23/04/2024
DIVORCE AT TWILIGHT (1)
Grace sat at the table looking through the wedding album. She could see the love shining through both their eyes. She asked herself, what went wrong? Where did the love go after 32 years? How did she miss the signs? What is life going to be after the divorce?
The internet went wild when a well-known Nigerian woman announced the end of her marriage of 47 years.
No one goes into a marriage with the mindset of divorcing. The dating game is not fun. The wedding, not cheap. Divorce is a challenging and sometimes traumatic event.
Grey divorce is the end of a marriage later in life, especially when the individuals are above 50 years of age.
Why do couples choose to end a marriage in the twilight of their lives?
Let’s explore.
Most of the time, the marriage had been in trouble for a long time, but the couple refused to accept the fact. This is common when the couple has problems with communication. In many cases, there is usually no violence. In relationships where silent treatment and stonewalling are used as means of controlling one another, one day, they will have to face the reality that there is no marriage.
In some instances, there has been an ongoing form of abuse; physical and mental abuse, withholding of financial support, or deprivation of intimacy. For example, married women, especially in Africa, endure abuse having convinced themselves that they will do anything to raise their children in a two-parent home. This may stem from the stigma society places on children from divorced parents and on the divorced woman.
Sometimes couples just grow apart. They may not realize that all they had in common was the children so, when they become empty nesters there is no more connection. Now, they are two strangers living under the same roof.
In other cases, substance abuse may lead to personality changes. Their partner may not be able to cope. Infidelity on the part of one of the partners is another reason for a grey divorce.
Women are more financially independent nowadays. They do not have to stay in abusive or unhappy marriages because of finances.
As people grow older, they prioritize their mental and physical well-being. If being on their own is what will give them peace, they are willing to go for it.
Have you experienced a grey divorce? Are you afraid you are heading towards a grey divorce? Kindly share your thoughts in the comment section.
In the next episode, we shall talk about the effects of grey divorce on individuals and society. We shall also explore ways to minimize the chances of having a grey divorce.