26/01/2026
On Saturday, 24 January, Tonto Dikeh shared the news that after 10 years of public battles with her ex-husband, Olakunle Churchill, there is now peace and respect. I am happy for her.
You may be wondering who Tonto Dikeh is and how I came to share this story of reconciliation and forgiveness on a Sunday morning?
Walk with me.
Tonto came into the limelight through Patience Ozokwor's (Mama G) widely successful album in 2007. The album had tracks like "National Moi Moi," "This Kind of Woman," "Jolly Forget Your Sorrow," and "Iyo Ngwo Ngwo." By the time the songs became a hit, Tonto was just beginning her own journey into the limelight, notably emerging as the first runner-up in the Next Movie Star reality show around that time.
She didn’t get the opportunity to be an "upcoming actress." She rose to prominence immediately after entering the industry, fueled mostly by the popularity of Mama G's songs and how many people believed she was her daughter, including everybody in my street at Onitsha that year.
She was barely 22 years old, with a big smile and demure personality on screen. She became an instant star, and her life changed. So, if she was expecting to suffer for recognition for a few years before being seen, that was not the case. She instantly made it to the big leagues, a very rare occurrence.
What were you doing at 20 or 22? Because I remember mine. I was jumping buses at Nnamdi Azikiwe University and trying to get a study spot at Garuba Square on some evenings to charge my phone. If I managed to see gala and Pepsi for dinner, that day was a happy day.
But at that age, Tonto had already conquered an industry where some men controlled access and expected you to "shake body" before you made it to the big leagues. Go to Asaba and Enugu and see so much wasted talent fanning the King and warming the beds of directors, hoping their big day will come.
Tonto prevailed and succeeded. And perhaps that was when her issues started.
She grew up in our eyes and had a lot of struggles from her personal life and career, but she had to show up daily and get things done.
When she married Olakunle Churchill, I was genuinely happy for her, as she appeared fulfilled. But things soon went bad in the union, and a lot of hurtful things were said publicly.
Famously, she referred to her ex-husband as a "40 seconds man" in a 2019 interview, alluding to poor performance in the other room, that other room where former President Buhari said women belonged. So, if anybody should know how to gauge performance and experience there, it should be women.
From here on and after that marriage ended, having produced one child, her personality changed and became more combative. I felt bad for her, and as a fan, I decided to reduce my engagement with her brand. She started calling herself "King" and became father, mother, sister, uncle, cousin, and everything to their son.
At some point, a man named Kpokpo di Kpo or Prince Kpokpogri came into the picture in a love frenzy that lasted shorter than the 40 seconds we were used to. That relationship climaxed in Tonto calling him what I would describe in my own terms as a "waka about preek".
Now, Tonto has found peace, thanks to a renewed spiritual journey under the watchful eyes of Pastor Jerry Eze, the "What God Cannot Do Does Not Exist" NSPPD preacher.
And this time, I believe Tonto got something right. She acknowledged she was in a total mess before she got spiritual attention. Taking responsibility for the role you played in messing up your life is not easy, but I am glad she is now on this journey.
I will end with the comment I shared with her on her page after she announced news of her newfound peace:
"This was so beautiful and heartwarming to read. Thank you, Tonto. I pray this peace continues to fill your heart and life now and always. Amen."
To anyone deeply hurt by a past partner or lover and finding it difficult to move on, I hope you find a place in your heart to forgive yourself first, because if you knew better, you would have done better. Pick up the pieces and keep living. We shall see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if the national grid collapses.
