05/03/2026
Sade and Femi are a couple I know very well (though not their real names). Sade was born into an Anglican family while Femi’s family were staunch Muslims.
Sade’s parents had their reservations about Femi’s background, but Sade, a very strong willed lady insisted on marrying Femi.
When they got married, Sade got pregnant almost immediately, each of them went about with their faith without interfering with the other person. However, when Sade gave birth, on the eighth day, Femi decided to call the people from his worship place. Sade would have loved her pastors to come name her child, but she agreed to Femi bringing people from his own faith.
When they came, as it is their custom, the baby’s hair was to be shaved off with new razor, this was new and shocking to Sade because she and Femi had never discussed it.
Sade, already known for her strong will, refused blantantly,
“How will they shave off my baby’s hair” she exclaimed.
They tried persuading her, explaining to her that it’s the custom and the right thing to do, but Sade insisted and collected her baby.
Eventually, the men who had come to name the baby left. After they left, Sade was angry because she felt Femi should have discussed with her, she was born and raised a Christian, therefore, she had never seen where a newly born’s fragile head was subjected to a razor.
Femi on the other hand was furious because Sade made him look like a man who didn’t have a grip on his wife/home, the incidence made him look like a weak man.
Their marriage was new, therefore this event shook whatever they felt for each other to its core. They didn’t really get past that incident.
When the children started growing up, Sade wanted to take them to church while Femi also wanted to raise them in his own faith, unfortunately, the children by themselves chose to follow Sade, because they didn’t like that they were being beaten at Femi’s.
Femi didn’t believe, he thought Sade had poisoned the children’s minds against his faith. This marriage kept on having issues until Femi left one day.
Some years ago a colleague argued with me that Nigerians should be more liberal; he questioned why we always say we shouldn’t marry outside our faith as Christians, I then told him this story.
Truth is, Sade had the right to be angry during that naming ceremony and Femi also is justified for his anger, the challenge they both had was that they didn’t realize that to have a happy home, part of the things that should align is personal and faith beliefs. Imagine, you as a Christian wanting to marry someone who believes in carrying sacrifices, how will That work?
Femi should have simply married someone who understood and was also raised in his faith.
Before you argue that there are people whose faith do not align and their marriage worked, you see if you see a marriage of two different faiths working, it means one or both of them are not serious with their faith, if they are, they wouldn’t be able to cope.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
II Corinthians 6:14 NKJV
Kolohun Sanu.
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