22/10/2020
THE NON-RESIDENT PRESIDENTS OF THE AFRICA
Like ghost President, like ghost Policing
By Mac-Kadicou Orji
Time now for non-resident Presidents
Opening: (Sound FX)
BOTH: “This is the Non-Resident Presidents of the Africa”
KIBAKIMAD: “Hello, Olushambles! Olushambles!! Hello, Olu…”
OLUSHAMBLES: “Who is on this line? (Who could be calling my shadow line?)
KIBAKIMAD: “Why is your voice so husky and wishpery? This is Kibakimad, your old time friend”
OLUSHAMBLES: “Ooooh! Kibakimad! Yes, this is Olushambles on the line. I can’t speak better than this. You have to take me as you hear me”
KIBAKIMAD: “Why is your voice so husky and whispery, I ask again? You won’t believe yourself if I tell you where I am calling you from”
OLUSHAMBLES: “And, where could that be, my friend? You may not believe yourself too if I tell you my location”
KIBAKIMAD: “Guess what? I am now a proud peaceful street protester in the streets of Abuja!”
OLUSHAMBLES: “What? Unbelievable! No wonder your voice is so husky and wishpery too. Me, I just finished marching on the streets of Lagos”
KIBAKIMAD: “What? Olushambles! You mean the beautiful, peaceful Lagos streets of Nigeria? Unbelievable, Olushambles! What are you doing…?”
OLUSHAMBLES: “Kibakimad, easy! Your voice may begin to give you away if you shout too much, Kibakimad”
KIBAKIMAD: “I am a shadow of myself over here. No body really cares enough to recognize me, Olushambles”
OLUSHAMBLES: “Me too, Kibakimad. I am anonymously a ghost here, so to say. And …, tell you what?...”
KIBAKIMAD: “Tell me something, Olushambles”
OLUSHAMBLES: “Flying News… Super, Flying News going round over here in Lagos says it wasn’t the Army and it wasn’t the Police that did it”
KIBAKIMAD: “Hello, Olushambles! Hello… your line is kind of breaking. It wasn’t who that did what?”
OLUSHAMBLES: “They are saying it wasn’t even really the old SARS or the new SWAT that did it too”
KIBAKIMAD: “Who did what exactly, Olushambles? Can you come clearer with your ...