03/07/2025
Title: The Carrot Confusion: Gbola Wey Hide for Market Sack.
E be like joke, e be like play.
Na for early morning breeze the story begin, for one corner of Mile 12 market where sun never fully show face and traders dey arrange their goods like say dem dey prepare for war. Among them na Mama Ifeoma, the carrot madam of the East, wey her stall dey shine with orange glory. Her carrots no dey ordinary — them dey long, straight, and fresh like wetin just return from UK.
But na wetin happen on one Wednesday morning wey scatter everywhere
Chapter 1: The Discovery
Kazeem, the young agbero wey dey help offload sacks, drag one heavy bag come from the back of one white DAF truck. The sack tough like bouncer. As he drop am, e burst small and one carrot roll commot — but this carrot no be normal.
The carrot get muscle.
Long. Bold. With veins like small snake dey crawl for body. The shape dey too suspicious. Kazeem pause. He pick am. He look am. He turn left. He turn right.
“Ah-ah,” he muttered. “Who don sneak gbola enter vegetable sack?”
Before you fit say “jollof”, two tomato sellers don peep. One whisper, “Abeg gimme make I see am well.” She collect am. Na so she burst laugh.
“Na lie! This carrot na pure gbola!”
Market scatter.
Chapter 2: Viral Vegetable
Within 10 minutes, the carrot don go viral — not online, but for mouth-to-mouth update. Everybody dey pass the “legendary carrot” like sacred staff. Women dey giggle, men dey cough, even one Reverend Sister wey come buy onions look am twice before she shift her face say, “Tufiakwa!”
Mama Ifeoma return from short waka and see crowd near her stall.
“Wetin happen?” she ask.
Na then one girl raise the carrot for air like Lion King.
“Mama! See wetin your farm produce! Wetin you dey water am with?!”
Mama Ifeoma wipe sweat. She look the carrot. She clear throat.
“My pikin… I dey use goat poo and miracle water from Abakaliki.”
Everybody burst laugh.
Chapter 3: Suspicion and Seduction
Later that evening, word reach Baba Nduka, the herbalist wey believe say signs no dey happen for nothing.
He come market.
“Bring me the gbola carrot,” he command like say na prophecy.
Dem give am. He hold am like sacred relic.
“Hmmm,” he say slowly, like Oracle dey whisper for ear. “Dis no be ordinary root. This one carry power. Whoever hold am by midnight go dream wetin go change destiny.”
People fear.
But that night, Anita — the fine girl wey dey sell boiled corn — sneak go hide the carrot for nylon and carry am house.
Chapter 4: The Dream
Anita lie down for bed that night with fan blow her like say she be celebrity for music video. She no sleep fully when dream enter like film.
She see herself inside mansion — fine cloth, gold spoon, AC dey blow carrot soup for pot. Then one man with voice like Burna Boy whisper for her ear, “Protect the gbola carrot. E go choose king for this land.”
She wake up. Body dey sweat. Carrot still dey for under pillow.
She know say life don change.
Chapter 5: The Twist
Next morning, Anita return to market with shades like celeb. She no sell corn again. She start “Carrot Ministry of Fire & Fruitfulness”. Women queue. She dey touch forehead with the carrot like anointing wand.
Testimonies begin fly.
“My husband no dey gree touch me before… now e no dey let me rest.”
“My pikin dey chop food now. Thank you, Sister Anita and gbola carrot.”
But wahala dey near corner.
Baba Nduka vex say power wey supposed reach shrine don turn crusade item.
He swear say unless the carrot return to ancestral pot, Mile 12 go see pepper.
Chapter 6: Final Showdown
Na Saturday morning e happen.
Baba Nduka enter market with red wrapper, cow tail, and two dwarfs. Anita meet am with long gown and carrot held high like Thor’s hammer.
Crowd dey watch. Tension full air.
Suddenly rain begin fall — but only on top the carrot.
Everybody shout.
The carrot vibrate. E fall from Anita hand. Land for ground. Burst open.
Inside am na small scroll wey write:
"Beware of resemblance. Not all roots are for soup."
Lightning strike. Rain stop.
The carrot melt.
Epilogue
Since that day, nobody dey look carrot the same again for market.
Some dey chop am with respect. Others dey avoid am.
But deep inside, all of us sabi say that week, one carrot shook Nigeria — and maybe, just maybe, the gbola resemblance no be accident… but divine confusion.
゚viralシfypシ゚,
