22/01/2026
Today, I was just strolling down the road, minding my own business, when two guys suddenly called out to me from a small barbershop nearby.
“Hey! Boss!” Their tone had this weird urgency that made me pause.
I turned around, heart picking up a little—what’s this about?
They looked like barbers, clippers in hand, but the way they called me felt almost… intense.
They asked, “You wan barb?” I shook my head. “Nah, not really..” I didn’t wait for more conversation; I just kept walking to meet the person I was actually headed to see.
I got to the junction, phone buzzed—the person called and canceled. Plans off. Great.
With a sigh, I turned back the way I came. As I passed the same two guys’ shop again, something stupid clicked in my head.
Why not give them a try?
Even though my regular barber is excellent—super skilled, shop literally one pole away—and their prices were exactly the same. I knew it wouldn’t be cheaper, but curiosity won. I walked in.
They greeted me like I was their favorite customer. “Sit down, boss!” Generator humming, clipper fired up with that loud zzzzz. From the very first stroke, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake😑.
That clipper was razor-sharp, like it wanted to take skin along with the hair. I winced and said, “Oga, this clipper is too sharp! Please take it easy.”
He smiled calmly. “No worry, I go dey gentle.” Gentle? The word clearly meant something different to him.
I sat there enduring, body tense, every pass sending shivers down my spine. Then he got to the jawline—the danger zone. My brain went into overdrive: What if he slips and slices my trachea? (That tube that carries air to your lungs—yes, that one!)😭
One wrong move and I’m done. I started shifting in the chair, dodging instinctively. The chair itself tilted dangerously, almost tipping over, but the guy just kept going like nothing was happening.
It felt like he spent two full weeks on my neck😭😭.
Sweat was pouring down from everywhere,my heart was pounding out of my chest. Finally, he finished one side.
As he moved to the other side, I couldn’t take it anymore, that's when I fired out:
“Oga, e don do abeg! just leave am like that.”
Him: “But e no go look sharp o…”
Me: “Sharp or not sharp, abeg leave am! Infact, you don try. How much?
”
Him: “Relax, bro, I’m almost done.”
Me: “No, you’re not using that clipper on me again.”
He actually went and fetched a different clipper. “This one isn’t too sharp, but I’ll manage with it.”
Me: “So you had another one the whole time and decided to use the murder weapon first? Please just be careful.”
He finally finished—carving fancy lines which my hair wasn’t even long enough to reach😭😂
As he cleaned up, he flashed a big smile and said:
“Anything to make you come back to our shop.”
The kind bombastic side-eye I gave him ehh😂. If looks could kill, we’d be planning his funeral right there on the spot. Wetin pesin no go see for this Ifite? 😭😂
If na you, shey you go go back?😂
