26/07/2025
MY FATHER, THE MAN WHO SPOKE IN PROVERB
“A child who does not travel thinks his mother is the best cook.”
That was one of my father's favorite sayings. He would say it with a slight smile and a tone that suggested he was about to teach me something important.
My father, Emmanuel Uchenna Onwugigbo, fondly known as Emma Atu, is a typical Igbo man from Anambra State—firm, wise, proud of his roots, and never short of an adage to drive his point home.
Growing up in a house led by a man like my father meant you had to listen more than you spoke. It wasn’t because he demanded silence, but because when he spoke, you had to think deeply. Every lesson came wrapped in a proverb, and if you didn’t understand it, he would wait—days, even weeks—for life to teach you the meaning.
One time I came home crying because a friend had betrayed me. My father listened quietly, then simply said,
“Onye ji ihe nwata, ejiri ya egwu.”
(The one who holds a child’s property uses it to perform a dance.)
At the time, I didn’t understand. Later, I realized he meant that people will exploit your innocence if you trust blindly.
Emma Atu believed in hard work, respect, and patience.
He’d always say:
“Ngwugwu e ji eje mba, bu ezi omume.”
(The bag that takes you far in life is good character.)
He repeated this so often, I can still hear it in his voice. He wasn’t rich, but his dignity made him the wealthiest man I knew.
During family meetings or traditional ceremonies, you’d see him shine. He would pour libation with confidence, break kola nuts with grace, and speak Igbo that felt like poetry. He didn’t need titles to command respect—his wisdom did that for him.
Now as a grown woman, I find myself using his proverbs in conversations. Sometimes, I say them in English, sometimes in Igbo. But they never lose their power.
The one that stays with me the most is:
“A na-amaghị ama, a mara n’ihu.”
(You may not understand now, but you will understand later.)
That was his way of reminding me that experience teaches more than words.
My father might not be the loudest man in the room, but his words echo louder than most. Through him, I learned that language isn’t just for talking—it’s for guiding, protecting, and remembering where you come from.
And now, when I look in the mirror, I see his wisdom staring back at me—one proverb at a time.