17/03/2025
MY LITTLE LIES AND HOW IT SHAPED MY WORLD
The first time I told a lie that was not so innocent was around the time I was eight years old. My older brother had caught me using a string of profanity as I exited the school bus. I had mumbled the string of hair raising sailor swears under my breath unaware that my brother was standing at the foot of the bus door. As soon as I saw him widened eyes and his hand grasped tightly over his mouth I knew that I was in trouble. “Please, don’t tell dad” I pleaded with tears spilling over the corner of my eyes. She grasped his book bag to his shoulder and sprinted up the big hill to where our large blue house sat ominously, surrounded by wire fence and discarded car parts. I saw his sprint up the front steps to the house, and then he turned to me and the words that I had dreaded for the first eight years of my life was carried from his lips to my ears by the wind. “Wait till dad hears” he shouted, as he disappeared into the large tan front doors of my house.
I entered the house moments later with downcast eyes, a runny nose and an unimaginable sinking feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I had cursed and the shame of it burned deep in my throat. My father sat there on the couch, with my brother pointing in my direction telling him the details of my double life on the bus as a foul mouth. I lowered my eyes in shame as he approached me. His voice boomed like thunder as he asked me the question that he already knew the answer to. I shifted nervously on my feet, and before I knew it, the lie had poured from my lips and into his ears before my brain had the chance to interfere. Ouch! I have nailed my old brother with my little lie.
The story my eight years old brain had created was elaborate, brimming with details that would show that it was not I who had cursed, but my brother. It was my brother who (according to my story) had gotten so mad at me that he pushed me to the ground, pushed my face into the ground and had called me a string of colorful words. After I told the story, my father faced my brother. To my horror and disbelief, my brother accepted the story I have formed before my father, knowing fully well that this was a lie and had he revealed it as one before my father, would have gotten me five swats with the belt, and a week without television. My brother’s eyes were filled with sorrow as he was sent to his room after receiving a swat with the belt. It was at that moment I learned the meaning of remorse. I felt so remorseful that my heart began to ache.
My brother was gentle and kind, and truthful. There was no way he could have did such hurtful things to me. It was against his nature, in every way. Even at his own discomforted he had taken the blame for me. Later that night I sat on his bed, as he looked at me without saying a word. Just large brown eyes that were filled with disappointment. I hugged him, and vowed never to lie again. Well it is now 25 years later, and I now lie with such a passion that I sometimes scare myself. Through all my many lies one thing has been certain, I can never bring myself to lie to my brother and anyone I value. No matter what trouble the truth will cause. He is even dead and gone now, and no doubt that even if he is alive right now, he will not even recall the story if you were to tell him. I remember though and it actually comes to my mind whenever I tell a lie. My brother has been with me through ever bad time, through every smile, through every love found and lost. I believe that without him, I would not be half of who I am today. It breaks my heart when I see brothers who quarrel with each other, people that built strong values and relationship lies to each other and shattered the good relationship. The bond I have with my brother has withstood the tests of time, through lies and truth and will for years to come despise his is gone. I just wish that every little boy who has a brother or a sister will take the time to realize that a brother or a sister is not only your flesh and blood, he or she is your saving grace and the only one who knows your flaws but will love you anyway. If you have a valuable relationship, don’t kill it with little lies.
