Mürphy Vïbëz

14/11/2022

1. The whitest man on earth still have a
black shadow. *
2. .No mechanic can repair breaking news. *
3. No matter how tall you are, you can never
see tomorrow. *
4. Even if you have millions of cars, you still
have to walk to your bedroom. *
5. You, being the best swimmer doesn't
make you a fish. *
6. The strongest man on earth can never
carry a mountain. *
7. The smartest Assassin on earth can never
kill Water. *
8. No matter how smart a police is, he can
never catch the air. *
9. No matter how mighty and powerful your
enemies are they will never succeed over
you! No matter how satan is powerful i
don't really think he can stop you from
**Saying Amen**

14/11/2022

FUNNY JOKES 😂 😹👇

1. Deep down, I want to Barb my hair & spray it gold colour, but the problem is; I don't have another house to stay 🤧😭

2. Who says what a man can do, a woman can do better?...ok, a man can use his boxers as rag, women can u use... uhm eh... u know....as rag? 🥴🤒😹😹

3. African Dad can be so annoying.. they will go outside buy bread 🍞, come house & still send u to go & buy milk & Milo😹😹

4. I pity women who's husbands are teachers, instead of finding money in their husband's pocket, they would be seeing chalk, marker & d list of noise makers 😹😂🤣

5. Dear ladies, sometimes u have to kiss ur boyfriend in front of that bitch he calls bestie for verification.. don't thank me..I mean; what are friends for 😹😂🤣

6. Instead of braking someone's he*art, why not look for that small Calabash where ur village ppl tied ur des"tiny & break it...id*iot 🤒🚶🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️😹

7. There's a place called "staff room" in high school.. u see dat place? All the wit*ches are just there 😹😂🤣

8. My mum asked my girlfriend if she can cook & she replied boldly "Mama I cook the tea we drank this morning" I fainted 😩😹😹

9. Plz I have a girlfriend, u girls should stop disturbing me nah🤡😹🙈

10. Instead of joining cu*lt in school, dyin*g like fowl, why not tell ur parents to use u for Money ritu*al...simple arithmetic 🥴😂🤣

11. U might have money More than me, but u are not the owner of that N420 in my account 🤒🥴😂🤣

12. Imagine my parents gave birth to me without my permission, what if I want to be a👇👇👇 croco*dile nko? 🤡😹😂🤣

13. Nigerian girls will be calling nurse as "nerse'' but wen there's emergency u will hear them shouting "nursii, nursii oo, nursuu where una dey 😂😂 Lol 😹

13/11/2022

😂😂🙆🙆🙆😂😂
Teacher called me and my Twin Brother And my frnd into his office,
TEACHER: Why didn't you
study?
Franklyn: Ok, Relax let me explain the whole thing,
A year has 365 days
for us to study. After
taking away 52 Sundays,
there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the
summer that is way too hot
to work so there are only 263
days left. We sleep 8 hours a
day, in a year, that counts up
to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. We fooled
around for only 1 hour per day
Which makes up the total of 15 days in the year, so we are
left with 126 days. We spend 2
hours eating each day, 30 days
are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96
days in our year. We spend 1
hour a day speaking to friends
and family, that takes away
15 days more and we are left
with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in
Our year; hence we are only
left with 46 days. Taking off
approximately 40 days of
holidays, we are only left
with 6 days. We became sick for a minimum of 3 days;
And we're left with 3 days in the
year to study! Let's say we
only go out for 2 days...Then we are left with 1 day. But that 1 day
is our birthday. That's why we did not study

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

04/11/2022

REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE DON'T GREET
ELDERS IN THEIR VILLAGE.....

Some village old women are too much.😌 Just
greet an old woman and she will tell u the
story of ur generations...😅

" good morning maaama"😊 Old woman: "good morning"
Is this not
chinedu the son of Ebuka 🤔the man who
r***d two girls before getting married to
Chioma the daughter of palm wine seller
😏who fell from a palm tree while staring at the buttocks of nannozi the village famous
pr******te who aborted sixteen pregnancies
before getting married to Buchi the musoga
from the neighbouring village....... 🤔is it not ur
grandfather mzee katende that died of
Madness!!!!..... eh😳😳.... so u have grown so big now😲.. very wonderful😊😊
_______

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You don't have to enter aeroplane to follow me 😄😄😂 Just tap and follow
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04/11/2022

5kids is ok for me.
2 yahoo boys.
1 efcc.
1 lawyer and 1native
doctor 😂😂😂😂😂🚶🚶🚶

14/10/2022

Davido is 32
Wizkid is 35
TU face is 40
32+35+40=107
Now look at this!
Ronaldo is 38
Messi is 37
Okocha is 40
40+38+37=115
NIGERIA is 7 letters
USA 3 letters
7+3=10
The truth is I don't even know the meaning of this post....
I just want to waste your time, but if e pain you too much, come beat me I'm in my house.😂😎😎😎🤫🤫🤫

12/10/2022

D sheep's 🐑 live their whole life afraid 😱 of d lion 🦁 but ended up eaten by d Shepard.... 😜😜😜🚶🚶🚶

-of-wisdom

11/10/2022

After Dillalah Killed Samson

She den return 2 kogi state

10/10/2022

Never u raise ur hand 2 beat a woman 🙋, wen she make u angry ,,,, just walk out and com back with a full chicken 🐓 and eat alone......

🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

10/10/2022

😂😂 JOKE OF THE DAY 😂😂

Emmanuel is a house boy who drinks his boss'🕴️ wine and then adds water for cover up. His boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties (A french wine that change colour if water added).

As usual, Emmanuel drank the pasties and topped it up with water. Ūnfortunately for him, the pasties changed colour. When the boss came back home and notice the colour change, he told his wife about it.

Emmanuel knew he was in troūble and decided to stay in the kitchen.
The boss shouted, "Emmanuel!!!"
Emmanuel answered.."Yes, Sir!"
Boss.. "Who drank the pasties?"
Emmanuel didn't respond.
The boss ask again, still no answer. Then the boss went to the kitchen to confront him. "Are you insāne or what? When I called you, you said 'Yes Sir', but when I asked you a question, you didn't answer me!
Hmmm Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don't hear anything except your name," EMMANUEL answered.
"Let's try it. Okay go to the bar and stand beside madam, while I will stay in the kitchen. Then call me and then ask me any question," The Boss suggested.

Emmanuel shouted, "Boss!"
Boss answered, "Yes!"
Emmanuel asked, "Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam isn't around?"
Boss didn't answer.
Emmanuel ask again, the Boss kept quiet.
The boss came out from the kitchen shouting, "Wønders shall Nevēr end!!! Emmanuel it's true. When one's in the kitchen, one doesn't hear anything except ones name".
The wife interrupted, "That's not true. It's a lïe".

Without argument Emmanuel ask if she'd like to enter the kitchen to be tested and she agreed.
Emmanuel called, "Madam!
Madam answered, "Yes!"
Emmanuel asked, "Who is Junior's biological father? Me or boss?"
Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying, "This kitchen needs to be checked, I can't

09/10/2022

07/10/2022

Plz help a brother 🙏🙏🙏🙏...
I was cooking den my salt finished,,,, Abeg who get small salt, 6 Maggie, small crayfish, 4 cups of rice, onions, tomato 🍅and small oil .. 😏😏😏😏