Stephen Eludayo Oladiji

Stephen Eludayo Oladiji We Keep Moving Network Marketer & Freelancer

Cynthia prepared some vegetable soup for herself and Thomas, her husband, after returning from church.When they were abo...
31/07/2022

Cynthia prepared some vegetable soup for herself and Thomas, her husband, after returning from church.

When they were about to eat, the following conversation began.

Thomas: Where did you get the vegetables from?

Cynthia: I got it from Mr. David's garden.

Thomas: What?! How am I to know that he didn't poison the vegetables?

Cynthia: I have an idea.

(She gave some to her dog. After some time, the dog went to play.)

Cynthia: See? The food isn't poisoned.

Thomas: OK. Let's eat then.

(After eating, their maid came crying.)

Cynthia: What happened?

MAID: Our dog is dead.

Thomas: What? The food is poisoned! (Feeling sober and guilt filled upon realising he's going to die in a couple of minutes) I need to make a Confession!

Cynthia: What?

Thomas: When you aren't at home, I and your maid use to have sēx in my room.

Cynthia: (Feeling angry but immediately realising this is futile) I forgive you.

Cynthia: I too have a confession to make. Promise to forgive as I have.

Thomas: OK.

Cynthia: The two children aren't yours. They are the Gateman's children.

(Immediately, the Gateman came in)

Gateman: Boss The man who hit the dog with his car is outside. He says he wants to apologise for k!lling the dog.😕

My Wife and I had a fight today and she threw the wedding ring out of the window and went to her room.I ran to where the...
26/07/2022

My Wife and I had a fight today and she threw the wedding ring out of the window and went to her room.

I ran to where the ring fell, and picked it.

Then I went out to buy her something to eat. I took it to the room and apologized.

She accepted my apology and regretted her actions, then she went searching for the ring.

She spent two hours looking for it in the yard under the full sun while the ring was in my pocket.😊

I waited for the third hour then I went there, gave it to her and said I found it three hours ago.

That's how another fight started.😕

I remember back in secondary school.My friend was sleeping in class so I took his phone and changed my contact name to h...
21/07/2022

I remember back in secondary school.

My friend was sleeping in class so I took his phone and changed my contact name to his Father's name.

Then I texted him.

"Son I won 300 million on lottery and I bought 5 tickets for the family, so come home right now, we are leaving the country."

He threw his books in the middle of the period and raised a middle finger to the principal, and said;

"I'm done with your rubbish school sir! You crāzy old man!"

Before I could rush to him and tell him it was a prank, he had already ran out of the class, running home.

To cut the story short, it's been 11years now and he haven't still forgiven me.😕

A Millionaire diēd and his lawyer meets with his family for the reading of the will."To my loving wife, Rose, who always...
18/07/2022

A Millionaire diēd and his lawyer meets with his family for the reading of the will.

"To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million." the attorney reads.

"To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million."

"And finally," the lawyer concludes, "to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!"😕

16/07/2022

A mad man was standing near a Chemist shop when Thomas walked in complaining to the chemist saying,

''Doctor, my head is aching me seriously since 2 days now....."

IMMEDIATELY, the mad man entered and said, ''I know how you feel''.

Thomas was astonished, he glanced at the chemist who was also dumbfounded and he replied to the madman saying, ''explain''

The mad man said: ''Sometimes it will be as if ten men are druming on ur head?"

Thomas said: Yes, that's true!!

Mad man: And it will be as if your head want to fall down?

Thomas: Yes!! You are right.

Mad man: And you'll be seeing things double double.

Thomas Yes! Yes!!... You're correct.

Mad man: And sometimes you'll be seeing things in a different perspective?

Thomas: My God!.. That's true.

Mad man: When u see fire it will turn to river and if u see dumb site it will turn to paradise in ur eyes.

Thomas: Jesus!... That's absolutely correct. But how come u know all these things?

Mad man: Na so my own take start.🙂

Thomas: (faints)😱😂



Stephen Eludayo Oladiji

A Girl Returns Home After 30 Years.DAD: (Angry) Where the hell have you been all these years???GIRL: I was working as a ...
23/05/2022

A Girl Returns Home After 30 Years.

DAD: (Angry) Where the hell have you been all these years???

GIRL: I was working as a Prôstitute in the Vietnam.

DAD: What!!.... Get out of my house,You Whôre, I don't want to see your face Again do you understand?!!

GIRL: (Crying) Before I go Dad, I came to give you $10million cheque, and here is $2 million for my brother. I have bought a big house in UK for you with everything in it including a Ferarri and a Bugati. Bye Dad.

DAD: (Smiling) What kind of work did you say you were doing in Vietnam??

GIRL: (Crying out loud) A Prôstitute Dad!!!

DAD: Come and give Daddy a hug, I thought you said you were a "Prosecutor."

I was A vîrgin. I had never had s3x before.I knew nothing about it.My parents married a girl for me.On the first night a...
22/05/2022

I was A vîrgin.

I had never had s3x before.

I knew nothing about it.

My parents married a girl for me.

On the first night after the marriage, I entered the bedroom only to see My wife completely Nāked. I was completely shocked 😱 Because I had Never seen A Nåked woman in my life.🙄

She asked; "Do you know what I want?"

I said; "NO!"

She then laid on the bed and asked again;
"Do you know what I want?"

I said; "NO!"

She then spread her bôdy on the bed and opened her lêgs wide and asked me again;
"Do you know what I want??!"

I started laughing!!😂😂 After laughing for about 4 minutes, I said;
"Yes, you want to have the whole bed and sleep Alone. Don't worry I will sleep on the floor"😏🤦‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

19/05/2022

If you live in Osogbo, Osun State, currently, plz comment under this post. I'll message you privately.

Ah, where do I start from naw?I just want to say a sincere thank you for the birthday wishes.Ah! From post comments to n...
19/05/2022

Ah, where do I start from naw?

I just want to say a sincere thank you for the birthday wishes.

Ah! From post comments to numerous text messages to Phone calls.

Ajeh, y'all really made my day... See me smiling here like Mumû.

What else can I say?? Thank you very much.🥺

If I haven't replied your message yet, please be patient with me, I'll surely reply all of you🙏

I've been very busy offline recently, which is why I haven't been online that much to give some contents.

This is me (virtual below) doing our daily activity.

We are giving it back-to-back.

Hustle must pay.

Have a Fruitful day.❤️

Today marks a very special day for me, a day filled with happiness and joy when I was born.I am grateful for the gains a...
16/05/2022

Today marks a very special day for me, a day filled with happiness and joy when I was born.

I am grateful for the gains and losses so far.

I am grateful for the growth and development.

I am grateful for everything life has taught me.

I am grateful for how many times I have cheated dêath.

I am grateful for having wonderful people like you around me.

On this day, I pray for more Wisdom, more Knowledge, and more Understanding, that will shape me into being a better person.

I pray for more Guidance and Protection all through this journey of life.

Happy birthday to me❤️

One day, a Woman wanted to know how her husband would react if she played a prank on him.So she decided to write him a l...
09/05/2022

One day, a Woman wanted to know how her husband would react if she played a prank on him.

So she decided to write him a letter saying;
"I'm TIRED, I don't want to live with you anymore. I'm gone forever. BYE!"

After writing, she placed the letter on the table and then hid under the bed.

When her Husband came back home, he saw the letter and read it, he replied on the same Paper and then began to sing and dance; clapping his hands and rejoicing, and started changing his clothes.

He got his phone, dialed someone, and said;
"Hey babe, I'm just changing my clothes and then will join you. As for the other Foool, it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her, I wish I had known you earlier..See you soon honey!"

The husband walked out of the room.

In tears and very Upset, the woman got out from under the bed and decided to go and read what her husband wrote on the letter.

When she got the Letter, it says;
"I COULD see your feet under the bed, I didn't make any phone call..I am going to buy bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare me a meal..I LOVE YOU!"

06/05/2022

All This Ritualist Don Come Again Ooo🙆

Just today in front of our house, one black tall man packed his car and called Me and my guy, Marvel, to help him push the car.

We started pushing the car, car no gree start till we reach the next street.

One man (Papa Tega) just shouted "STEVE..Stop!"

Then he ran to us and he ordered the man to come down from the car, the man came down. He now asked him to push the car by himself, the man refused and Papa Tega raised Alarm, all the different different Agbero show up once, and they asked the man to push the car. With fear the man pushed the car.

Oh My God!😩 Guess what happened!😱 Hmmmmm

Heyyyy na wa ooo, na like this Ritualist dey be? I just hear am before not until today oo🙄

My people the car...

Hmmmm...😞 the car start and the man bought us Coke and dashed us money😁

Na so Papa just wake me up from Dream

Make una no blame me oo🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

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Stephen Eludayo Oladiji

When a relationship is coming to an end:Dêafness: I didn’t hear it ring.Blîndness: I didn’t see your missed calls.Formin...
04/05/2022

When a relationship is coming to an end:

Dêafness: I didn’t hear it ring.

Blîndness: I didn’t see your missed calls.

Formination of busy: When you called, I was frying stone.

Nowhere to be found: Can we meet? Oh I’ll be going to the moon with my mom.

Online but not chatting: I just on my data to check if the sun is shining.

02/05/2022

From my inbox.

True Life Story About Children & Parenting

This is a true Life Story Please read and share for parents to learn.

It was a Sunday evening, we had a fellowship at a sister's house. Let's call her sister A. It was actually our first time hosting a fellowship at her place.

That evening, after we were done praying, the sister served us food, when we were done eating, I decided to assist her with washing of the plates, while the children watch TV in the parlor and the adults discussed about what's going on in the country.

I told her, I was going to the kitchen to wash the dishes, while she cleaned up the parlor, she was so thankful. I entered the kitchen to wash the dishes, but before I could even lift a single plate up, something really shocking, that left me completely speechless caught my attention. Even in my dreams, I would never have believed this.

The kitchen was opposite her son's room, that you can clearly see what's going on, in his room from the kitchen. I decided to take a closer look, to be sure that my eyes are not deceiving me. This will even shock you too. I saw 2 little girls. One is 7 years old, the other is just 5. The 7 year old had a phone, she was recording, and you won't believe, what she was recording. The 5 year old was completely naked and twerking her buttocks like an expert, while the 7 year old cheer her up.

I immediately entered the room, and took the phone from them, only to discover, that they had lots of videos and even pictures of what they were doing in the phone, as they did it turn by turn. And they had great fun doing it.

Concerning whose phone they used, you won't believe it, but that's not the way, it actually looks like. They used Sister A's only son and child's phone. It happened that they came to him, beggig him, that they wanted to play games with his phone, he never thought that they would do anything like that, as he innocently gave them. Remember this children has never come to his house before, and he only gets, to come back home, only on holidays bicos he is a boarding student.

The question still remains, what if I didn't caught this children, what would have become of this innocent boy. No one would have believed him, he might be called a bad influencer or even tagged a child rappist, maybe even imprisoned for years, for a crime he knows nothing about, bicos the world would say they are still children. It must be him, who taught them, and is probably using them, bicos his phone is filled with their n**e pictures and videos.

Please parents, let's watch out for this children. We are in a generation, where a child, no matter the age is capable, and overcapable of doing anything. Let's monitor the friends and people they hang out with, the videos they watch, the places they go to, and the things they do. Let's not defend them when they do anything evil, but correct them.

Remember no child is too young to do anything, except the ones in their mother's womb.

©️ Precious Diamond Star



Stephen Eludayo Oladiji

A Catholic Priest was dyîng in a hospital and asked the doctor to call a Police Officer and a politician.Within minutes,...
02/05/2022

A Catholic Priest was dyîng in a hospital and asked the doctor to call a Police Officer and a politician.

Within minutes, the two appeared.

He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands and kept quiet.

The guys were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a priest in his dyíng moment.

Out of anxiety, the politician asked,
''But why did you call us?''

The priest gathered all his strength and said,
"Jesus diëd between two thieves...I want to go the same way!"😲

Once in a while, remove N3,000 from that N5,000 in your account.Take a walk to the woman or mallam selling roasted chick...
01/05/2022

Once in a while, remove N3,000 from that N5,000 in your account.

Take a walk to the woman or mallam selling roasted chicken or pepper soup and order for two laps of chicken or one plate of fish. Tell her to package it in a takeaway.

On your way home, buy Hollandia yogurt, or any good yogurt or drink, et.c.

When you get home, lock your door, off your clothes, put "I can't kill myself" by Timaya or any of your best songs.

Please don't sit on the chair, spread on the floor and make sure you tear that chicken/fish as you listen to the song. Then sip the drink small small. All Na part of enjoyment!

One thing you need to know is that, problem no dey finish for this world. So no kill yourself trying to solve everything without taking a break to relax and enjoy your life.

Many people ended up in the grave without eating 10% of their sweat! All the days of your life, you are working for your children, your spouse, your church, your friend. YOU NKO? You no go take care of yourself?

Look after yourself first before anything else. A dêad person cannot hustle again. It is already 1st of May and the problems of 2022 still full ground.

Happy New Month and Welcome to my Month❤️✔️

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Osun
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