08/12/2024
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 please when reading this story, make sure you sit on the bed where you can collapse without hurting yourself.
When I was only eight years old, my mother had a fīght with Emeka's mother. It was a serious fîght between the two women.
Emeka's mother rushed out and started pointing hands at my mother. At that moment, my mother, who had been trying to control her temper, decided to unleash it. She too pointed hands at Emeka's mother and pûshed her on her chest. That was how the both women began to exchange blows. They dragged themselves on the floor like children.
Emeka and I had gone to buy sweets together during this time. From the distance, we could see our mothers locked in a tug of wár.
When Emeka saw my mother seated on his mother like a bank chair, he shouted.
"Your mama wan k!ll my mama for me o."
I turned to find my mother dragging his mother’s hair on the floor like a toilet mob. Emeka immediately ran and pûshed my mother on the flóór😦
That was when our friendship ended. I pulled off my shoe and chased Emeka behind. I landed him a big blów on his face for púshing my mother. Emeka féll on the flóór.
His mother who had seen this, left my mother, and landed a mountainous slap on my face, for blowing her son, Emeka.😩
The sláp entered my brain. It próvóked instant cry that I did not want to cry. I sucked it in and swallowed saliva.
My mother, who saw the way I was slapped by Emeka's mother, dragged Emeka by his shirt and slapped him as a revenge
I was still trying to nurse the effect of Mama Emeka's slap, when she dragged me like a sack of garri, and wired two electric slàps on my both cheeks. The slàps penetrated my spinal cord, landing me partial paralysis. I fell to the ground and the cry I was struggling to hold started coming out😭
My mother who was still holding Emeka's shirt, arranged Emeka's face properly and landed seven slàps out of ànger. That is three times the slaps his mother had given me🥺
"If you sláp my pikin, I go sláp your pikin time two." My mother challenged.
When I saw what my mother had done, I stood up to run away. Emeka was also struggling to come out of my mother's firm grip😌
"David my son be strong. If she slap you, I will slap her son. Let us see who would win." My mother said.
Before I could say 'Yes ma', Emeka's mother lífted me up and landed fourteen electric slàps, with seven coconut cracking knócks on my hèàd.😭😭
As she was knócking me, I was seeing the future. I saw myself standing before God and his angels. I saw the sky turn purple and the waters turn ash. I saw our local chicken grow horns and our dog with human head. When she was done, she threw me on the floor like a piece of paper.
My mother picked Emeka up and fired 18slàps, and 23knôcks.
"You slàp my pikin, I go double am for your pikin." She thundered angrily.
That was when Emeka looked at me. His head had swollen up like the back of a protruded pot.
"David, our mother's want to k!ll us. They are doing slapping competition with our head. Your mother hand is like iron sponge. All my face is peppering me." Emeka complained.
"Better my mother o. Your mother is using me to show power. Her hand is like sand paper. Everywhere is just rough. No atom of smoothness at all." I replied.🥺
We were still talking and finding a way out of the predicament, when Emeka's mother dragged me up to wire her electric slàps again.
I pulled the shirt I was wearing and escaped without my shoes. Emeka followed me behind. We were like goats that escaped from a farm. We both panted as we ran😩
"David come back here and fight with your mother. Be a man." My mother shouted.
"Be which man?Mama I say be which man?"😭😭😭
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