03/08/2023
Before you get married to a man that has been married before or before you get married to a man that is still married, thread carefully so you don't enter into something that you cannot possibly explain.
Initially when he marries you, he would love bomb you. He would spoil you with gifts, shower you with money, care and attention. You on the other hand won't be able to contain your happiness, so you will be all over the place proclaiming to everyone that cares to listen, that the man is not bad, he is an angel, he is a saint, he is this or he is that. His ex wife did not deserve him, he is a good man. All what a man needs is peace and respect bla bla bla.
All those things na initial gra gra. By the time the marriage has properly digested and you have used your mouth to sing his praises to all and sundry, then comes the real character. Gradually, all of it won't show up at once. It starts with him telling you that you are dressed like a house help and he insists on you going to put on a new dress before following him to the occasion. In your head you try to wave it off as him wanting you to look your best, but somehow, the look of disgust he gave to you is giving you an unsettled feeling in the pit of your stomach, but hey maybe I am just overreacting.
Gradually gradually you begin to see some of the traits that may have made the ex wife to leave. With each passing day, he tests you to see your limit, you swallow spit and continue to put up appearances, Afterall who will you tell, after you have already called him a saint. As time goes on he becomes a full blown monster, he shows you matured wickedness, he starts to gaslight you, abuse you emotionally, physically, financially. He starts to mess with your mental health. By then you would have fully understood what you have gotten yourself into.
But how can you leave, what will you tell people? Shey the ex wife was bad and he is a saint, all a man needs is love and respect dazzol, but you are giving him love and respect na, what is happening? The good man is not gooding again, the husband is not husbanding again. Who will you complain to? It's a lonely place to be in.
Some may end up gathering the courage to leave while some others might remain there dying every second in silence of course while putting up a smiling face, make Dem no laugh you, until one day luck might decide to shine on you and you become a widow but we all know that it isn't always the case so......
Be very careful... You are not special.
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