19/09/2026
One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is believing one side of a story and immediately judging the other person.
Someone tells you, “That person offended me.”
Before you hear what happened, you have already taken sides.
Before you ask questions, you have already formed an opinion.
Before the other person gets a chance to speak, you have already condemned them.
That is not justice; that is judgment based on incomplete information.
And sadly, this happens even inside the church.
Sometimes a member reports another member to a leader, and without properly investigating, people begin to take sides. Someone is labelled disrespectful, proud, troublesome, rebellious or difficult when the full story may be completely different.
The person being discussed may not even know that a case has already been decided against them.
Look at what this can cause in the church:
It can create division, mistrust and bitterness.
It can destroy friendships and relationships.
It can make innocent people withdraw from church.
It can damage someone's reputation through rumours.
And sometimes, people who came to church looking for healing end up being wounded by the very people they trusted.
The Bible gives us wisdom about this.
“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Proverbs 18:13 (KJV)
And Jesus also gave a process for handling offences rather than spreading stories and immediately condemning people (Matthew 18:15–17).
Hearing both sides doesn't mean you must believe everybody.
It means you are willing to listen before reaching a conclusion.
Sometimes the person who speaks first is not necessarily the person who is right.
Sometimes the quiet person has a story too.
Sometimes what looked like intentional wrongdoing was actually a misunderstanding.
So before you judge someone's marriage, character, ministry, friendship, parenting or behaviour based on what somebody told you, pause. Ask questions. Listen. Pray for wisdom.