29/06/2025
Welcome to the World, Baby (Now Please Let Us Sleep)
Thereâs a magical moment when you first hold your newborn. The world pauses. Your heart expands. You cry a little. They cry a lot. And thenâjust like thatâyouâre a parent.
And let me tell you: parenthood is a journey that begins with a scream (theirs) and ends⌠well, it doesnât end. It just changes volumes.
The Baby Has Landed
After nine long months of anticipation, cravings, name debates, and talking to a belly like itâs Alexa, the baby finally arrives. Tiny. Wrinkly. Slightly suspicious-looking. But yours.
Everyone smiles. You post the adorable hospital pic. âWelcome to the world, little one!â the caption reads. What it should say is: âWelcome to the world, chaos commander.â
Because letâs be honestâŚ
Nobody Sleeps Anymore
Sleep? Thatâs a myth now. The baby sleeps in 30-minute power naps, carefully calibrated to end just as you start dreaming. Youâre essentially living in 2-hour increments, fueled by caffeine and a vague hope that someday, youâll nap again.
Sleep-deprived, you start forgetting thingsâlike your name, the day of the week, and how pants work. Did I wear these yesterday? Doesnât matter. Theyâre mostly clean and baby hasnât spit up on them (today).
Diapers: The Never-Ending Story
Nothing prepares you for the sheer volume of diapers. Itâs like the baby has a side hustle producing them. You begin to develop ninja-level diaper-changing reflexes, complete with one-handed wipes and Matrix-like dodges from incoming sprays.
You also learn that something that small can produce smells worthy of a hazardous materials warning.
The Tiny Dictator
This baby may weigh less than a watermelon, but they run your household like a pint-sized dictator. You eat when they say. You sleep if they allow it. And donât you dare put them down after theyâve finally drifted offâyou will be punished.
But ThenâŚ
Just when you think you canât handle one more cry, one more late-night diaper blowout, one more foggy 4 a.m. feedingâthey smile.
And everything changes.
You forget how tired you are. You start talking in baby voices. You take 94 photos of the same expression and consider them all frame-worthy.
Because yes, itâs hard. But itâs also kind of amazing. Youâre meeting a whole new human, one adorable meltdown at a time.
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Final Thoughts
Welcoming a newborn is like being drafted into a beautiful, exhausting, slightly absurd clubâone where love comes in the form of spit-up, and success is measured in burps.
To all the new parents out there: hang in there. Youâre doing better than you think.
And someday, you will sleep again. Probably.
