06/09/2025
MARRIAGE: part 3
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (DV) or INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE (IPV)
Domestic violence, sometimes called intimate partner violence (IPV), is a pattern of abusive behavior that one partner uses to gain or maintain power and control over the other in a close relationship (such as marriage, dating, or cohabitation).
It goes far beyond physical harm.
It can include
1. Physical Abuse
*Hitting, slapping, choking, pushing, or using weapons.
*Denying medical care or forcing harmful substances (like drugs or alcohol).
2. Emotional/Psychological Abuse
*Insults, humiliation, constant criticism.
*Threats, intimidation, or making the victim feel worthless.
3. Verbal Abuse
*Shouting, name-calling, or using words to control, belittle, or frighten.
4. Sexual Abuse
*Forcing s*xual acts without consent (including within marriage).
*Treating a partner as a s*xual object.
5. Economic/Financial Abuse
*Controlling all money, preventing the victim from working.
*Giving an “allowance” or making them beg for necessities.
6. Social/Isolation Abuse
*Cutting the victim off from family, friends, or outside support.
*Monitoring their movements, calls, or messages.
Key Characteristics
Patterned Behavior: It usually repeats and escalates over time.
Power & Control: The abuser’s goal is dominance, not just “losing temper.”
Not Just Physical: Even without hitting, emotional, financial, or verbal abuse is still domestic violence.
Important Note
Domestic violence can happen to anyone—regardless of age, gender, culture, or social status. It affects both women and men, though women are statistically more often the victims.
FACTORS INFLUENCING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Violence in marriage doesn’t just happens, it usually grows out of a mix of personal, relational, and societal factors.
Here are some of the main influences:
1. Individual Factors
*History of Trauma or Abuse: People who grew up witnessing or experiencing violence may normalize it.
*Personality & Mental Health: Traits like extreme jealousy, poor emotional regulation, or untreated mental health conditions can raise risks.
*Substance Use: Alcohol and drugs often lower self-control and increase aggression.
2. Relationship Factors
*Power Imbalance: If one partner tries to dominate or control the other, tension and abuse can grow.
*Poor Communication: Unresolved conflicts or constant criticism can escalate into aggression.
*Economic Stress: Financial struggles can create pressure that sometimes turns into violent outbursts.
*Isolation: When one partner cuts the other off from friends or family, it creates dependency and reduces outside support.
3. Social & Cultural Factors
*Gender Norms & Expectations: In some cultures, men are expected to “control” women, making violence more likely or more tolerated.
*Stigma & Silence: In communities where divorce or separation is heavily frowned upon, victims may feel forced to endure abuse.
*Weak Legal Protection: In places where laws or enforcement are weak, abusers may feel little fear of consequences.
4. Situational Triggers
*Stressful Life Events: Job loss, illness, or unexpected crises can heighten conflict.
*Unmet Expectations: Disagreements over roles, parenting, or intimacy can escalate when couples lack healthy coping skills.
NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic violence in marriage doesn’t just affect the two people involved, it ripples through families, children, and even communities.
Here are the major negative effects:
1. Emotional & Psychological Harm
* For the victim: Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, constant fear, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
*For the abuser: Reinforcement of unhealthy behavior patterns, guilt, or denial that prevents personal growth.
*Trust and emotional intimacy—the core of a healthy marriage—get destroyed.
2. Physical Health Consequences
* Injuries from physical violence (bruises, broken bones, lasting disabilities).
* Chronic health problems caused by stress, like headaches, high blood pressure, heart disease, and sleep problems.
*In severe cases, domestic violence can even result in death.
3. Impact on Children
*Children who witness violence often feel fear, guilt, or confusion.
*They may struggle with school, develop anxiety, or show aggression.
*Some grow up believing violence is “normal,” which increases the cycle of abuse in future relationships.
4. Family & Relationship Breakdown
*Loss of trust makes healthy communication and intimacy nearly impossible.
*The marriage may collapse through separation or divorce.
*Families may become divided, leading to social stigma or isolation.
5. Economic & Social Consequences
*Victims may lose work opportunities due to injuries, trauma, or an abusive partner restricting their independence.
*Healthcare costs and legal expenses can rise.
*Communities bear the weight through lost productivity and increased social service demands.
6. Long-Term Generational Effects
*Cycles of violence can pass from one generation to the next.
Healing often requires years of therapy, support, and rebuilding of self-worth.
In summary:
Domestic violence in marriage destroys safety, love, and stability—the very foundation of a healthy partnership. Instead of being a place of peace and support, the marriage becomes a source of fear and pain.
YOUR TAKE HOME:
Violence in marriage is never justified. Responsibility lies with the abuser, not the victim. Healthy marriages are built on respect, safety, and trust.
Cherish you home. Guide and protect it, it's all yours!
Please, follow this page for more update as we unravel the concepts of marriage in our subsequent teachings
Shalom!
