05/10/2025
🤣🤣🤣Sunday morning in church. Praise and worship in full swing. Music blasting. People dancing. You enter fashionably late, looking confident... at first.
USHER: (whispering) Sister Chigozie, welcome! You’re late again o!
YOU: Shhh. Don’t worry, the Spirit moves in mysterious times.
CHOIR: 🎶 “You are great, yes, you are!” 🎶
YOU: (dancing) Yes Lord! My enemies will see me and fall—
(Your wig, “Queen Shaniqua,” slowly starts sliding to the left.)
CHURCH MOTHER: (squinting) Hmm. Why is that sister’s hair moving like the Holy Spirit touched only one side?
YOU: (not noticing) Hallelujah!
NEIGHBOR: Sister, your blessing is... shifting!
YOU: (confused) Shifting where?
(Wig slides completely off and flies forward.)
CHOIR MASTER: (dodges wig mid-song) BLOOD OF JESUS!
CHOIR: 🎶 “There is pow—ahhhhhh!!!” 🎶
(Choir members scatter like pigeons.)
PASTOR: (shouting from pulpit) Usher! The spirit of distraction is among us! Cast it out before it spreads!
USHER: (holding your wig with two fingers) Pastor, I caught it!
YOU: (mortified) That’s not a spirit, that’s my hair! Give me back Queen Shaniqua!
(You try to grab the wig, trip over your own heel, and land under the communion table.)
CHURCH MOTHER: (fanning you) The devil is working overtime today!
YOU: (muffled from under the table) No ma, it’s just bad glue!
PASTOR: (clears throat) Church, let us end service early before someone’s eyelashes start prophesying.
[Next Sunday...]
USHER: Sister Chigozie! Welcome back. Did Queen Shaniqua come with you today?
YOU: (holding wig in a bag) Not today. She’s still in deliverance😂😂😂
"To be continued on how my wig went viral on tiktok"
