AZHAN-diskus

30/04/2020

. MEN SHOULD PREPARE THEMSELVES TO HANDLE WOMEN WHO ARE OVER 40

When some Women turn 40 or 50 years, something major shifts in their personality.

They become bolder, more rebellious, more religious, more focused, more opinionated and more emphatic about what they want.

Don’t be surprised when a previously obedient and submissive Woman on turning 40/50 changes completely.
Most especially when she had given birth to Children.

At this age, she may not go with the flow anymore, she may begin to ask some questions :
- Is s*x food?
- Query some of your instructions
- Even the way you behave.

She will also become more outspoken and will not be afraid to speak her mind.

If care is not taken, you may have to do for yourself :
- Dry cleaning
- Preparing food to eat
Because it might take her more time before she responds to your request.

There is something definitely special about turning 40/50 for Women.

If she has never challenged or questioned your instructions, get ready to be shocked by her boldness and confrontational attitude.

The only way to avoid total breakdown of Peace and Harmony in the home is for Men to become fair, objective and reasonable in their approaches to issues at home and/or at work.

Men should bear in mind that at this age, Women also harbour lots of regrets about the decisions they have made in life so far ...
Their Husbands may be one of them!

A woman at this age is a better Judge of character and will evaluate a Man using very different & weird parameters.

Men must start on time to prepare for this phase in the lives of their Wives/Partners/Bosses/Subordinates.

What you put in is what you get!

If you have treated her fairly, then you don’t have anything to worry about.
She will begin to appreciate you better if for any reason she didn’t do so in the past.

On the contrary if you haven’t been nice to her, fasten your seatbelt, the ride is about to get pretty bumpy.

A Woman doesn’t forget those who hurt her, and by her actions and utterances you will know that she is out to show you that she is no longer that little girl you married..

01/12/2019

NEVER ARGUE WITH YOUR HUSBAND.

Avoid arguments. An argument is a fire in the house.

Extinguish it with a simple 'I'm sorry' even if it is not your fault. When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Below is a very good story which provides a beautiful example of tolerance and patience which is essential for any successful marriage.

A man and woman had been married for more than 50 years. They shared everything. and kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her
about.

For all of these years, he never thought about the shoebox, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the shoebox.

When he opened it, he found two hand made dolls and a bag of money totalling $20,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and make a doll." The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the shoebox.

She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money?

Where did it come from?" "Oh," the little old woman said, "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."

01/12/2019

. 🤣🤣🤣
Mace ba'a taba yi mata kishiya ta kirki.
1) In ka auro Ustaziya, tace: Munafukan gari, Allah a baki, sharri a zuci, in ko ka auro 'yar gayu tace ta fitsare kafa, ba tada kamun kai.
2) In ka auro mai kyau tace kyalkyal banza, ka auro mara kyau tace an cuce ka.
3) In ka auro fara tace Sadaka Yalla ko Hasken Ambi, in baka ce tace Bayan Tukunya.
4) Ka auro daga danginta tace kana son bata zumunta, in kaje wani gun tace Tsintattar Mage.
5) Ka auro 'yar makota, tace wadda ta gama sanin sirrimmu?, in kaje nesa tace baa san asalinta ba.
6) In ka auro babba, tace an kwaso kwashi kwaraf, in ko karama tace girma ya fadi.
7) In ka auro kawarta, tace duk matan duniya?, don cin fuska da cin amana?, in ko ka auri 'yar aikin gidan, tace Tir !, wai iyakar wulakanci ke nan, kuma baka da taste.
8) Ka auro 'yar manya tace: Kuda wajen kwadayi akan mutu, in 'yar talakawa ka auro tace: Allazi Wahidin, Allah baku mu samu.
9) In ka auri 'yar amininka tace: Tsohon Banza, yau Baba ya koma Bobo, in ko abokiyar aikinka a ofis ka auro, sai tace: Abin boye ya fito fili.
10) In ka auro mai abin hannunta, sai tace: Kano Jiddah ko 'yar Dubai, in ko ba mai sana'a bace, tace an kwaso cima zaune.
11) In ka auro 'yar malamai tace asirce ka aka yi ba yinka bane, in ko 'yar bata da karatu, sai tace gidansu ko sallah baa iya ba.
12) In ka auro daga danginka, tace ana son a hade kai a ware ta, in kuwa bazawara ka auro, sai tace: In kaga godiya da sirdi, to wani ta kayar kuma wani mai gigi zata sake kayarwa..
Yaushe kenan zaa auro kishiya ta kirki?
WAI MATA ME YA SA BA KU SON KISHIYA NE?

30/11/2019

HOW TO AVOID EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

Even if you are married to the best spouse in the whole world, if you do not guard your heart, you may end up "falling in love" with someone aside your spouse and eventually ruin your marriage.

No one gets married and plan to have affair but lots of married men and women are into affairs today because they slept when they should have been wide awake with their five senses alert.

1. Don't be too friendly with the opposite s*x. This is where lots of married people land in trouble. Over spirituality and pride will destroy your marriage! You can't handle close friendship with the opposite s*x as a married person. Your heart is involved. Set boundaries. Be disciplined. Be cordial. Be respectful. Be godly.

2. Don't share your personal problems with an opposite s*x friend. It will bond you together. Problems bond people.

3. Don't contact any opposite s*x you are fond of. If you secretly admire them, you are fond of them and their is a tingling in your heart at the mere thought of them, don't contact!

4. Avoid unnecessary eye contact that lingers with the opposite s*x. In Islam Quran commands men to not stare at women and to not be promiscuous. The Quran 24:31 obliges men to observe modesty: “Say to the believing men that they restrain their eyes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely, God is well aware of what they do.”

5. Don't tell an opposite s*x you are romantic or s*xy, that private information is for your spouse only.

6. Avoid discussions with the opposite s*x when you are tired, very sad, depressed, sorrowful, drowsy, sleepy or very sick. This can cloud your judgment and make you say silly things. Talk to your husband/wife instead.

7. Avoid unnecessary compliment of the opposite s*x.

8. Stop saying "I love you" to the opposite s*x, for what?
I love you means that you are happy to have them in your life, because they make you happy, they make you feel peaceful, they make you feel content. It means that you would do almost anything to make them happy, to solve their problems, to see them laugh, or smile, to have their back, to be their confidante
9. Work on your marriage. Keep the fire of love and romance alive in your marriage!

10. Protect your family. Don't share your marital problem with your opposite s*x friend, it will bond you.

11.Never flirt with the opposite s*x.

12. Mind the pictures you post on the social media. Limit pictures that show your curves or portray you as s*xy.

13. Do not contact all your EX after marriage.

15. Stop focusing on your spouse's weaknesses and appreciate their strengths. If you always see the bad side of your spouse, you will be angry, bitter, critical and look for someone who can "understand" you and make you happy aside your spouse, that is the beginning of an emotional affair and eventual s*xual affair. It is the beginning of the end of a once glorious marriage!

FLEE from all appearance of evil is what the Holy books says.

What you will not eat, don't bring it to your nose, don't smell it!

Don't start what you cannot finish!

Avoid all emotional and s*xual affairs, they will destroy your marriage! May Allahu Subhan'ahu wata'Allah guide us

31/08/2019

PRACTICAL METHODS FOR SOLVING MARITAL ISSUES.


Both spouses should have a realistic view of marital troubles, because, if tackled correctly, they may be a factor in enhancing dialogue and understanding. Marital discord can either be solved or made further complicated, according to the way the couple chooses to deal with it.

Necessary Rules

It is important to remember that uttering bad words and using abusive language in the course of an argument, has an undoubtedly negative effect that lasts even after the problem is over. Furthermore, it causes emotional wounds and distress that accumulates in the heart. Conversely, remaining silent instead of discussing a problem is also a negative and temporary solution, as it later leads to unexplained sudden and violent outbursts over trivial matters. Hence, repressing feelings is the beginning of psychological complications and gives rise to impatience.

Therefore, either a person should pretend to forget the problem, overlook it and voluntarily forgive the other party or the problem must be tackled. In doing the latter, the solution should address whatever troubles one’s soul and be applied with satisfaction and willingness. Both spouses should avoid any outcome that instigates feelings of victory or defeat in either one, as this only serves to deepen the rift. For example, they should avoid mockery, denial and rejection, and insistence on winning.

Further, one should watch his or her speech; ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn, may Allah be pleased with them, reported: “The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) was never unseemly or lewd in his language; he used to say, ‘The best among you are those who have the best morals.’” [Al-Bukhari]

‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, also relates that some Jews came to the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), and said, "As-saamu 'alaika (death be on you)”. So, she says she replied: "‘Alaikum as-saamu (death be on you); and may Allah curse you and inflict His wrath on you." The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), said to her: "O 'Aa’ishah, take it easy and be moderate; beware of violence and obscene language."She asked:"Did you not hear what they said?"The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), replied: "Well, have not you heard what I said? I responded to them [by only saying ‘and to you’]; and my supplication against them will be accepted while theirs against me will not."[Al-Bukhari]

That illustrates why, when ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asked about the morals of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), she said: “The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) was never rude or indecent, nor was he loud-voiced in the streets, nor did he return evil for evil, but he would forgive and pardon.” [At-Tirmithi]

Another witness to his character is Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, who said, “I served the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) for ten years and he never blamed me for doing anything or questioned me about something that I did not do.” [Ahmad]

Indeed, we are warned by the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), from being “the worst person in the Sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment”; that is“one who is avoided by people because of his evil.” [Al-Bukhari]

Comprehending the impact of the problem on both parties

There is no doubt that women, especially those who are more sensitive, become confused, unsettled and worried when they have problems with those they love and appreciate.

Moreover, a relationship can be completely damaged because of it, as is the case when, for instance, one of the spouses feels superior to the other in terms of status, property, beauty or culture. Indeed, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), said: “Haughtiness is arrogant denial of the truth and contempt for people.”[Muslim]

The solution must only be decided after the issue has been carefully examined. Otherwise, a husband, for example, would say something, then change his opinion over someone’s interference or resort to quibbling even though he knows he is wrong.

Steps to solve marital problems

1. There must be an attempt to discover whether the problem stems from a disagreement or a misunderstanding. Each of the spouses must express his or her version of the problem and feelings regarding it. This should be done in a direct and clear manner that eliminates any probable misunderstanding, as sometimes that is all there is to what is assumed to be a serious disagreement.
2. Every person must call his or her own self to account and realize how greatly negligent he or she is toward Allah The Almighty. In this way, other’s infringements on his or her right would seem trivial.
3. It must be remembered that tribulations in life occur because of one’s sins and having problems with those a person loves, is considered an affliction. Muhammad ibn Seereen may Allah have mercy upon him said, “I could see the effect of my sins in the behavior of my wife and also, in my animal companion.”
4. Marital discord must never be disclosed to the public and kept among those it concerns, i.e., the spouses.
5. One of the errors in resolving a problem is referring to previous mistakes of either spouse, as that only widens the scope of the conflict. The trigger of the disagreement must be defined and focused on.
6. Each of the partners should talk about the issue from his or her own point of view, without considering his or her understanding to be infallible or an uncontested fact, as that will destroy any chances to solve the problem.
7. It is better to initiate a discussion with common points of agreement along with its benefits because this softens the heart, drives the devil away, draws both viewpoints closer and encourages both parties to offer concessions; Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And do not forget graciousness between you.} [Quran 2:237] If one of them, for instance, says to the other: “I have not forgotten your favor in such-and-such or your positive qualities. And, I can never deny whatever we see eye to eye on”; this would generate an atmosphere of willing compromise.
8. It is also imperative to not focus on one’s own rights, exaggerating them or demanding what is not due of others, especially while overlooking one’s responsibilities and duties toward others.
9. A person must also be able to admit a mistake he or she realizes has been made by him or her, without contention. Both parties should have the courage and self-esteem to do this. When either spouse has admitted to a mistake, the other must praise him or her for that and not persist in what is wrong. More importantly, this admission of guilt must not be used as leverage, but rather be counted as one of the other’s merits that should be added to his or her record of good deeds and virtues, which must be cited.
10. Some inherent female qualities, such as protectiveness, must also be handled delicately and patiently. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), even described how one of his wives once felt, by saying: “Your mother felt jealous.”[Al-Bukhari] We should follow the example of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ), who would take into account the circumstances surrounding an incident and people’s temperaments and other factors that are beyond one’s control. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, narrates: “I have never seen a cook like Safiyyah. She sent the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) a container of food as a present; I could not contain myself and I broke it. I asked the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) about the expiation of this. He [understandingly] said, ‘A container for a container and food for food.’” [Abu Daawood and An-Nasaa’i]
11. It is also of utmost importance to be satisfied with what Allah The Almighty has bestowed on everyone. If the wife notices anything good in her husband, she has to praise Allah The Almighty and if she finds otherwise, she must realize that faults are not particular to only him. On the other hand, the husband should know he is not alone in facing marital problems.
12. The husband should not hasten to solve a crisis in a fit of rage. He should wait until he calms down because any solution reached when angry, is usually far from being right.
13. There must be an ability in both parties to accede to forfeiting some of their demands as a problem cannot be resolved if every party insists on retaining every one of his or her rights. There must be room for adaptability to varying circumstances and conditions.
14. Each of the spouses should be calm and never reckless or hurried. They should neither display boredom or annoyance. A good atmosphere is one of composure and deliberation to have a positive overview of the problem.
15. Both spouses should be aware and know for certain that money is not the cause of happiness and that success does not result from living in palaces and having servants. True success lies in leading a tranquil life that is free from worry and greed.
16. Nothing can emphasize enough the importance of overlooking minor slips and unintentional mistakes on either part.

10/01/2019

WIVES ARE MATES.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Women are vital to the very existence of all humans. After all, men are born from women, not the other way around. Allah the Majestic tells us in the Quran that He has created both men and women, all from a single person, Adam, peace and blessings be upon him. From Adam, Allah created his mate (Eve) and from these two Allah brought forth many men and many women.

Allah also tells us he created us all from a single soul and from him, brought forth his mate and from these two He created many tribes and nations and made us all different so that we might recognize one another.

Wives in Islam are considered mates to their "other half." The prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) taught his followers to get married and fulfill and complete the "other half" of their religion or way of life. Marriage is considered a complimenting of two halves to each other in Islam. These teachings seemed strange to the revealing attitude toward women at that time.

At a time when the rest of the world, from Greece and Rome to India and China, considered women as no better than children or even slaves, with no rights whatsoever, Islam acknowledged women's equality with men in a great many respects. The Quran states:

"And among His signs is this: that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest and peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Certainly, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]

Prophet Muhammad said:

"The most perfect in faith amongst believers is he who is best in manners and kindest to his wife." [Source: Sunnan of Abu Dawud]

Muslims believe that Adam and Eve were created from the same soul. Both were equally guilty of their sin and fall from grace, and Allah forgave both. Many women in Islam have had high status; consider the fact that the first person to convert to Islam was Khadijah, the wife of Muhammad, whom he both loved and respected. His favorite wife after Khadijah's death, Ayshah, became renowned as a scholar and one of the greatest sources of Hadith literature. Many of the female Companions accomplished great deeds and achieved fame, and throughout Islamic history there have been famous and influential scholars and jurists.

We might also mention that while many in the West criticize Islam with regard to the treatment of women, in fact a number of Muslim countries have had women rulers and presidents. To name a few: Turkey; Bangladesh and Pakistan.

With regard to education, both women and men have the same rights and obligations. This is clear in Prophet Muhammad's saying:

"Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every believer." [Hadith (saying of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) collected by Ibn Majah] This implies men and women.

A woman is to be treated as God has endowed her, with rights, such as to be treated as an individual, with the right to own and dispose of her own property and earnings, enter into contracts, even after marriage. She has the right to be educated and to work outside the home if she so chooses. She has the right to inherit from her father, mother, and husband. A very interesting point to note is that in Islam, unlike any other religion, a woman can be an imam, a leader of communal prayer, for a group of women.

A Muslim woman also has obligations. All the laws and regulations pertaining to prayer, fasting, charity, pilgrimage, doing good deeds, etc., apply to women, albeit with minor differences having mainly to do with female physiology.

Before marriage, a woman has the right to choose her husband. Islamic law is very strict regarding the necessity of having the woman's consent for marriage. The groom gives a marriage dowry to the bride for her own personal use. She keeps her own family name, rather than taking her husband's. As a wife, a woman has the right to be supported by her husband even if she is already rich. She also has the right to seek divorce and custody of young children. She does not return the dowry, except in a few unusual situations.

Despite the fact that in many places and times some Muslims have not always adhered to all or even many of the foregoing in practice, the ideal has been there for 1,400 years, while virtually all other major civilizations did not begin to address these issues or change their negative attitudes until the 19th and 20th centuries, and there are still many contemporary civilizations which have yet to do so.

The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered his companions never to mistreat their wives. He scolded them and admonished them, saying "How could you treat them like animals in the day and then want to be intimate with them at night."

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said it all in a simple sentence, "The best of you are the best to their wives; and I am the best to my wives."

(COPIED)
AZHANdiskuss.

02/11/2018

WHY YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE MAN WHO 'ONLY THINKS HE LOVES YOU'.

When you’re young you think love is easy, that your expression of this complex and overwhelming feeling will be found often and shared frequently. What you learn when you’re older is that love is rarely black and white. People can love you in the “I’m not in love with you” kind-of-way, they can be on the verge of loving you, or the worst: they can express to you that they only think they love you.

What does that mean? This person you cherish has obviously put some time and thought into their affections for you and they have failed to come to any kind of concrete conclusion.

I think I love you. I think I want Thai for dinner. I think I’d like a new haircut. One of these does not belong. Sure, adulthood is naturally a trial and error type of gig, but the expression of almost-quasi-love shouldn’t be uttered from his lips at any age. So what are you to do when your feelings of adoration are (sort of) unrequited? You leave.

Aside from the humiliation of being the most vulnerable member in a relationship, you have yourself to worry about, and loving someone with one foot on the ground isn’t going to make you happy. It can be hard to walk away, even when you know they don’t love you in the way that you deserve.

You become haunted by not fulfilling the plans you’ve had for yourself. The trajectory of your life isn’t quite lining up in the way you had hoped. If you walk away you’ll just be another 20-something single girl that has to pretend to be happy for all of her friends who are settling down. I promise you this is okay.

A strong woman doesn’t stay with a man who can’t fully commit, or at least she shouldn’t. The dichotomy of your relationship will always be on an uneven keel. You will grow impatient with his cavalier demeanor and he will harbor resentment if you demand a true testament of love. The man who only thinks he loves you is using you as a place holder, Sure, he’d be okay if he ended up with you, he’d likely even be happy, but in this interim he’s going to be triple-checking his options to make sure there’s not some other cool girl he’s missed out on. Take my advice: if your guy is on the fence about his love for you, run—don’t walk—away, and I think you’ll be glad to never look back.
AZHAN.

22/10/2018

Subhanallah

20/10/2018

20/06/2018

May Allah grant us the best of spouses.

20/06/2018

16/06/2018

BREAKUPS- The Loss or The Journey .

Break-ups…yeah, we’ve all been there. They’re the worst. Literally, the worst. You cry for days, maybe weeks, you eat your way through all the ice cream in the freezer all while watching sappy rom-coms. Well, at least that’s what break-ups seem like, right?

Break-ups usually happen for a reason—things just weren’t working. You had different future goals, you couldn’t stand his family, she didn’t support your dreams, you couldn’t trust him, or maybe you were just bored. Regardless of the reason, losing the person you shared your life with isn’t an easy feat.

Along with losing a partner, people so often lose themselves while in relationships. Whether losing hope, your friends, or losing sight of what you wanted, being with the wrong person can strip you of the things that make you, you. If the relationship was long-term, or an unhealthy one, coming back from the disaster you once called your “relationship” can be particularly difficult—or maybe not…

What if break-ups were different? What if break-ups were actually a good thing? There is such a negative connotation associated with break-ups, but things can be different. What if, rather than focusing on the loss, you focused on what you’ve gained? What if focusing on the positive aspects of a break-up can help you heal? What if focusing on the journey can help you move forward? You can change that…

Consider these 10 positive things on your break ups-

Perspective -

The break-up journey is all about perspective. It’s possible that what you lost wasn’t meant for you, so let it go. Cut your losses and focus on a healthy recovery. Walk away from the doors that have been shut and open your heart to the new opportunities you will be provided.

Remember: everything happens for a reason.

Freedom-

Break-ups can be freeingand should be seen an opportunity to grow—an opportunity to nurture your soul and create an even stronger version of yourself. Take advantage of this solo time, and truly embrace living life for you and only you.

Find yourself-

As I mentioned before, we sometimes get lost in our relationships. Take the time to rediscover who you are. Learn to have fun again. Remember what it’s like to live without the negative emotions that come with an unhealthy relationship. Rediscover your passions, embark on new adventures, and open your heart for the love that you deserve.

Love yourself-

Love comes in all shapes and sizes, but the most valuable love is self-love. Once you can fully, completely, and unconditionally love yourself, maybe then you’ll feel ready to welcome in new love…

Take your power back-

One of the things sometimes lost in a relationship is power. This can be the most disheartening loss because along with power comes your voice. Don’t allow anyone to treat you poorly. Demand respect and kindness from others. Remember that you are valued, and you deserve to be heard. Take your power back.

Lessons learned-

Break-ups can be painful, so be sure to value the lessons learned from that pain. Discover what caused that pain, and what red flags were associated. Once you have that down, you’ll know how to avoid it in the future. This can save you from a great deal of future heartbreak…

Consider your needs-

Think of what you want and what you are looking for in a future partner. We learn what we want by trial and error, so consider what it is that you need to be happy and fulfilled in a relationship. At this point, you should definitely know what you don’t want, so take note of that.

Reconnect with your loved ones-

Rekindle your friendships. Spend time with your family. Reconnect with your social network and allow them to support you in your time of need. There’s nothing better than having the people you love most by your side to make you smile…

Explore-

Take this time to explore yourself and explore the world around you. Relationships can sometimes trap us in a tiny box of unpleasant expectations and monotony. Utilize your post break-up time to break free of the tedious lifestyle you once lived and seek safe experiences with little to no boundaries. Embrace your freedom and do things that will make you feel alive. The world is your oyster, so take a bite…

Remember your strength-

If you can make it through a sh*tty relationship, you can make it through anything. Remember how strong you are—remember how much you can and havealready accomplished—remember what makes you so incredible and so special. Remember what makes you, you.