11/10/2025
I wrote this piece back in 2019, yet every word still speaks volumes today. 💖
It’s a reminder that the girl-child is not a mistake, not a burden, and definitely not less.
She’s UNscripted. UNstoppable. Unapologetically powerful.
Today, I celebrate every girl breaking stereotypes, finding her voice, and rewriting her story. 🌍✨
UNscripted And UNstoppable
"If only this one would turn out to be a boy, my father's name wouldn't end with me"
"And have my assets willed to my brother? Hell no!"
"I have never thought of a second wife, but I've got no option than to take that into consideration. Time's no longer on my side Mama"
"Ah mama! We're trying. _O kwa nu chukwu n'enye nwa_ (It is God that gives Children)
"He's not spoken to me since we came back from the ultrasound. His demeanor is so irate"
"My dear, I feel his affection no more"
"He offers no help since he got to know the s*x of the child"
"I'd rather have the womb shut o!"
"Nke m a ga dizi iche?_ (will my own be different?). Mama Nkechi has offered to take me to a very potent herbalist. I believe this time around, it would be a male child"
And so the lamentation, agony and need for a male-child goes on and on and on. Such can be heard and seen in a typical African home where there are girl-child lined up, but no man to carry on the father's name and legacy (as always been percieved).
The girl-child is believed to be married off to some man later in adulthood, and in some ethnic groups, as a child or teenager.
So if there's no male child, the father's name dies with him. And so the quest and for a male child continues in such homes. Often times, causing disharmony and cutting of ties with the extended family, who supposedly mounts pressure on the couple for the need of a male-child. Husband becomes unaffectionate towards wife and never comes in handy in anyway even up to the 9th month of the wife's pregnancy. Wife feels incomplete and probably blames her late grandmother or her "village people" for her supposed predicament.
And so the girls are "under-cared" for, potentials undermined, and projected to the society as Unwanted and gradually by gradually, it takes a deep toll on them, low self-esteem sets in, it's man's world becomes the propellant towards letting go of their dreams and aspirations. Dreaming big becomes a taboo, cos where can such dreams be expressed? Whatever anyone says goes, "let's just do it your own way", she says, just to back out from an argument she most probably has got more grounds on. So intimidated.
"Yes" becomes a mantra to even things and situations that may put her under duress. Easily bullied. The Girl-child. Stopped in a minute, wooed in a sec by every Dick and Harry, seemingly because there was no father's love.
"He loves me", so says even when a punching bag's been made out of her. She rather stay and endure those batteries and abuses, just to be called beautiful or be given a token after an hour or two behind closed doors. And so she sells herself short.
The Girl-child...Sometimes denied of a formal education and implored to learn more of house-keeping as there is no other place for her other than the kitchen and "the other room". In situations where funds for upkeep ain't available no more, they are sent out to the "rich people" homes as house helps, and if they are unlucky enough, to the inhumane ones who confines them to an old-rickety part of the house for spilling a cup of water or starved for a few more days for attempting to eat the dog's food, out of hunger.
A lot becomes of the Girl-child. Some are married off to older men who are deemed fit by the parents to cater for their immediate needs and what becomes of their daughters, is nothing to concern themselves with. In the supposed husband's home, I can not begin to encapsulate the next phase of their lives. Traumas of different sort never erodes them. They become an embodiment of "Self-destruction"...bitter towards the society and of what becomes her offsprings?
How many parents would really sit and watch all these become of their girl-child? But then, they are sent out with warm hugs to their dooms in such a whirlwind of ignorance, negligence, personal needs, societal-pressures and stereoptypic mindsets, that they lose sight of the number one ingredient for a good home and Nation. It is not a cliché when it's being said "Train a boy, you train a family, but a woman, you train a Nation".
Time has come for the relevance of the girl-child to a dying world not to be undermined no more and be acknowledged as the key to sustainable development. The girl-child is human just as the male-child. They are embodiment of generations yet unknown. There's no need doubting the fact that the problems and vices encountered in our present world, have it's origin from the Family.
Yes, environmental factors may play one or two roles, but if the girl-child is well nurtured, taught the very essence of humanity, whatever the society they may find themselves in, throws at them, they return it like Serena! They take charge of their world and visualize themselves killing it at every step of the way.
Dreams wouldn't just turn into nightmares, but achievable ones.
Negative cultural practices that sells the girl-child short, when taken into consideration can be changed by working on the mindsets of both parents and girls through enlightenment programs.
Parents would take it upon themselves to make sure that the first sense of self-esteem their girl-child felt, comes from them. How would they believe or know if no one at home believes or tells them?
This is the period where the child's malleable, builds and develops her personality and character. I call it the "Critical Period", because shemodels her behavior through observation, repetition and imitations.
Parents and the society at large should be wary as to what they are fed with. Those are the factors that shapes her mindset and builds her self-esteem. If only the parents calls her beautiful. If only she believes she's beautiful. She wouldn't lay her guards down at the mere mention of _"you're beautiful"_, by wolves in sheep clothing, but take it as a compliment and as such, she wouldn't sound sarcastic when she responds with, "I know" or "So I've heard".
They should be thought that they are worthy of love.
Gender based violence should be appropriately dealt with.
Stereotypic impediments should be cleaved.
Environments where a safe and healthy childhood can be actualized should be created, not just by the government but the society.
The Girl-child is worthy of love
She's got right to a desired future
She's got a say as to how her life turns out
She's no dumping ground for ills and vices evolving her environment
She's not amoral
The Girl-child is Unscripted
She's Unstoppable
She's a fighter
A Home maker
A Nation builder
A Peacemaker
Her proceeds are immeasurable and the glory she brings, Divine.
She's fully aware of her rights and succumbs not to the dictates of unreasonable men.
She's devised a mischief detector tech...
Mounted them in different parts of her body.
She sees mischief, hears mischief, smells mischief, tastes mischief, feels mischief...for who they are
So, Mr Mischief, when next you try to be mischievous on the girl-child, beware of laser beams. They cut likes of you open!
The Girl-child...Unscripted and Unstoppable!
