31/10/2025
Hello Sir, I don’t even know how to start this. I feel sick just typing it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost ten years. We met in SHS, fell in love, and built a life together. We have two beautiful children. Everyone who knows us thinks we’re that perfect young couple who made it the kind people look at and say, “They really went through everything and stayed together.”
I thought the same too… until recently.
When we first started dating, he was very protective, almost too much. He didn’t like me wearing short dresses, he’d question me about makeup, and even my male friends became a problem. At the time, I thought it was jealousy, maybe love mixed with immaturity. But as the years went by, he calmed down. Especially after our engagement and when we had our first baby. I remember thinking, “Finally, he’s matured.” These past few years, things have been good. He’s been my biggest supporter always complimenting me, hyping me up whenever I dress nicely. Our bond grew stronger after the second baby, even though I was still recovering and exhausted most of the time.
Then last weekend, everything changed.
He suggested we go out, just the two of us to this big event. We hadn’t gone anywhere in a while because of the kids, so I agreed. He even picked my outfit, something really revealing. Normally, he’d never let me wear such a thing, but this time he insisted. I laughed it off and wore it, thinking maybe he was trying to spice things up. But when we got there, I noticed something strange. He was acting… different. He kept encouraging me to dance, to “show off,” even telling random guys nearby, “Look at her, isn’t she beautiful?” He seemed excited watching people look at me. At one point, he even pulled a part of my outfit down, exposing me, right there in the crowd. I was furious. I pulled it back up immediately and told him to stop embarrassing me. He just laughed and said, “Relax, you’re mine. They can only look.”
After that night, something in me felt uneasy.
The next few days, he started acting odd during intimacy too. Sometimes he’d lose his er****on halfway through, something that had never happened before. I asked if something was wrong, and he brushed it off, saying he was tired. But then I noticed something whenever he started saying certain things, like “Imagine if another man was here touching you,” or “What if someone else took you right now?”, that’s when he’d suddenly perform like nothing was wrong.
I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to make it a big issue. I thought maybe he was just experimenting with fantasy talk. Until last night. We were lying in bed when he suddenly said, “Babe, can I tell you something without you getting angry?” I said sure. Then he said the words that shattered me completely, “I want to see you with another man.”
At first, I thought it was a joke. I laughed, but he didn’t. He looked serious, too serious. I asked what he meant, and he said he’s been thinking about it a lot, that it turns him on imagining it, and that he’d want to make it happen one day. I felt like someone had poured ice water on me.
This man, the same one who used to get jealous if another man even texted me was now telling me he wants to watch me sleep with someone else. I didn’t even know what to say. I just sat there, staring at him. Later that night, we ended up having s*x, and he struggled again until he started saying things about another man “joining us.” That’s when he became energetic again, almost aggressive. Afterward, I just lay there quietly, tears in my eyes.
I asked him again if this was just fantasy talk or something he actually wants to happen. He said, “I’ve thought about it, and I really mean it.” I don’t even recognize him anymore.
I keep asking myself, what changed? Is it the stress? Is he cheating and trying to justify it in some twisted way? Or has he just developed a new obsession? Because the man I fell in love with would never say something like this.
Now I feel disgusted, hurt, and confused all at once. I’m still recovering from childbirth. My body isn’t even back to normal, and instead of making me feel loved and secure, he’s planting all these thoughts in my head. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to confront him properly and demand answers. Another part of me just wants to pack my things and go to my mother’s house with the kids until I can think straight. Because how do you even look at the father of your children, the man you thought you’d grow old with after he says something like that? I feel broken. Truly broken, I now get why he's refusing to marry me officially, I am so hurt.
