http://www.classified-news.blogspot.com/

Latest Gist., Alausa Next to the governor's office, Lagos (2026)

Q: What is the address?

Alausa Next To The Governor's Office

24/11/2020

Two Male Police Trainers Expelled After Getting 15 Police Women Pregnant

The police force has has been thrown into panic after 2 police trainers are said to have impregnated over 15 women during their training. The two trainers astonished their seniors after they started noticing the female officers were pregnant at the same time forcing the head of the police service to do an investigation.

The trainers were put under a panel investigation and were found guilty of sexual harassment against the female police trainees. A women non governmental organisation(NGO) was on the forefront seeking justice for the women.

16/05/2018

See how a beautiful baby girl's face was mutilated with tribal marks in the name of tradition. The main reason for this wickedness is why we won't develop as a Nation.

17/03/2017

Dr. Myles Munroe......On Marriage & Relationships

Ladies and Gentlemen,
This post is not for everybody. It's for people who wish to get understanding.

★The word "Eden" is an Hebrew word for "where God dwells", so the first thing God gave man was "His Presence".

*(1)*So the first thing a man needs is NOT a woman; it is the presence of God, and a woman should meet him in the presence of God. Eve met Adam in Eden.

*(2)*The next thing God gave man after putting him in the Garden was WORK. (Gen. 2:15). God gave man work before giving him a woman. That means a man needs a job before he gets a woman. God's priorities are very clear.

*(3)*The third thing God told man was "Cultivate"...... Cultivate here means, bring out the best in everything around you, to maximize the potentials of everything and everyone around you; to make everything fruithful. He only said that to the male. That's why God will never give a man a finished woman. The male was created by God to create whatever he wants. The woman you are looking for doesn't exist; she's in your head. Your job is to take the raw material you married and cultivate her into the woman in your head. So you have been married for 20yrs and you still don't like the product you get, that's your *fault*.

*(3a)*If your wife is putting a little weight and you don't like that, don't criticize her; it's your job to wake her at 6am, " Hey baby, let's go jogging".

*(3b)*You don't like her dress? Take her to a boutique and buy her clothes you like.

*(3c)* She can't speak good English? Send her to school and pay her tuition fee. CULTIVATE HER!!!!

*(4)*The fourth thing God said to man was, "Guard the Garden". The man has to be the protector of everything under his care. That's why God gave you a stronger bone frame. A bigger muscle mass, not to abuse the woman, but to protect the woman.

*(5)*The last thing God gave man was his Word... God told man not to touch the tree; God never told the woman about the tree, NEVER!!!..... Which means it was the man WHO received the word of God and his job was to teach his wife the word of God.

*NOTE*: Nothing frustrates a woman like when she asks her man "So what do you think" and the dummy answers "what ever you think is OK"....or keeps quiet. ..Giving Silence...mmmm.
Don't do that bro, don't do that. She's looking for knowledge and direction. That was the last command God gave to man in Vs 17.

★Now watch this: in verse 18, God said, "It is not good for this man to be alone". Now, don't just read the statement fast, read it again slowly, " it is not good for THIS MAN to be alone".

WHAT MAN???
Answer : The man who is:
*In his presence
*Has a job (working)
*Can Cultivate you
*Can protect you
*Can teach you.
So here's the problem:
★ if you meet a man who doesn't like God's presence, isn't working, can't cultivate you, can't protect you and can't teach you, then.....
IT IS GOOD FOR THAT MAN TO BE ALONE....😂😂😂
Full Stop!

16/03/2017

HAS OUR NEGLIGENCE GOTTEN THIS FAR COS OF MONEY💰???

They are killing us slowly in Nigeria, and we do not know it.

Apparently, for 9 years, a civil law case has been going on against Coca Cola Bottling Company, manufacturers of Fanta and Sprite,

That impacts directly on our health and lives.

Let me try and paraphrase it, so una no go sleep off.

Basically, one Dr Fijabi, had in 2007, bought about N12 million worth of Fanta and Sprite drinks from Coca Cola Bottling Company of Nigeria Ltd, and exported same to the United Kingdom.

However, on reaching England, under Health and Safety regulations, the authorities tested the products and found them to contain "poisonous levels of Benzoic Acid and Sunset addictives"

And were therefore declared "unfit for human consumption".

The whole export consignment was consequently destroyed.

Dr Fijabi therefore, sued Coca Cola for Negligence, breach of duty of care to its customers, and loss of earnings.

Fine.

Now comes the interesting part, so sit your yansh well :

The Almighty Coca Cola offered only one defence in court :

That Mr Fijabi did not tell them he was going to Export the Fanta and Sprite to England;

That they were indeed manufactured "FOR LOCAL CONSUMPTION ONLY."

What???

For local consumption?

Make I continue?? Hmmmmmmmmmm

So what Coca Cola Bottling Company is telling us, is that,

If they knew the Fanta and Sprite were to be exported to England, they would not have added so much poisonous acid;

But for the people of Nigeria, it is normal to poison us.

Chikena.

That is the official courtroom statement of Coca Cola Bottling Company of Nigeria.

Yesterday, The Lagos High Court under Justice Adedayo Oyebanji, was 'crying' when She gave judgement against Coca Cola, declaring them callous and negligent.

She 'cursed the parents' of NAFDAC for not carrying out proper laboratory checks on 'minerals' production in Nigeria.

Cancer was listed as one of the ailments that the present Fanta and sprite can cause, especially if taken with Vitamin C tablets.

She therefore, ordered Coca Cola to henceforth add a WRITTEN WARNING on Fanta and Sprite bottles that "this product must not be taken with Vitamin C."

Once again, Oyinbo has come to our rescue.

This is stuff you people in Nigeria should concern yourselves about,

Not whether Dollar has gone up or down.

As sent to our mail box.

21/01/2017

Dad: who do you like more, Dad or Mum?
Child : Both
Dad: Ok, if I go to America & ur Mum goes to Parish , where will U go?
Child: Paris...
Dad: that means U like ur Mum more?
Child: No, that means I like Paris.
Dad: Ok, if I go to Paris & ur Mum goes to America, where will U go?
Child: America
Dad: (Angry) why!?
Child: well, bcos I've been to Paris before.
Dad: (Angry) when did U go to Paris?
Child: In the first question U asked...

15/01/2017

St. James catholic cathedral military base Yobe...that's the priest with his Ak47 rifle...this is the practical example of watch and pray...lols

08/01/2017

Someone broke into my new car last night and went away with Cash and other valuables, Unluckily for him, his phone dropped in the car and his Facebook account was open on the phone.
Please, anybody who knows him should tell him to return my Valuables in Peace and money to repair my car window. I don't want anything else and no police report.

Below is the link to the thief's Facebook profile.

‏http://www.fb.com/profile.php

08/01/2017

✍✍ *FOOD FOR THOUGHT* 📝📝

```1. 👉No matter how beautiful and handsome you're just remember Baboon and Gorillas also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌

2.👉No matter how big and strong you are, you will not carry yourself to your Grave .
✌Be Humble✌

3.👉No matter how tall you are, you can never see tomorrow.
✌Be Patient✌

4.👉No matter how Light Skinned you are, you will always need light in Darkness ✌Take Caution ✌

5.👉No matter how Rich and many Cars you have, you will always Walk to Bed
✌Be Contented✌

Take Life Easy, Life is short.

WHAT A LIFE WE LIVE!

Have you taken note of the CO-INCIDENCE OF LIFE:

1. CHURCH has 6 letters so does MOSQUE.

2. BIBLE has 5 letters so does QURAN.

3. LIFE has 4 letters so does DEAD.

4. HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE.

5. ENEMIES has 7 letters, so does FRIENDS.

6. LYING has 5 letters, so does TRUTH.

7. HURT has 4 letters, so does HEAL.

8. NEGATIVE has 8 letters, so does POSITIVE.

9. FAILURE has 7 letters, so does SUCCESS.

10. BELOW has 5 letters, so does ABOVE.

11. CRY has 3 letters so does JOY.

12. ANGER has 5 letters, so does HAPPY.

13. RIGHT has 5 letters, so does WRONG.

14. RICH has 4 letters, so does POOR.

15. FAIL has 4 letters, so does PASS.

16. KNOWLEDGE has 9 letters, so does IGNORANCE.

Are they all by Coincidence? We should choose wisely, this means LIFE is like a double-edged sword.
If you think it is your alarm clock that woke you up this morning, try putting it beside a dead body and you will realise that it is the grace of God that woke you up. If you are grateful to God, forward this to all your friends to inform them that it is JUST BY THE GRACE OF GOD that we are alive.

NOTE: I am not forcing anyone to forward this, if it blessed you and you want to bless someone else, just share!```

23/12/2016

Say what you see in the picture...I see dark sun glasses! Lol.

21/12/2016

A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE

People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business,they'll say "Ahh Oga Ejike,go and marry so you'll stop washing".

They'll see a man cooking and be like "Bro Ade,you need to get married so you can stop cooking".

A mother will look at his 35years old son who cannot wash his own boxers,boil water for tea or even make his own bed....a 35years old that cannot take his plates to the kitchen after eating and tell him "James,you need to settle down....get a woman to take care of you".

In different ways,the society subconsciously tell men that they don't marry women for any reason other than cleaning,cooking and childbearing.
I begin to wonder,does the average Nigerian man need a wife or a glorified maid?
Many women look 3times their age because of stress and exhaustion.
You sit down in front of the TV with your phone a d watch your wife work until she's about to pass out.

Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash your own plates?
Who told you that it is wrong to wash your own clothes?
Who told you that it is wrong to dress your bed when you wake up?
What will it take to help your partner with chores in the house?
If a man wanted to be adopted as a child to be pet,pampered, fed and nursed. Then,he need not to seek marriage, he should rather offer himself up for an adoption at a motherless home to be pick up.
If you want a wife.....then get wife.
But if you are getting married because you feel you're becoming too old to do your own chores then get a maid.

15/12/2016

HOW to MAKE a WOMAN HAPPY

Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-3)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-5)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with beer. (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has breast implants. (-40)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-5)
You lied and told her it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say to her, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-40)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)

05/10/2016

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a r**e!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

Latest Gist.

24/11/2020

16/05/2018

17/03/2017

16/03/2017

21/01/2017

15/01/2017

08/01/2017

08/01/2017

23/12/2016

21/12/2016

15/12/2016

05/10/2016

Address

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Business

Shortcuts

Share

Category

Listing takedown request