore conflict, we risk bitterness, gossip, and division. But when we confront it biblically, we reflect Christ to a watching world.
Pastor Juan Carlos Mejía taught us that unresolved conflict in ministry—like favoritism or poor leadership choices—can weaken our mission. Imagine a church where family ties trump fairness (Numbers 12) or where leaders stumble because they’re misplaced (Ephesians 4:16). Addressing these issues isn’t optional; it’s vital to keeping Jesus the “main thing,” as Pastor Crayton put it.
Practical Steps to Heal and Unite
Here’s the good news: God equips us to handle conflict well. Drawing from the retreat’s wisdom, let’s explore practical, biblically sound steps you can take—yes, you, the everyday church member—to foster peace and growth in your congregation.
Speak Up with Love
Matthew 18:15-17 is your guide: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.” Don’t let hurt simmer—talk directly to the person involved. Use Pastor Crayton’s simple phrases: “I love you, I forgive you, Supper’s ready?” They’re disarming, humble, and open the door to reconciliation. Next time you’re upset about a decision, skip the whisper campaign and approach your brother or sister with kindness.
Check Your Expectations
Elder Miller’s “90-10 rule” hit home: 90% of conflict comes from deeper emotional wounds, not the surface issue. Ask yourself, “What am I really upset about?” Proverbs 3:5-6 calls us to trust God, not our assumptions. If you’re frustrated the church isn’t meeting your needs, voice your hopes in a workshop or meeting. Clarity reduces tension.
Celebrate Differences
Your church is a tapestry—Jamaican, American, young, old, traditional, modern. Galatians 3:26 says we’re all one in Christ, so host a potluck or testimony night to honor that diversity. When cultural clashes arise (say, over music), focus on shared faith, not personal preferences. Respect keeps division at bay.
Learn and Ask Questions
Ignorance fuels conflict, but knowledge heals it. Join a Bible study to wrestle with doctrine together (Romans 14:1-4). Ask your leaders how the budget works—Malachi 3:10 ties giving to blessing, but understanding the “why” builds trust. If generational gaps spark friction, start a monthly “exchange” where young and old share their hearts.
Support Your Leaders
Hebrews 13:17 urges us to make leadership a joy, not a burden. If your pastor delegates to a small group leader, trust that choice (Exodus 18:13-26). If they preach on unity or tough topics like politics (John 18:36), listen with an open heart. Offer to serve on a committee—say, one reviewing finances—so you’re part of the solution.
Pray and Persevere
Conflict resolution starts on our knees. Jeremiah persevered despite despair (Jeremiah 20:9); so can we. Pray for wisdom, humility, and unity daily. When you’re tempted to give up on a strained relationship, lean on 2 Peter 1:5-8—add love and self-control to your faith.
A Vision Worth Pursuing
Picture this: a church where disagreements lead to dialogue, not division. Where members say, “I don’t agree, but I love you,” and mean it. Where leaders and laity alike model Christ’s humility, turning conflict into a catalyst for growth. That’s the vision Pastor Crayton, Pastor Mejía, and Pastor Miller cast—a vision rooted in Scripture and proven in real churches like the United Church of God (Seventh Day).
So, church members everywhere, let’s embrace this call. Conflict will come, but it doesn’t have to conquer us. With God’s Word as our guide and these practical steps in hand, we can heal wounds, bridge divides, and shine as one body in Christ. Start today—pray, reach out, listen. Because unity in Christ is greater than our differences, and the world needs to see it.
In His love,
Pastor Heber Vega
