30/09/2025
I lived with my woman for 13 years without officially marrying her. One evening, during a casual conversation, she suddenly said:
“David… in a year, I’ll be married.”
I laughed and replied:
“Married? With who exactly?”
She just smiled and said:
“When the time comes, you’ll see…”
Listen, you should never take a woman’s words lightly. That same night, I made sure to “work hard” so she would get pregnant for the third time.
In my head I was like: “Before another man tries to take her from me, I’ll finish the juice completely. He’ll only leave with the skin.”
The following nights, I worked even harder. I worked so much that she could barely walk.
A month later—boom! She got pregnant right away.
Satisfied, I went back to minding my own business.
Nine months later, she gave birth to a beautiful baby that looked exactly like me. On that very day, she told me:
“In three months, I’ll be married, David.”
I replied calmly:
“No problem. He can come take you with the baby. I’m done with the juice.”
Three months later…
I was at work, minding my business, when suddenly a marching band burst into the office with drums and trumpets. What on earth is happening? I wondered.
That’s when my woman walked in, wearing a gorgeous dress.
The orchestra began playing a love song: “Before God and before men… for better or for worse… they are united in one long kiss…”
She went down on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said:
“David, today marks exactly 14 years since we’ve been together. If you don’t feel ashamed, I do. Since you lack the courage to propose to me like your friends did with their wives, I will propose to you instead.”
She grabbed my hand and slipped the ring onto my finger.
The orchestra shouted:
“HE SAID YESSSSS!!! THE PRINCESS MAN!!! HE HAS FINALLY DECIDED—DRUM ROLL!!!”
After this whole drama, they left. I was in total shock. Honestly, it felt like public humiliation. My colleagues kept looking at me strangely.
Later that evening, I got home. She welcomed me with a passionate kiss and whispered:
“Welcome home, baby…”
After the kiss, she slapped my butt playfully and said:
“Eyaaah! Go cook dinner, my sweetheart!”
I felt so vulnerable. I almost obeyed… until something in me shouted: “Wake up, man!!!”
After a few minutes of reflection, I sighed and said:
“You win. Go ask your parents for the bride price list.”
And that’s how, after drinking all the juice, I ended up keeping the skin myself.
Netflix can't wait for 2026
