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Relationship and purity counseling, island, Suru Lere (2026)

28/09/2026

GUIDE THE GATEWAY TO YOUR MIND

Your eyes and ears are gateways to your mind. What you repeatedly see and hear can eventually influence what you think about, desire, and entertain. Therefore, guard these gateways with all diligence and be intentional about what you allow into your heart.

When you look or listen, don't give room to everything simply because it is entertaining. Know what you stand for. Know the kind of life you have chosen to live, and exercise self-control.

Walking in purity is not only about controlling your physical actions; it also involves controlling your imagination, thoughts, desires, and the things you entertain in your mind. You can avoid the physical act while continually feeding the desire within your heart. Purity begins deeper than your actions—it begins with what you permit to take root inside you.

You cannot continually feed your eyes with what your spirit rejects and expect your heart to remain unaffected. What you constantly expose yourself to can become what you eventually desire.

Job said:

«“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” — Job 31:1 (NIV)»

Job understood that purity required a deliberate decision. He did not wait until temptation became an action before setting a boundary; he made a covenant with his eyes beforehand.

You also must make that decision.

Decide what you will watch.

Decide what you will listen to.

Decide what you will entertain.

Decide what you will allow your imagination to dwell on.

Not everything that appears before you deserves your attention, and not everything that sounds good deserves a place in your heart.

Guard your gateways because what enters through them can influence what grows within you.

Make the decision to remain pure, set your boundaries, guard your eyes and ears, and walk faithfully in the decision you have made before God.

26/09/2026

BE SPIRITUALLY STRONG NOW

If you are not spiritually sound while you are single, there is no guarantee that marriage will automatically make you spiritually strong. The discipline you build now will matter when you enter marriage.

Remember, marriage is another phase of life entirely. You will face different responsibilities, pressures, and challenges from those you experienced while single. Marriage brings two different people together to become one, and that requires patience, sacrifice, understanding, prayer, and spiritual maturity.

When you are single, you may have more freedom with your time. But when children begin to come, responsibilities increase. There are bills to pay, businesses and careers to attend to, family members who may need your attention, a spouse who needs your presence, and many other responsibilities competing for your time.

In the midst of all these, where will your spiritual life stand?

Will prayer become something you only do when you have spare time? Will studying God's Word become something you postpone because of work and family? Will fellowship with God gradually disappear because life has become busy?

This is why you must build your spiritual life now.

Do not wait until marriage before you begin learning how to seek God consistently. Do not wait until responsibilities increase before you develop the discipline of prayer, studying the Word, obedience, self-control, and fellowship with God.

Marriage does not automatically produce spiritual maturity. What you cultivate before marriage will become part of what you carry into marriage.

And this is where choosing a spouse also matters.

When both partners genuinely desire God and are committed to growing spiritually, they can encourage one another. As Scripture says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” — Proverbs 27:17.

Your spouse should not become the reason you abandon your walk with God. And you should not enter marriage expectingyour spouse alone to become your source of spiritual strength. Your relationship with God must be personal first.

Yes, there are marriages where one partner becomes stronger spiritually and helps encourage the other. But do not intentionally remain spiritually weak because you assume that marriage will fix you.

Start now.

Learn to pray when nobody is watching.
Learn to obey God when there is no applause.
Learn to say no when temptation comes.
Learn to study the Word even when you don't feel like it.
Learn to seek God in your decisions.
Learn to surrender your desires to His will.

These disciplines will become valuable when life becomes more demanding.

Some people are afraid of marriage because they have seen people become spiritually cold after getting married. Yes, marriage can expose weaknesses, and the wrong relationship can make spiritual growth more difficult. But that is also why you must be intentional about the person you choose and the kind of foundation you are building before marriage.

Do not make marriage your spiritual rescue plan.

God is your source.

If you are single, use this season well. Serve God. Grow in the Word. Build your character. Develop spiritual discipline. Learn contentment. Learn self-control. Learn to hear God's direction and obey Him.

Marriage will bring its own responsibilities, but your relationship with God must remain at the centre of your life.

And if you are already married, it is not too late to strengthen your spiritual life. Start again. Pray together. Encourage one another. Make room for God's Word. Build a home where Christ is not merely mentioned but genuinely honoured.

Child of God, take your spiritual life seriously.

This world will present many distractions, temptations, and pressures, but your walk with God gives you the foundation to navigate them wisely.

If you have become lukewarm, wake up.

If you have become distracted, return.

If you have become spiritually weak, brace yourself again.

Do not wait for another season before you start taking God seriously.

Be spiritually strong now—not because you are preparing only for marriage, but because you are preparing for a life that belongs to God.

25/09/2026

HOW CAN I BE ATTRACTED TO THE RIGHT PARTNER final part

iii. DON'T LET YOUR EYES CHOOSE WHAT YOUR SPIRIT HAS NOT DISCERNED

Physical attraction is not wrong. You should be attracted to the person you marry. But physical attraction alone cannot carry a marriage.

You may be attracted to someone's face today, but marriage will eventually introduce you to their character, habits, values, weaknesses, responsibilities, and reactions under pressure.

The question is not only:

“Do I like what I see?”

But also:

“Can I honor what I have discovered?”

Because after the excitement of attraction settles, character will still be there.

Don't choose a person simply because they are beautiful, handsome, wealthy, popular, eloquent, or emotionally exciting.

Look deeper.

Watch their character.

Observe how they treat people who cannot benefit them.

Observe how they respond when they are corrected.

Observe how they handle anger, disappointment, money, responsibility, boundaries, and temptation.

Most importantly, observe whether their private life agrees with their public confession.

iv. BE POSITIONED TO RECOGNIZE THE RIGHT ONE

If you want to be attracted to the right partner, allow God to shape your desires.

The more you grow in God, the more your understanding of what truly matters should mature.

You may once have been attracted primarily to appearance, but as you grow, you begin to appreciate character.

You may once have been impressed by attention, but you begin to value consistency.

You may once have desired someone who simply made you feel good, but you begin to desire someone who can build with you according to God's purpose.

This is part of maturity.

“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” — Psalm 37:4

This Scripture is not merely an invitation to get everything we desire. It points us toward delighting ourselves in God, allowing Him to shape our desires according to His will.

So, before asking God, “Where is my husband?” or “Where is my wife?”, also ask:

“Lord, am I becoming the person who can responsibly love, honor, serve, and build with the person You may bring into my life?”

The right attraction is not simply about finding someone who makes your heart beat faster.

It is about learning to recognize qualities that can support a godly covenant.

Don't just pray for the right person. Become the right person.

Don't just ask God to send you someone who fears Him. Become someone who fears Him.

Don't just ask for someone who is prepared for marriage. Prepare yourself too.

And when your desires, character, and decisions are increasingly surrendered to God, you become better positioned to recognize what aligns with His will.

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” — Proverbs 3:5–6

’swill

24/09/2026

HOW CAN I BE ATTRACTED TO THE RIGHT PARTNER part 2

i. BECOME WHAT YOU ARE PRAYING FOR

You must also prepare yourself to become the kind of person you are praying for.

If you desire someone who fears God, do you fear God?

If you desire someone who is loyal, are you loyal?

If you desire someone who respects you, do you know how to respect others?

If you desire someone who is emotionally mature, are you willing to grow emotionally?

If you desire someone who will sacrifice for the marriage, are you prepared to sacrifice too?

Sometimes we spend so much time asking God for the right person that we forget to ask God to make us the right person.

You cannot continually pray, “Lord, give me a godly spouse,” while refusing God's work of transformation in your own life.

ii. ARE YOU READY FOR GOD'S WILL?

Doing God's will is not always easy.

Sometimes God's direction will require patience. Sometimes it will require saying no to what looks attractive. Sometimes it will require walking away from something you desperately wanted because it does not align with His purpose.

That is why discernment is important.

You must be willing to say, “Lord, not my will, but Yours.”

If you are not ready to obey God when His will contradicts your feelings, how will you recognize His direction when choosing a life partner?

God's will may not always look exactly like the picture you created in your mind.

That's why sometimes many say:

“God, are you sure this is the person?” 😂

“Lord, this is not what I imagined.”

“God, why this one?”

But remember:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.” — Isaiah 55:8

And it continues:

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” — Isaiah 55:9

This does not mean that every person we feel attracted to is automatically God's choice for us. It means we must learn to surrender our desires to God's wisdom rather than assuming that what looks perfect to us must be God's will.

’swill

23/09/2026

HOW CAN I BE ATTRACTED TO THE RIGHT PARTNER? Part 1

Many people have different definitions of attraction. For some, attraction begins with physical appearance, chemistry, status, wealth, or personality. But for a child of God, attraction should go deeper than what the eyes can see.

There are qualities we should learn to recognize and value when considering a life partner.

1. SPIRITUALITY

One of the first things to look for is the person's relationship with God.

Do they genuinely fear God? Do they love God? Is their faith only something they display publicly, or does it influence the way they live privately?

A person can be active in church and still lack a genuine relationship with God. Therefore, don't be carried away only by church activities. Look at character, obedience, humility, integrity, and the fruit of the Spirit.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” — Proverbs 9:10

You should desire someone who is sincerely pursuing God, because marriage is not just about building a home together; it is about walking together in God's purpose.

2. PURPOSE

Attraction should also include purpose.

Ask yourself: What is this person living for? What kind of future are they building? What values guide their decisions? Can the two of you walk in the direction God is leading you?

You cannot say you desire to fulfill God's purpose in marriage while intentionally choosing a partner primarily because of beauty, money, popularity, or temporary excitement.

Physical attraction has its place, but it should not become the foundation.

Beauty can change. Money can disappear. Positions can change. Feelings can fluctuate. But character, godliness, wisdom, and commitment to God are qualities that can sustain a relationship through different seasons.

3. CHARACTER AND PERSONAL QUALITIES

There are other qualities that matter: respect, loyalty, kindness, wisdom, emotional maturity, responsibility, honesty, communication, and a willingness to grow.
Don't only ask, “Am I attracted to this person?”

Also ask:

“What exactly am I attracted to?”

Are you attracted to their character or merely their appearance?

Are you attracted to their relationship with God or merely their public image?

Are you attracted to their values or simply the attention they give you?

Are you attracted to who they truly are, or to the person you have imagined them to be?

These questions can help you examine your attraction more carefully.

23/09/2026

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Mohammed Salah, Vavalai Mtoto Wa Mjini, Emmanuel Mbitsemunda, Arnold Juguilon Paras, Carent Cee, Samuel Idris

22/09/2026

RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT JUST ABOUT ROMANCE.

There is more to discuss, more to communicate, more to understand, and more to iron out.

There is a future to build together, decisions to make, values to align, and challenges to prepare for. Romance is beautiful, but it should not become the foundation of a relationship. Seek first the kingdom of heaven 👌.

Open yourselves up to honest conversations. Talk about your expectations, boundaries, finances, faith, purpose, family, and future—not only sweet words and romantic moments.

Romance can sometimes make you overlook what needs attention, but healthy boundaries and honest conversations help you see things more clearly.

Build on a solid foundation, not on emotions alone. Do what is necessary, seek what is right, and prepare for the future you hope to build together.

18/09/2026

DEAR MEN,

Make sure you marry someone with whom you can find peace.

Meeting up with family responsibilities is not an easy task. Going out every day to work, provide, plan, sacrifice, and fend for a living is not always easy. There are days when a man is exhausted, but responsibility keeps ringing in his ears even when he feels like resting.

That is why your peace matters.

After facing the pressures of the world all day, you should have someone at home who can help calm your heart—not someone who constantly adds another burden to what you are already carrying.

Have someone who can look at your efforts and say, “I see how hard you're trying. I appreciate you.”

Have someone who can encourage you when things are difficult, pray with you when you are overwhelmed, and remind you that you don't have to carry everything alone.

Marriage should not be another battlefield where both partners are constantly fighting against each other. It should be a place where two people learn to face life together.

This does not mean marrying someone who will never disagree with you. There will be misunderstandings, difficult seasons, financial pressures, and moments when both of you will be frustrated. Peace in marriage does not mean the absence of problems; it means having a partner who chooses to handle those problems with love, wisdom, respect, and understanding.

Don't marry someone who only notices what you haven't done while ignoring everything you are doing.

Don't marry someone who makes you feel like your efforts are never enough.

Don't marry someone who increases your blood pressure after a long, stressful day. 😂

Choose someone who understands that being a responsible man is not easy.

And men, remember this too: be the kind of husband who gives peace as well. Don't demand from a woman what you are unwilling to give. Your wife also carries responsibilities, emotions, pressures, and silent battles. Learn to appreciate her, listen to her, support her, and create a home where both of you can breathe.

Marriage is not about finding someone who will make life perfect. It is about finding someone with whom you can face life's imperfections and still choose love.

Choose wisely. Build intentionally. And above all, let God be involved in the choice.

16/09/2026

__Don't just fall in love with the person you see in church. Take time to know the person behind the church activities.

__Don't be carried away by what someone does for God. Pay attention to who they are when they are not doing anything for God in public.

__Do not confuse spiritual activity with spiritual maturity.

__Do not marry a pulpit image. Marry a person whose private life agrees with their public confession.

__Working for God is not the same as walking with God.

16/09/2026

DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH ACTIVITIES

Don’t fall in love with the activities; look beyond them and examine the true life of the person behind the work.

Many are simply church boys and church girls. Working for God does not necessarily mean they are walking with God.

Some can almost give their last strength to church activities, but once they leave that atmosphere, their private lives reveal something completely different—

Dear godly young men and women, pray, observe, and confirm God’s leading before falling in love. Don’t only consider who the person is today; think about the kind of challenges you may face together years into marriage.

He may be very active in church and speak in tongues, but that alone does not prove that he is truly born again. Look beyond the activities. Check his character and private life.

She may love doing the things of God and quote Scriptures, but that alone does not prove that she is truly born again. Look beyond the platform and examine her lifestyle.

I once watched a video of a couple in court before a judge. The man said one of his greatest mistakes was marrying his wife because of what she was doing in church SU (Scripture union).

So he assumed that her commitment to church activities would automatically make her a good wife? but things turned out differently.

Many people face similar challenges today. They become so impressed by someone's fervent church activities that they overlook character, maturity, and lifestyle—and eventually enter marriage blindly.

Before you fall in love, look beyond the activities. Examine spiritual maturity, genuine salvation, godly character, emotional intelligence, relationship skills, responsibility, and how the person handles family and conflict.

Don’t just fall in love with what they do for God. Pay attention to what God is doing in them.

Relationship and purity counseling

28/09/2026

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