10/02/2024
THE DILEMMA OF A SINGLE UNIVERSITY LECTURER!
As a single young man working as a university lecturer in Nigeria, I find myself constantly grappling with a unique set of challenges and dilemmas. Living in a society where marriage and family life are highly valued, being unmarried at my age feels like an anomaly. Society often expects young men to settle down, start families, and fulfil the traditional roles of husband and father. However, my career aspirations and personal circumstances have led me down a different path.
One of the primary dilemmas I face is the pressure to conform to societal norms. In Nigeria, marriage is often seen as a symbol of success, maturity, and social stability. Being a single young man, I am often subjected to questioning, criticism, and even pity from well-meaning family members, friends, and colleagues. They cannot fathom why I prioritize my career over starting a family and view my unmarried status as a cause for concern.
Moreover, there is an implicit assumption that being single means I am not committed or responsible enough for certain responsibilities. As a lecturer, I find myself questioning whether my marital status affects my professional opportunities and advancement within the academic realm. While it may not be openly acknowledged, there is a perceived bias towards married individuals, who are often considered more mature, reliable, and trustworthy. This bias can manifest in missed promotions or opportunities for leadership positions, leaving me to wonder if my unmarried status is hindering my career progression.
Additionally, the academic workload and demands of being a university lecturer further exacerbate the dilemma. Long hours, rigorous research commitments, and heavy teaching loads often leave little time for socializing, dating, or building relationships. Striking a balance between work and personal life becomes a constant juggling act. I am torn between devoting more time and energy to my career and pursuing personal relationships or settling down.
On the other hand, being single also offers a unique advantage. It enables me to focus solely on my professional development without the added responsibilities and constraints of family life. I have the freedom to pursue advanced degrees, engage in research projects, attend conferences, and build an extensive network of colleagues and collaborators. Being unencumbered by family obligations allows me to dedicate more time and energy to my students, shaping their lives and futures.
Thus, being a single young man working as a university lecturer in Nigeria presents me with a complex and challenging dilemma. Society's expectations, perceived biases, and the demands of academia often create tensions between my personal and professional life. While I strive to find a balance and navigate these dilemmas, I am also aware that my unmarried status presents unique opportunities and advantages. Ultimately, I aim to make choices that align with my values, aspirations, and vision for my life, regardless of societal pressures.
