06/10/2025
People keep asking me this question, so I thought to address same today:
A man sends money to a woman so she can come over as agreed, and then she disappears. Every time, the question follows: can you sue to get your money back?
At first glance it feels simple: “I gave money, she didn’t show up, I should be able to sue.” But the law looks a little deeper. For an agreement to become a contract that courts will enforce, there has to be more than a casual understanding. There must have been a clear offer, acceptance of that offer, an intention that the promise would be legally binding, and some lawful consideration; something of value exchanged. Both parties must also have capacity to contract, and the purpose of the deal must not be illegal or against public policy.
When you send someone transport fare just to come and visit, without any clear agreement that creates a legal obligation, the law usually treats it as a gift. Disappointment alone is not a cause of action.
Also, where the money was really about a sexual promise; “I’ll come and sleep with you if you send t-fare”, the law steps back completely. Agreements founded on sex-for-money are considered immoral or illegal; courts will not help you recover money spent for that purpose. You can’t sue on an unlawful bargain.
So while the emotion is understandable, the legal reality is that not every failed personal arrangement is enforceable. Only where there is a proper contract; clear, lawful, and intended to create legal relations or outright fraud can the law offer a remedy. Otherwise, that transport fare is seen as a risk you chose to take.
Have you experienced this before, share in the comment🤗
