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Master Mike, Calabar (2025)

12/09/2025

What do you know about these ones 😁😁

12/09/2025

😁 OYA OO LAUGHTER TIME!! 😹

1. I was trying to prove my love for this my girlfriend Favour and the following conversation ensued...🙄
ME: Favour, I can do anything for you🥹. I can swim the oceans for you🥺. I can run round the world for you‚ all for your love.❤‍🩹
FAVOUR: (Flattered) OK. I have one question for you. 😒
ME: What? 🥲
FAVOUR: Can you dïe for me? 😒
ME: Noooo! My love for you is an undyïng love. 🙄🤭😂😂
2. Omorr this girl ehn... Imagine!😒
Favour: “Why did you go out and stand on the balcony when I was singing ? Don’t you like to hear my voice ?” 🙄
Me: “It’s not that oo... I just want the neighbors to know that I’m not beatïng my girlfriend 😒🤭😂😂
3. MOTHER: Faith‚ can you please clean the fish I bought from the market? 😊
ME: WTF ?! 😒
MOTHER: What do you mean by “WTF”? 🙄
ME: I mean “Where's the Fish”. 🙁🤭😂😂
4. Please watch me on BBC news now😌...
I just passed behind a man being interviewed in the morning 🤭😂😂
5. Are you feeling weak‚ dizzy or like vömiting?🙁🤷
Don’t worry my sister‚ the end of the month seed is germinating slowly 🤭😂😂🚶‍♀️I noticed it in Favour also today 😒
7. Dear English‚ Please stop disappearing when I’m talking to my crush like Favour 🙄🚶‍♀️😂
8. Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria.
Student: Here it is Ma’am! ☺️
Teacher: Where? It is Blank. 🙄
Student: You told us that bacteria cannot be seen with näked eyes! 😒🤭😂😂
9. Nothing is sweeter than when you notice that you faïled Exams and your friend also faïled 😳💔🤭😂😂
10. Teacher: Emeka‚ your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brothers’. Did you copy his ? 🙄
Emeka: No, teacher, it’s the same dog 🤭😂😂
11. Which number made you smile the most 😊😁
TBC...☺️
________

12/09/2025

Michael: Babe, I love you.

Amaka: I love you too.

Amaka: But tell me, Michael… what exactly do you love about me?

Michael: (smiling) I love the way you make me feel. I love how you always respect me, how you take care of me, how you treat me right.

Amaka: (pauses) Hmm… so you love me because of the way I treat you?

Michael: Of course. That’s why I love you.

Amaka: (quietly) But what happens if I change? What if one day I don’t treat you the same way?

Michael: (hesitates) Then… it won’t feel the same anymore.

Amaka: (sighs) That’s the problem. You don’t really love me, Michael. You love what I do for you.. not who I am.

This is a reality many people don’t like to face: some partners never loved you.

They only loved the way you made them feel.

They loved your respect, your attention, your effort, your sacrifices. They loved your consistency in giving.

But you the actual person behind those actions? they never learned how to value.

That’s why the moment you change, the moment you grow, or the moment you stop overextending yourself, their “love” quickly turns into complaints.

Because what they loved was never you it was the benefits you provided.

Real love is not conditional on how much you give. Real love sees the person, not just the service.

It stays through seasons. Through shifts. Through the days you’re not at your best.

So when someone’s affection disappears the second you stop doing for them, take it as clarity!

They never loved you. They only loved what you did for them.

12/09/2025

Their Mother Diě-d in 2025 💔
This is so sâd 😭 😭

12/09/2025

If you have small money, always dash pure water sellers especially the kids money or just leave the change for them.

They’re really really trying.

Today in the market, I withdrew money from the pos and I was given 200N note all through.

I removed 1k, buy the first pure water, gave the boy 200N and told him to keep the change.

Bought another one after I did some waybill, gave him 200N and told him to keep the change too.

Repeated it 5 times.

Their happiness, smile and appreciation made me wonder what 170N naira profit on one pure water can do those kids.

You will think I dash them 1k with the way they were saying thank you.

It’s been a long time since I made the decision never to take change from them again.

They’re doing what I can’t even imagine to do.

They’re trying.

12/09/2025

Them say I be oyibo ,but check am well..na just fair lagos girl I be 🇳🇬😂😘♥️

12/09/2025

1. PERSON WEY GO DO ODESHI, DON GET APPENDIX*

*NOW DOCTOR WAN OPERATE AM KNIFE NO GREE ENTER 😁

wahala be like waiting again😅

2. THEM DON SLAP EYE👀 WITNESS FOR EYES*

*NOW HIM NO FIT TALK WAITING EYES👀 SEE*
😂😂😂😂😂

3. UNTIL THIS RAIN CARRY PERSON, ENTER ANOTHER PERSON RELATIONSHIP.*

*IT WON'T REST*

😂😂😂

4. This rain is threatening my Virginity but Odeshi🥴🥴🥴🥴🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

5. Dating two short ladies isn’t cheating, because half plus half equal one 🤣🤣🤣

6. DSTV should Come n explain to us why they placed NIGERIAN TELEVISION AUTHORITY (NTA) on channel 419?🤔

7. Today marks exactly two weeks since I helped a guy to push his car
Not knowing his going to pick up my crush.😁😁🤣🤣🤣😃😃

8. Does your parents know that you're crying over a guy that is not eligible to borrow airtime from Airtel??????
Love kill u there😅😅😊😁😁🤣

9. This boyfriend and girlfriend stuff you people are doing
Is it sweet😏?😅

11. Dear ladies, we don't care how cute your selfies are.

The ancestor in your ID is the real you🙄😁😂😂😂😂😂🏃🏃🏃

12. Ahh! This girl eh. Tell me more about yourself and you're telling me you owe your school *₦70000*.

Does that concern me?
😒 😒

13. A doctor ask me in front of my mother that , when was the last time I had séx 😳😳😳😳😳 l turn to my mother and said, mum what food is that🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

14. Being gay start once you date a girl with a flat ass*
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

15. To whom it may counsine
Before you will start fighting for land in your village......... first of all know the meaning of glorious exist and gone so soon🤣🙄

16. When the relationship is new........
Her: baby I saw you inside keke
Him: I saw you more baby 😂😀😃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

17. This morning my girlfriend broke up with me because a dog🐕 chased us and I ran faster that her🏃🏽‍♂️🏃🏽‍♂️🏃🏽‍♂️🏃🏽‍♂️* *I did wrong?🤦🏽‍♂️😂😂*

18. Don't be a boring girlfriend,take him to the mortuary and show him the space you have kept for hi

11/09/2025

LAUGH ALOUD CUTIES 😜😜😅😅😅

1.Because a girl replied you with “thanks love”
You now rush to inbox her. Now she snubbed you.
You see as you disgraçe yourself•

2.Ladies imagine walking into heaven & the kids you abörted shouts. “Angel Gabriel..!! na she be that..! See her see her!!! Na she be that!!

3.Abeg I hatë people replying me with “hmmmm” during chats or bringing it into our chats... It makes me remember the möney I lost in MMM.

4.Dear smökers,
The Kidnëy you are damäging with cigarette,why not sell it and buy G-wagon for your parents?

5.Women behave mäture and intelligent during the period of pregnançy Because at the same time her body have 2 braïns, the child’s & her own. 🏃🤭??😂

6. My friend when your crush finally texts you and say “Hi how are you?” Do not waste time just reply “I’m single and you?” I repeat do not wastë time.

7.It’s only in NIGERIA people will knock on your door and still uses their mouth to do “ko-ko-ko”
Nigerians.... But why?

8.When a guy doesn’t love you anymore you will hear things like ... “baby why did you step on my shadow ? Do you want to injure my spirit ? It’s over please!

9. Nobody is as serious as an Igbó man when counting möney... You will say “Good morning sir!” And He will be like “52 my son
”
10.When you treat your woman nicely, God will bless you with another one .
Am I making any sensë?

Lord, I’m not asking Much from You; But just that That Soul Reáding this Post, May You Do a Míracle for them that Never Expécted it will happen!!!!🙏🙏😔

Cutie, Can I get a F0LL0W from you,

11/09/2025

😂LAUGH AGAIN🤣

1. Girls with gâp teeth chêāt 😬 a lot, they always have Space for another guy🙄😏

2. Relātionship stréss is so paînfúl, i scrâtçhed someone's head in a taxi thinking its mine😒😂

3. I wonder why Women called it mēnstrúatiôn Instead of womenstruation. They like shifting all Their prøblems to men.😑🏃🏃

4. I always hâted weddings😏 because the elderly would come over and poke to me saying "You're next💁‍♂️." They st0pped doing it when I started doing it to them at fúnêrāls.🚶‍♂️😌

5. I can't wait to marry 3 wives So that 3 of them will be fīghtīng over who will slēep with me first??😂😂

6. Nothing is as paînfúl as swall0wing a st0len meat without chewíng because you thought that someone was coming😒😒😒
Very very paíñfúl♨

7. Kids Of 2years Can Now Unloçk Phones And Play Candy Crūsh.
At That Age I Was Chewíng Sand🙆🙆‍😒

8. Can't wait to get marrīed, one little Argúmēnt 🙄 I'm leaving the ring on the table😌!

9. That moment when you're trying to make a silént fàrt while chilling with family 😘 and the Dëvîl connects the speakers.😭😭
😂😂😂😂😂😂

10. I swêãr with my life to líke and cômment on this post and also følløw his pagee and profile... Remember you don swêãr. Sørry 🏃🏃

11. It really paîns me, whenever I make some people laugh, they will go without líke, cômment or following me Master MikeMaster Mike

11/09/2025

TRIBUTE TO GARRI.

Dear Garri, I have always wanted to write this to you because you've been there for me when others left, so I decided to eulogize and define you in a special way.
G = Giver of Energy.
A = Attitude changer (from bad mood to good mood )
R = Reducer of weakness in the muscles and joints
I = Increaser of agility

Some friends have described you in many ways like
* STUDENTS power
* Life support.
* The last hope of the common man
* Weakness extinguisher

You are the first son of cassava
* The sibling of Akpu (fufu or loi loi)
* The father of Eba
* The cousin to Tapioca...
My Love for you is indescribable,.
CORN flakes came, but he left me.
Golden morn also came but left me too.
But you came and stood by me

Oh dear old Garri, you are a loyal friend to the Rich, and Bestie to the Poor.
You're always compatible with everything. I enjoy taking you with
* Groundnuts
* Fish
* Kulikuli ( child to groundnut )
* Beans.
* Moi-Moi ( child to beans)
*Akara (sibling to moi-moi)
You work hand in hand with your associates like
* Sugar, Milk, Coconut, Soya milk etc
Beloved Garri, I will never leave you or abandon you, for your taste is more than a thousand corn flak......... ✌️✌️✌️✌️❤️‍🩹
👉

11/09/2025

I can't wait to get married
😋😋😋😋😊😊😊😊😁😁😁😁
So that my wife will wear a sexy mini skirt on a Saturday to seduce me
😋😋😋😋😋😋😍😍😍😍😍😍
When she is washing my cloths she will be like "honey help me with hanger"
🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
Then I will come out to give her the hanger and I will smile and say "OMG you look good"
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
After that I and her will enter the kitchen and she will start frying chicken
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
While she is frying the chicken then i will hold her from back....
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
And she will be like "oh Baby wait let me finish frying this chicken first"
🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
And she will be like "Are you not hungry?"
I will smile😁😁😁
And look into her eyes And say "baby U are more important than this Food"
😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
And I will be like "Thank God For giving me a wonderful woman like you" 😊😊😊😊
After that...
I will carry her And we enter Bedroom
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
And...........And..............And.........
😋😋😋😋💃💃🕺🏿🕺🏿😃😃😃😃
The food will burn and the house will catch fire
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
then we run out naked
🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿
with boxers and pants in our
hands.
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Then we build another house and continue our thing😋😋🤣🤣
😁😁😁
My friend Ebuka was baptized in his church. The pastor dipped his head into water 3 times and said you are now baptized. Your sins are forgiven, you are now a new creation, your name is now Jacob. Since you are born again, no more drinking of alcohol.
Jacob went home and goes to his refrigerator, took all his alcohol bottles out, dipped them into water 3 times and said you're baptized also, your sins are forgiven, you're a new creation now, your name is now Fruit Juice.🥴🥴

😂😂😂😂😂😂

11/09/2025

A permanent job is coming your way this month!

Master Mike

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