17/04/2026
My name is Ifebuche Joy, and this is how I learned a quiet lesson about friendship.
For a long time, I thought I was surrounded by friends. The kind that would call me out for parties, laugh loudly with me, and never let me stay home because I had nothing to wear. Whenever I said I was broke, they would say, Don’t worry, we will get you a dress. We will buy the shoes. Just come.
And I came. Again and again.
One day, I gathered courage. Not for a party, but for my future.
I asked them for help not much just money to register and learn a skill. Something that could change my life, give me direction, give me independence.
They said they didn’t have money.
I understood. Or at least, I tried to.
Two days later, my phone rang.
“Joy, there’s a party this weekend!”
I told them the truth. I didn’t have money.
They replied quickly, almost cheerfully, “Don’t worry, we’ll buy you a dress.”
That was the moment it became clear.
They could invest in how I looked for one night, but not in who I could become for a lifetime.
They were comfortable funding my appearance, but not my growth.
They loved the version of me that showed up to parties not the version that wanted more from life.
That day, I didn’t argue. I didn’t explain. I just listened.
And in that silence, I realized something painful but freeing:
I didn’t lose friends.
I simply discovered that I was walking alone toward my future and that’s okay.
Because anyone who fears your growth is not meant to go where you’re going.
Ifebuche joy writes
