Establishing Love, Abuja (2025)

09/10/2025

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫

Let me be honest — I used to think I knew what I wanted in a woman.
Smart, loyal, supportive, prayerful. That was my list.

But every time a relationship ended, I’d find myself asking the same question: what did I miss?

Then one night, I came across a question that hit me like a brick:

“Do you seek love or control?”

I laughed at first. But then I sat with it — and realised that half the time, what I called ‘leadership’ was actually control.
That question made me rethink how I love, how I communicate, and the kind of peace I want to build in a home.

That single question came from a handbook called Knowing — a ₦7,000 guide with over 200 deep, real questions for men who want clarity before commitment.

These aren’t soft, romantic questions. They’re real ones.

“Are you capable of being a leader?”
“How do you want to be loved?”
“Have you healed from your past relationship?”
“What would you do if your partner earns more than you?”
“Do you feel threatened by a woman’s growth?”

It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being aware.
Because leadership in love starts with self-awareness.

If you’re dating, engaged, or just trying to understand what kind of man you’re becoming, get this book.
It’s ₦7,000, and one evening with it might teach you more about yourself than any sermon or heartbreak ever could.

Click ORDER NOW to get your copy.

09/10/2025

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐈 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐓𝐨𝐨

He prayed with me every morning.
He was active in church, quoted Scripture fluently, and said all the right things about love and leadership.
I used to tell my friends, “This one is different. This one’s from God.”

Until one night, we talked about money.
I asked, “When you imagine marriage, how do you see us handling finances?”
He chuckled, and said, “A good wife doesn’t question her husband’s decisions.”

My heart dropped.
I didn’t argue — I just listened. And in that quiet moment, I realised something: love without alignment will still break your heart.

That conversation changed me. It made me start searching for a way to ask questions that reveal who people are beneath the godly image.

That’s when I found Knowing — a handbook that felt heaven-sent.
It’s filled with 200+ faith-grounded, thought-provoking questions that help couples talk about values, expectations, and leadership before marriage.

It’s not about doubting your partner — it’s about gaining understanding.
And honestly, at ₦7,000, it’s the cheapest form of wisdom you’ll ever buy.

If you’re praying about marriage, prepare for it too.
Click ORDER NOW to get your copy.

09/10/2025

We had been together for almost two years.
We’d met each other’s families, planned trips, even discussed wedding colors. I thought I knew him completely.

One evening, I asked a question I’d seen online: “How do you handle conflict when you’re angry?”
He looked at me, smiled, and said, “I don’t talk. I go quiet until the other person fixes it.”

Something in me froze. That one sentence made me see every unresolved argument, every silent tension, every moment of walking on eggshells… in a new light.
It wasn’t malice — it was emotional immaturity.
And it hit me that love alone wouldn’t survive that.

That night, I sat down with a friend and we started asking ourselves more of those kinds of questions — questions that dig deeper, that make you pause, that tell you whether you’re truly compatible or just comfortable.

Later, I found a handbook that did exactly that. It’s called Knowing — a simple ₦7,000 guide filled with 200+ deep conversation starters like that one.
Questions that don’t just make you talk — they make you see.

If you’re dating or preparing for marriage, I can’t recommend it enough.
👉🏾 Click Learn More or comment KNOWING to get your copy and start having the conversations that build clarity — not confusion.

09/10/2025

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

We had been together for almost two years.
We’d met each other’s families, planned trips, even discussed wedding colors. I thought I knew him completely.

One evening, I asked a question I’d seen online: “How do you handle conflict when you’re angry?”
He looked at me, smiled, and said, “I don’t talk. I go quiet until the other person fixes it.”

Something in me froze. That one sentence made me see every unresolved argument, every silent tension, every moment of walking on eggshells… in a new light.
It wasn’t malice — it was emotional immaturity.
And it hit me that love alone wouldn’t survive that.

That night, I sat down with a friend and we started asking ourselves more of those kinds of questions — questions that dig deeper, that make you pause, that tell you whether you’re truly compatible or just comfortable.

Later, I found a handbook that did exactly that. It’s called Knowing — a simple ₦7,000 guide filled with 200+ deep conversation starters like that one.
Questions that don’t just make you talk — they make you see.

If you’re dating or preparing for marriage, I can’t recommend it enough.

`
👉🏾 Click Learn More or comment KNOWING to get your copy and start having the conversations that build clarity — not confusion.

18/09/2025

A Relationship/Marriage Pitfall to
Watch Out For:

Resentment from feeling like the other person is not suffering as much as you, and hence the need to inflict some kind of suffering on them as a form of balancing out things---a way of making them see the worth and weight of what you do--most especially when it is from something they also benefit from.

It's from here many abuse come from for the woman who is an housewife. The man unknowingly begins to see just the weight of his own suffering to provide, and unconsciously begins to resent her, and where unchecked, begin to emotionally and sometimes physically abuse her just to make her bear some suffering.

In his mind(albeit unconsciously), this abuse is a small thing for her to bear in comparison to all he suffers and all the weight he bears for both of them. This can also be the other way round gender-wise.

**The solution to this isn't "a woman should have her own money." A partner that can do that will sabotage you even in ways that aren't financial.

The answer is a partner who is submitted to Jesus, and has learnt love from Him.
Because if a person has learnt that to love is to look out (and work towards) the other person's interest, then it is harder to grow resentment when the person begins to enjoy what they think is more comfort than them. They actually rejoice in that.

Christian love is so beautiful because somehow even the partner that is at the benefiting end in this context, would also be looking out for the other partner's interest, and so on most days, they would meet in middle; each person's needs met without have to beg or suffer for it.

Cool stuff.

©️TheDaveAyo🪽 | 18/9/2025 | 7:33pm

13/09/2025

Today I found my old Linktree account.

Something that stood out to me is how I have always never known how to play the "act small" role.

I put in my best work for anything I intend to make public, and then I don't try to be "humble" about it.*

I have gone on to do great projects since the last update. Ones that outweigh everything there, but even now, no one can look at the ones there and think they were whack.

You really have to believe your own genius--after you have worked for your p than the average crackhead.

Even if you never get recognized, its a good way to live. What's the downside?

© TheDaveAyo🌀

12/09/2025

𝙄𝙛 𝙞 𝙖𝙢 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙨 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡. 𝘼𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝, 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙮.

Today is 9th September, 2025 and I just got back from the gym. While there, I realised my mind was spiraling, so I left earlier than planned. Why was my head spinning? That is the point of this writing.

Recently, I decided to leave a career I gave 7 years to. I became good at it, but I had to choose between income that ignored my conscience or starting over. I chose to walk away. **Please note I was not into anything illegal.

Now, shifting careers after 7 years is tricky. Your brain gets hardwired to routines, and those can become obstacles when the new career requires the opposite.

For me, it’s leaving PR and Comms for Tech. As someone who managed PR for high-profile people, much of my work meant scanning the internet for crises. It helped me excel, but it also wired me to doomscroll.

On the job, doomscrolling was useful. Even when it hooked me, it didn’t stop me from functioning. But now, it’s a problem. As if leaving a career where I was Lead to learn a whole new skill isn’t tough enough, I also battle this residue: doomscrolling.

I know its dangers, yet I slip into it whenever I hit a roadblock—which is often in something so new. My brain is still adjusting and forming new patterns. To force it, I’ve taken on challenges: gym, content creation, and hobbies that demand daily effort. The goal is clear—convince my brain this is a new era.

It must accept that while I once cracked comms, now it needs to crack Cloud (or AI/ML) Engineering.

The journey is ongoing. My brain is learning. I will win—I’m already squatting 50kg at the gym, something impossible two months ago. Progress comes when I exert myself.

Time to get back at it. If you read this, pick your own lessons.

Cheers
TheDaveAyo🪽 | 11/9/2025 | 9:25pm

Post Script: Finally! I’ve penned this thought. Proof that I can push through—I felt too weak to write. But here we are.

Establishing Love

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