16/10/2025
I'm so eager to read comments.
When I met this man, he didn’t tell me he was married. I only observed that he rarely picked up calls. When he finally did, he would say he was very busy, and sometimes it would take hours before he picked.
One time, I insisted that he should take me to his house. He said he didn’t have an accommodation of his own, that he was managing with his cousin who was married. He added that his cousin’s wife wanted him to marry her friend, and that she wouldn’t be happy seeing him come to their house with another woman. He told me to relax — that once he moved out of his cousin’s house, both of us would live together before marriage.
I accepted his explanation because we were always seeing and meeting each other. He didn’t even keep his phone away from me. I saw pictures of a woman and kids on his phone, but he said the woman was his only sister — that her husband had left her for someone else, and he was the one taking care of her and the children. He even said one day he would take me to her house.
I had no doubts because sometimes he would ask me to answer calls on his phone. One day, a particular number saved as “Choppy” called him. He said the person was calling to ask for his money. When I asked if he owed the man, he said yes but refused to answer the call even though it rang many times.
He told me the caller was a man, but when I copied the number and saved it on my phone, it turned out to be a woman — and the name on Truecaller bore his own name. I confronted him, but he said that wasn’t the number that called him, that the person I was referring to was his sister, and that’s why it bore the same name. I was confused, thinking I must have made a mistake.
In May this year, I went to a wedding and invited him to come with me. He said he wanted to go to his village with his sister to return her bride price. I agreed.
While returning from the wedding, the lady who gave me a ride took another route, so I had to come down to take a bike back home. While standing on the road, I saw him with a lady inside his car. Our eyes met, but he quickly sped away. I called him, but he didn’t pick up.
After two days, he came to my place and said he had an accident on his way to the village. He also denied being the one I saw with a lady.
When I told my colleague that we had been dating for a year and some months and that I’d never been to his house, she was surprised. I explained that he spent most of his time at my place, and sometimes we slept in a hotel. Whenever that happened, he would call his cousin to say he wouldn’t be back till morning. I had no reason to worry — I was certain he was genuine.
My colleague advised me to secretly follow him to his cousin’s house to see if he would introduce me to his cousin. I told her he wouldn’t be happy if I did that. Eventually, I did what my colleague advised, and I found out from the security man that it was actually his house — with his wife and children.
I called him and told him I was outside his house, and that if he didn’t come out, I would walk inside. He came out, and when I tried to raise my voice, he took me somewhere else and apologized.
This was at the end of May. I couldn’t let him go because we were already in love.
He said he wanted to divorce his wife, and that’s why he needed a replacement — which was me — before divorcing her. He said his wife forced him to marry her, but now he knew better and wanted out. He asked me to give him till July to get his wife out of his life.
Since then, we stayed together, and he kept promising to take me home soon (to his house).
Long story short, I am now six weeks pregnant for him, and till now, he hasn’t divorced his wife. Ever since I told him about the pregnancy, he has been avoiding my calls. He only comes on Sundays.
It’s been two weeks now; his phones are switched off. I went to his house with someone who pretended to be from NEPA, only to discover that he and his wife had relocated. I don’t even know if he’s still in Nigeria or not, because even his wife’s number is switched off.
The security man said his wife was promoted in her office, hence the relocation. He also said the man’s job had ended, so they moved. I told the security man that I was pregnant for him, and he said it was impossible — that “Oga and Madam” are like five and six. He said Oga was the one who got the job for his wife years ago, that he loves her so much.
How can he love his wife and also love me? How?
The security even said it seems they are not in Nigeria, because the company that sent him to work for Oga had called him to return to the office.
I am helpless. In my family, abortion is forbidden. I don’t want to die.
Please help me post this, if there’s anyone who can take care of me — be it a man or a woman. When the child is born, I can leave or stay and work for the person. I used to make beads, but he asked me to stop, and since then, I haven’t been doing anything.
I am just 36 years old, and I’m still beautiful and hardworking — even with the pregnancy. Please post this for me.
Adefemi Taiwo Damilola
Adeyeri Opeyemi Damilola Taiwo
