22/08/2026
BEFORE I CONTINUE THIS STORY, LET ME SHAMELESSLY LIST MY MISTAKES.
Maybe someone reading this will see herself in my story and make a different decision before it's too late.
I met this man on Facebook in 2017.
He presented himself to me as a born-again Christian, and I trusted him completely.
I made one of my biggest mistakes very early: I disclosed my financial situation and income to him.
I was even the one who paid my way to meet him for the first time.
And during that first meeting, I discovered some things he had told me were not exactly what I believed them to be.
For example, I discovered discrepancies about his claimed employment and the house he presented as his.
I should have walked away.
I didn't.
I forgave him and continued the relationship.
Looking back now, I can see how many red flags I explained away because I was already emotionally invested.
I sent him money to come and visit me in Uyo.
I financed our introduction.
I financed our traditional wedding.
I paid my bride price with my own money.
I even turned my back on my family because of this man.
Then came the wedding.
I practically financed it single-handedly.
I handed over my business—the same business that was making me the money I used to take care of everything—to his niece, Eucharia.
That decision badly affected the business.
I contributed money towards his car.
I sponsored his education at NOUN so he could obtain his LLB.
Inside the marriage, I carried most of the financial responsibilities.
Rent.
Food.
Bills.
Hospital expenses.
And even the smallest things you can imagine.
When I had my two children through Caesarean section, I paid the hospital bills.
I even gave him ₦100,000 to sign the necessary CS papers and be present when I had my daughter and my late son.
I financed the naming ceremonies and child dedication of our children.
I even paid for him to attend his own child's dedication.
And today, after the divorce, I am still the one single-handedly raising my daughter.
When I look back, I don't only ask myself, “How could he do these things?”
I also ask myself:
“Why did I keep giving when the signs were already there?”
That is the part of this story I want women to learn from.
Love can make you ignore things that common sense would never allow you to ignore.
Faith can make you believe someone is good simply because they know how to speak the language of faith.
And desperation to make a relationship work can make you keep investing in something that is already costing you your peace, your family, your business and your future.
I made mistakes. Many of them.
But I am sharing them because if even ONE young woman reads this and decides to slow down, investigate properly, protect her finances and stop ignoring red flags, then perhaps my painful experience will not be completely wasted.
Dear young woman, love deeply, but don't switch off your brain because you are in love.
Don't hand over your finances, business, family and future to someone simply because they say the right things.
And please…
never confuse a person's religious appearance with proof of good character.
This is only the beginning of the story.
There is much more I haven't told you yet.
