03/10/2025
MY MARRIAGE ENDED, I LOST MY DAD, I LOST MY DAD'S SISTER, I LOST MY STEP MUM IN THE SPACE OF 24 MONTHS - PASTOR TOLU ODUKOYA
I’ll say I’m separated. It was circumstances beyond my control. You know, sometimes, when you get into a marriage, you do not get into the marriage to leave the marriage. When your marriage is over, it’s a death. So I experienced a couple of d£aths: the death of my marriage, the d£ath of my stepmum, the death of my dad’s sister, and then the d££ath of my father. And all these happened in the course of 24 months between 2021 and 2023. My ex-husband is a great man, but sometimes I just feel like, if God doesn’t ordain you both to be together, and you force-fit yourself, then the likelihood of you both staying together is very low. If you both are going on two different paths in life, it’s not particularly that the person is bad. They are good people, but not just good for you. I was a good person, but I was not good for him. He was a good person, but he was not good for me. To see all that come to an end the way it did. It really shaped my heart. My heart was very broken. So that happened in 2021; I was very broken by that. Everyone I mentioned died because of sickness. And when somebody dies because of sickness, you see them, deteriorate. We were praying. And sometimes we believe that because we’ve prayed, God must answer. But, yeah, God will answer, but that might not be the answer you are asking for. My life has not been an easy one. It’s not gone the way I planned it. Because I had plans and visions; I could see where I wanted my life to go. But I tell you now what is happening in my life now, I did not see it coming. So when you are no longer in your marriage, you don’t want to come out and say you are an associate pastor; you just want to hide somewhere. You just want to hide somewhere and be like, let me just hide here and try to figure out my life small small and let God be helping me. And so when I was called to be an associate pastor, I was like, hey God, you know all the wahala and baggage; I don’t even know it; I can’t figure out my life. But if you’ve called me to serve, maybe you’ve put something in me, and I’ll trust you to say yes. I’m not gonna say yes because I have it all together, because I know I don’t have it all together, but if you choose to call me like that, and I know you are the all-knowing God, then I trust you enough to walk on water. During all these, God really blessed me with my siblings. My siblings stood by me till the end. My dad fought for me. You know, as a pastor’s kid, when you go through situations like this, your family might feel you should stay in the marriage because of what people will say, but my family were like, no, it’s okay; you made a mistake; come back home; let’s figure it out; God will help us. And that encouragement added to my self-esteem.
My family never made me feel like oh my mum preached about marriage, my dad is a pastor so I must stay in the marriage, No they embraced me and welcomed me back and told me we'll work together to correct the mistake.
Don't die in a place because of what people will say. People will always talk and people will move on
