16/05/2025
Hello, everyone.
My name is Henry.
Yeah⦠that Henry.
The one who made curse words sound harmless.
The one who got Jordan hooked on p**n.
The one who turned a sweet little girl into a m**h addict.
That Henry.
And I am the worst person I know.
Iāve done thingsādark thingsāIām not proud of.
But hereās the ugly truth: I didnāt care. Not back then.
See, growing up, life felt like hell. And somehow it was almost as though everywhere I went, I influenced people negatively. It was never my intention but I never felt guilty. It wasn't my fault they got influenced.
Not until the day I killed someone.
I didnāt plan it.
I swearāI am terrible in so many ways yeah, but I wasnāt a killer.
At least, I didnāt think I was.
The police had me in cuffs before I even realized she was gone.
Gone.
Lifeless.
Terror wrapped its hands around my throat.
She wasnāt supposed to die. I didnāt mean it.
I was drunk. High. Out of my mind.
āI didnāt know what I was doing!ā
āI didnāt plan this!ā
āIām not a murderer!ā
Thatās what I screamed as they slammed me into the back of the van.
I panicked. Because I knew what happens to people like me.
Killers. Monsters.
The ones who cross the final line.
That day lives rent-free in my head.
Not just because I took a lifeā¦
But because that was the second time I heard Him.
And this time, I was cooked.
---
The first time He came was six months ago.
I was sitting beside my momās deathbed when I heard His voice.
Fun fact: my dad killed my mom.
Not all at onceābut with every punch, every slap, every curse word⦠she faded.
My mom was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Honestly, sometimes I feel she didnāt deserve me. Or my dad. Or any of this mess.
She shouldāve been left in heaven. Earth wasnāt worthy of her.
In the middle of her pain, she still poured out love.
Even when I started acting just like him⦠she never gave up on me.
She cared. She prayed. She cried. She tried.
Whenever my dad threw my grades in her face to break her heart, she didnāt lash out.
She just wept.
And prayed through the nightāfor me, and for the man breaking her.
That day, beside her bed, she looked paleālike the life had already left her.
I wasnāt there when my dad shoved her down the stairs.
But I was there to hold what was left of her.
Her eyes were distant. Empty.
When she saw me, she forced a weak smile and whispered, āI leave him with youā¦ā
Then⦠she looked away.
And she was gone.
I was torn apart. And somehow, in the middle of my shattered mind, I heard Him speak:
āShe is with Me now. In a place where sorrow doesnāt exist, and pain is just a myth.ā
That was all He said.
I didnāt hear Him againāuntil the night I killed Sarah.
---
Sarah and I had just come back from the club.
It was 3 a.m.āstill dark outside.
She headed for the bed, and I asked her to wait. I wanted to change the sheets first.
I honestly donāt even know why. It didnāt make sense. But in that moment, it mattered to me.
She ignored me. Just walked toward the bed like I hadnāt spoken.
And I lost it.
I hated being ignored.
So I reached for som**hingāanythingāto get her attention.
The closest thing was a bottle.
I didnāt aim to kill her. I just wanted to throw it.
But when the glass hit her head and she screamed⦠I froze.
I stood there in the dark.
The silence wasnāt peacefulāit was punishment.
My hands shook. Not from drugsāIād been clean a while.
This was shame.
The scene in front of meāit looked too familiar.
It looked like my mom six months ago.
Except this time, I was the one who did it.
I had become the very thing I swore Iād never be.
I had become my father.
The bottle lay shattered on the floor.
But it wasnāt the only thing broken.
Then I heard it.
āThis isnāt who you are.ā
The voice was soft. Not condemning.
But it cut deeper than any fist ever could.
āYou were made for more.ā
I swallowed hard, scanning the room like someone might be there.
But I was aloneāwith a mess I couldnāt blame on anyone else.
Still, I knew that voice. It wasnāt mine.
But it wasnāt unfamiliar.
My chest tightened.
I closed my eyes, and there she was againāmy mother.
Lying lifeless.
āShe asked Me to keep you. So I did. Even when you ran. Even now.ā
I shook my head, pressing my palms to my face.
I didnāt want to hear it. But I needed to.
āYou donāt have to carry this curse. The chain can break here.ā
āBut I donāt know how to be different.ā
āYou donāt have to. Just follow Me. Iāll teach you.ā
I opened my eyes.
The bottle was still in pieces.
So was I.
But for the first time in a long timeā¦
I didnāt feel alone.