15/11/2025
What exactly is marriage?
Because honestly, the noise around it—both for and against—is so loud and convoluted that it’s shaping all kinds of perceptions, mostly negative.
Why are anti-marriage ideologies and lifestyles becoming louder? If marriage is really as good as its supporters claim, why is there so much resentment toward it? Or is it simply that the people against it have louder speaker hung across the street than those who value it?
To me, it all boils down to perception and understanding. Marriage is like a knife. There is nothing wrong with a knife. The same knife you use to cut vegetables and apples can also be used to harm or kpai someone. So the problem is with the user, not the knife. The knife is innocent in the matter.
But judging by the way people attack marriages these days, it’s almost as if they blame the knife itself, not the people handling it.
I left a bad marriage
I was in a toxic marriage
I was in an abusive marriage
Etc.
My hear don full
But think of it:
Just like we don’t accuse a knife when it’s used for evil purposes, we shouldn’t condemn marriage because of the people who misused it. Right?
Marriage, at its core, is a good thing—a powerful platform to build generational legacy, wealth, and stability.
But the people involved must understand how to make the union work. Marriage is a constant in any mathematical formula or equation, it's the humans as variables that usually changes.
A terrible experience with one person doesn’t mean marriage itself is the problem. It means the way both parties handled it was flawed. Remember my knife analogy?
Let’s stop bashing marriage and start choosing partners for the right reasons—not out of greed, unhealed trauma, selfish expectations, chaotic gender roles, ego, or any other unresolved baggage we refuse to deal with before saying “I do.”
Na marriage send me this update because e don tire for how una dey drag am. Abeg, let marriage breathe. ✋🏽💛
- Yomi Olaleye
