02/07/2025
Part 3: “The Danfo Keynote and Digital Tears”
“If your destiny helper cannot use Zoom, are they really from God?”
Tolu finally gets his big break—he’s invited to speak at the “West Africa Future of Disruption & Tech Summit” in Accra. An email titled:
> “You’ve been selected as a thought leader!”
Lagos Tech Bro almost cried.
He immediately tweets:
> “Africa to the world! ✈️ 🇳🇬 ➡️ 🇬🇭
I’m speaking at .
From Ikorodu to International. God is real.”
He posts a Canva flyer with his head photoshopped between Elon Musk and Tony Elumelu.
Only problem?
He didn’t check his passport expiry date.
At the airport, Tolu is dressed in full drip:
White tech tee with “DISRUPT OR DIE” written boldly
Sunglasses inside terminal
Airport neck pillow for aesthetic
He hands over his passport.
Immigration lady: “Oga, this passport expired last year.”
Tolu: “Ah. Maybe it's a glitch. Check the blockchain.”
The only thing that flew that day? His hope.
But as a tech bro with zero shame and 100% data, he adapts. Quickly tweets:
> “Change of plans. We’re going digital. Keynote will now be LIVE from inside real Lagos innovation—public transportation. ”
Tolu hops on a Danfo heading from CMS. He sets up his phone tripod on the dashboard, ignoring the conductor yelling, “Oga! This one no be TikTok bus o!”
He begins his keynote presentation:
> “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the real Africa. Where power banks are more important than power supply. Where innovation happens at bus stops.”
Midway through his talk, someone behind him shouts,
> “Oga, abeg shift! You dey block breeze!”
But nothing can stop him. He continues:
> “We don’t need Silicon Valley. We have Oshodi. Organized chaos… but data still moves.”
The video goes viral.
Not because of the speech—
But because at minute 6:32, a goat walks past the window.
Tolu becomes a meme overnight.
“Tech Bro Dey Preach Inside Danfo” trends on TikTok.
Someone remixes it into a Fuji beat.
Another girl duets it while applying makeup.
But deep down, Tolu is shattered.
He logs into Twitter, opens his Notes app, and posts one of the most classic lines in Tech Bro history:
> “Sometimes you become the joke before the world understands the genius behind the punchline.”
10k likes.
15k retweets.
One comment: “Oga abeg rest.”
Back in Lagos, Tolu is rebranding. Again.
He’s now building “Clownify”—an AI app that detects when you’re about to embarrass yourself online.
Target market: Nigerian Twitter.
He tests it by typing “Let me shoot my shot.”
The app replies:
> “ERROR 404: This is not your league.”
He’s proud.
VCs are confused.
But as Tolu says every morning while brushing his teeth with borrowed toothpaste:
> “One day, the world will catch up to my madness.”
Tolu’s mother, who has remained mostly silent through his journey of endless ideas and zero income, finally speaks.
She calls him.
> “Tolulope, e don do. Come back home. Start POS.”
Tolu: “Mummy I can’t. I’m close to changing the world.”
She sighs, prays, and sends him ₦5,000.
That day, he tweets:
> “Mothers. The first true investors.”
EPILOGUE: LEGEND OF THE UNFUNDED
He’s still tweeting.
Still pitching.
Still calling himself “Africa’s Elon with more drip and less funds.”
You may laugh, but one day, when your goat opens a digital wallet…
It’ll be thanks to Tolu.
The tech bro.
The meme.
The movement.
