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Soso Talks, Port Harcourt (2025)

15/09/2025

MAMA'S VOICE

I've had in my keep 2 phones I am not using.

Screen got bad and I changed.

So I kept getting itsy about fixing one of them.

I chucked it up to my Daughter needing a home phone for communication.

When it finally got fixed, I bought a new sim card for her during the long vacation and it really helped me enjoy some peace at home as they indulged in Netflix and the likes.

Yet I kept been drawn to check the phone.

I went through all the pictures and videos saved nothing seemed amiss..

Only for me to stumble on saved recordings..

Phone had a feature that automatically saved phone conversations when you pick a call.

I later had to go through the options of switching it off when my storage got full then forgot about it.

Imagine my delight, shock and a tirade of emotions that enveloped me when I heard my Mother's voice.

I can't explain it but this has been my balance this month, replaying it over and over again; listening and laughing as I hear my Mom struggle with technology, her dependence on me as closest to her house for contacts of labourers, TV subscriptions, transfers and how she devoted time to watch my children while I was at work or at a seminar.

These are the memories of Mummy the world remembers- love and care for others even when they hurt you and when you yourself are hurt.

Rest in peace Mummy🕊️

15/09/2025

I shouldn't have delayed going back home!

The drizzle deceived me into thinking the rain would subside so I hung out at the shop taking inventory.

Few minutes later my attention had been diverted to my phone...messages, mails, updates, notifications..

I began responding, reading, replying and listening.

The rain was pouring heavily now, my socks was damp so I took it off to dry my feet.

I don't like the rain!

Whenever I get wet, I catch a cold then my sinus pressure begins.

This is the one time I regret not following my instinct.

But my instinct was dead silent this morning which was strange.

As soon as the rain came down a bit I picked an umbrella and made for the road.

Wrong choice.

It was windy, umbrella was so fragile against the breeze and the rain had increased it's tempo AGAIN.

S**T !??

At my estate a man in a Prado jeep asked if I was going his way?

No my close is on the left, I said and watched in shock as he drove off.

Where are all the nice men???

There is always a huge puddle infront of my gate whenever it rains, something to do with the interlock sinking.

I'll be damned if I swim in it.

Mostly from fear of the earthworms I have seen crawling out everywhere on the road.

What if one gets in my shoes?

Aaarggghh!!!

What to do ?

The rain is pouring again, my behind not coverable by the mini umbrella is wet, shoes wet, gym slacks wet, front of top wet.

I would do anything to crawl into my large bed and hide under the sheets.

And I did.

I booked a ride; my rescue boat to sail me across the rivers to my doorstep.

It only cost a N1,000 but I was finally safe in my bed, legs squeaky clean of crawling things and in a snuggling velvet gown my Sister got for me.

Perhaps I will make some hot coffee later or Pepper soup when I wake up....

14/09/2025

MY SHOES

As I sat waiting for my turn to see the consultant, I couldn't help but notice them - Mother and daughter.

The resemblance was too striking to ignore, both light skinned, chubby and beautiful.

It reminded me of my Mother and I.

The pretty daughter sat unperturbed talking too loudly to a plain, dark girl her age while her Mother scurried around to get them registered.

Both girls were talking about marriage and red flags.

Only 18years old and they had all the answers already.

The light skinned girl seemed overly confident in her assertion of what her marriage should be.

Her husband must never raise his voice at her or even as little as a tight grip pointing at violence was enough grounds for divorce...

He must let her work yet not expect any contributions to the home from her..

Infact any signs of stress from him or in-laws and she would leave.

I wanted so badly to interrupt especially as the Mother kept glancing at me in apologetic exasperation.

Clearly her young daughter had a clear vision for her life even though she needed some more guidance.

It made me think about marriage and the binding ties that kept one holed up in a bad marriage in the hopes that things may change, the consideration of innocent children for mistakes made, the denial that because there was once good times and perhaps it may return someday, the shame of been labeled 'broken home' 'single Mother' 'divorcee', the harsh doctrines of religion and fear of condemnation from society, family members and friends..

Sadly all these burdens are solely on the African woman not their male partners.

I am pleasantly intrigued by the generation of women changing the narrative.

Not as feminist because that too has it clauses but in reverence of the role women play as wives, Mothers , professionals and Leaders in society.

13/09/2025

There are wins that are engrafted in times for generations to be inspired by.

Congratulations my Mentor Hilda Baci

01/09/2025

Mummy can you please have another baby for us?

My second daughter asked.

Beside her was her elder Sister nodding her head in affirmation, both girls smiling sheepishly with pleading eyes.

We are two girls, we want another boy so we'll be two girls and two boys, they chorused.

Well, ......

I finally spoke after my initial shock.

Having a baby is not as easy as you think and it comes with a lot of responsibility and planning...

No, its easy. You will just sleep and wake up and then boom your tummy will be big with a baby in it, Ada 2 chimed.

Yes, said her Sister happily as they giggled and walked away from my bedroom.

My people I have not slept since that day.

No be go wake up with shock:

05/08/2025

DISTRACTIONS!!!

Recently I had a spiritual encounter while talking with God.

I have a mix of communication with the trinity but the Holy Spirit is the best person for me.

So while I was talking to God this time, I suddenly began to have a nostalgic wave of loss; something missing that had been engrafted in my journey...

That ability to have deep relationship with God.

All my life , this has been my balance until marriage stole that from me.

Rather, i let my desire for marriage and a husband and children disrupt my carefully set out path.

In as much as I have made my peace with it, I still had not come to the full realization of the damage this had caused me and God had been very patiently waiting for me to get it.

I remember been very hungry for food. I thought it was physical food because I had made the last meal for the children that day, denying myself to see them full; somethings Mothers occasionally do.

So I laid on my bed with hunger pangs refusing to call anyone for help and I heard him(Holy Spirit)say,"put on your phone...eat".

A soft command, nudging me. I battled with moving or getting disappointed so I sat still for a few seconds more.

And then I heard again, "you don't trust ME".

Now even though I jumped up to put on my phone, saw a credit alert I was not expecting and made a move to go get something to eat, that moment was a shift for me.

I had left off trusting God completely and derailed.

I missed the still small voice, the depth of communication we had that made me extraordinary, the clarity of purpose, the rush it brought me. I missed 'spiritual food'.

I have decided to go on a break here, something I usually did to ward of distractions in my life-a sabbatical leave.

The month of August is truly for NEW BEGINNINGS!

30/07/2025

LIFE IS A VAPOUR!

Just yesterday I watched a video of him on Chioma Ifeanyi-Eze wall.

It was not just the marketing that caught my interest..

It was not also the packaging..

Well it was all of that and that if my Mother was alive she would have tried to order a carton.

She loved fish!

It's so sad that his life ended as it did, so sad.

29/07/2025

ADOLESCENCE & TANTRUMS.

I have been suppressing anger all afternoon.

My 9 years old walked out on me and banged the door so hard I wanted to drag her back and scream from a headache.

Monday and Tuesday have been busy with food orders and since I multitask so well, I decided to do it all alone.

For two days I have woken up by 3am to bake and send out for clients, then cook for the rider to pick up.

Last night my two daughters began treatment for malaria, the drugs made them drowsy so I was scrambling from one person's needs to another.

By this morning they were better.

So while they had their lessons, I sent out the last order by 12pm.

My legs hurt so bad I was limping.

9 hours work without break.

I asked my Ada to assist in washing the dishes and she began murmuring she was ill and tired.

I told her I was tired too but still had to work and make breakfast and lunch for 3 of them without even eating myself.

That's when she stormed out.

I was upset but I somehow remembered me as a little girl, how I had stormed out several times because I hated washing plates.

My Mother or Grandma never spanked me.

They merely gave me the look that said, I had no choice but to do it and I eventually did with more murmuring.

So that's what I did today, no shouting, no force just the look that said you have no choice and it worked.

Later this evening after she had finished the dishes, we talked on how her behavior made me feel and how it was not a good role model for her younger ones.

She apologized and we made up.

Only 9 but acting like a teenager already.

I don't think I'm ready for this phase yet.

27/07/2025

GRADUATION SHENANIGANS.

Since none of my babies were graduating, I didn't take note of all the pictures on the net till last night.

What my eyes saw I'm yet to recover.

There seems to be some sort of silent competition to out do one another in fancy clothes, hair do, nails, make up and arraignment of exotic cars to drop off children.

More shocking are the parents on ground excitedly taking pictures and posting on social media.

Times have changed indeed.

In my time, lip gloss and dark eye liner was the only make up we wore and even at that it was to the barest minimum.

What has gotten into parents to make these youngsters believe that natural is ugly and artificial is beautiful.

The amount of polish, glitter and heels put on these children is alarming.

Children who aren't even old enough to understand the world and it's challenges.

My fellow Christian Mothers what kind of children are we raising for the future ???

Hope we are are also ready for who they become in the future.

27/07/2025

CHEATING FAUX PAS!

Beautiful Sunday Morning today.

The children and I woke up to the sound of heavy rain drops and that's how church was cancelled.

Already the girls have a cold with one of them coughing while my Son has mumps.

Finished making breakfast and sat behind the screen to watch my current favorite series - Grey's Anatomy!

One of the doctors cheated on their spouse and the first thing the spouse did was to move out with their baby.

You could see the remorse, fear and regret on the face of the person who cheated.

Feelings of guilt and how it was something she wished she never did as it had disrupted the peace of their union.

Nigerian man cheats ???

That is when you will see his ego has inflated double, his voice tone louder, the audacity he would use to bellow on you why you checked his phone or why you are monitoring him is appalling.

The ones a bit saner will attempt to use money to splurge on their wife to look the other way..

How did we get here?

Man will cheat and keep malice with you , na you go beg am, still cook his food and perform your duties as a wife in bed, risking your life with STD's.

You want to leave the house because your husband cheated???

You dare not!

Don't even think of reporting to his friends, family or Pastor.

You will be shocked at the counsel you will hear.

All men are like that!
Pray and fast for him!
Do the things he likes!
Be more submissive!
Quiet your job and be a stay at home wife!
Give him babies!

Sadly this does not apply to women or wives.

The biblical adulterous woman has a far better chance of survival than a Nigerian wife caught cheating.

We are not far from animals, only a dwindling 1% of men are well raised.

The one that trips me is that tribe where the husband knows wife is cheating and looks away.. husband doing his own cheating, both still together till old age.

Omo things are happening.

26/07/2025

MY EXPERIENCE WITH BEER.

I had just gotten into SS1 and struggling with chemistry.

At home a function had left a large turnover of crates of beer.

Some relatives from the village where shouting for joy as my Mom had just declared they could take them.

I watched smiling as the men heaved crates and crates of beers in wheel barrows, others placed single crates on their head and hurried to drop them at home before coming to get another one.

Some others used their teeth to open bottles and gulp speedily in two shots.

There was jubilation in the air.

Maybe it was the way the bottle gleamed a golden hue in the evening light or the gush of bubbly foam that wooshed out or even the loud burps from the mouth of the men that made me crave a taste.

I picked up a large bottle and read aloud "Gulder".

There was something wonderfully happy about it all and I wanted to experience it.

As soon as I made sure no one was looking, I took a large gulp- twice and ran indoors.

A few minutes later I was crawling on the floor of my room to the passage way looking for my chemistry note to do my homework to submit tomorrow at school.

It was my first drunken experience.

My siblings were rolling on the floor in laughter.

I had been found out.

I remember vomiting and then sleeping off in a confused haze afterwards.

Even with been tipsy, I remembered the subject I hated, more in fear of the teacher than me actually failing.

Lucky for me I was not flogged.

It made me hate the drink or anything that smelled of it.

That was the beginning and abrupt end of 'beer' for me.

Likewise champagne, till date.

Soso Talks

15/09/2025

15/09/2025

14/09/2025

13/09/2025

01/09/2025

05/08/2025

30/07/2025

29/07/2025

27/07/2025

27/07/2025

26/07/2025

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