30/10/2020
I love my wife. I love the way she teaches me how to love her daily, knowing that we are both coming into marriage with different programing...
The way I was brought up, I was never used to telling my Mom "thank you" after eating. I just get on with it, and after the meal I tidy up. This does not in any way mean I am rude, or that I didnt appreciate my moms cooking, infact, no one cooks better ( besides my wife lol), but my 'thank you' after a meal never bothered her, she knows I love and appreciate every meal, and I always showed it in my actions.
But here I am in a marriage, married to the most amazing woman who is not my mother.
Here I am trying to just enjoy Choco's food and save her the stress of tidying up by doing it myself, because that was how I was wired.
But no, Wifey grew up in a home where 'thank you' is like a national anthem. So she wants more, always wants more from me.
First she started to teach me how to say thank you in the most humble and polite way.
She'll say, "baby, how can you be eating my food and keeping quiet"?
Me that grew up eating my Mom's food in total silence, now I have to reprogram my makeup.
Babe wants me to say thank you, not just the usual tradition thank you, she started teaching me to say it with different words of affirmations;
- Babe, this stew taste like it was cooked in London.
- Love, this meat is as soft as your buttocks. 🤪🤪
- Baby this oil is straight from Zimbabwe.
- Sweet, did you order this fufu from Dubai? Why so fresh?
So I started to learn how to say thank you in a thousand other ways.
As I got better with my vocal affirmations, wifey added an extra spice to it; Now I have to say those kind words with a kiss after every meal. Hmmmm, I'm serious, wifey has her own ten commandments of marriage, and I can't deal, but I am learning.
What shocked me the most was how she taught me how a husband should pray over his wife's food.
You know usually a man just says, "Father, I bless this food in the name of Jesus, Amen."
This is how I pray, a simple prayer before meals.
But wifey taught me how it is done. She said it is not so right for a husband to bless a meal prepared by his wife.
Why?
She said because the food is already blessed.
A good wife is a blessing, so whatever a blessing touches becomes blessed, including meals.
So how is a husband supposed to pray over his wife's cooking?
A husband is supposed to invite God to enjoy his wife's blessing with him.
"Father, thank you for this meal, I invite you to enjoy this delicious blessing with me. Amen."
Ha, wahala for person weh wan marry anyhow.
Guys, this is no ten commandment. I'm only saying, because we are wired differently, we have to be patient to teach eachother how we want to be loved, we must be patient to learn, and willing to adapt into our partner's default settings.
Marriage is not difficult, our problem is just stubbornness.
