27/08/2026
10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN VISITING A WOMAN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH. 🙏
I made a post about this yesterday, and judging from the reactions, I think we need to have the full meeting. 😂
So, here are 10 things you should NOT do when visiting a woman who recently gave birth.
1. DO NOT OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME.
Please, don't visit a new mom and turn the house into a podcast studio.
Greet her, congratulate her, give her what you came with and leave.
Most new mothers are barely sleeping at night because of breastfeeding and baby care. The little time they have during the day may be their only opportunity to rest.
And please, read the room.
If Mama has started giving you the “please, I need to sleep” look, take the hint. 😂
If you must stay longer, please offer to help her with one or two things. If you can't help, kindly go home. 😒
2. DO NOT ASK UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS.
“Did you give birth normally?”
“Was it CS?”
“Did you tear?”
“How many stitches?”
“How long were you in labour?”
Please… what are you going to do with this information? 😂
If she wants to tell you, she will tell you.
Don't turn a congratulatory visit into a medical interrogation. 🙏
3. DO NOT WAIT TO BE SERVED FOOD!
A new mother did not open a restaurant.
Please don't sit down waiting for her, her mother or her husband to start preparing food for you.
You came to visit, not to eat.
If they offer you food, appreciate it. But don't make feeding you part of the purpose of your visit.
4. DO NOT COME EMPTY-HANDED. ❤️
New parents have spent money.
And some of them have paid bills they didn't even know were waiting for them.
If you can, give them cash. Let them decide what they need.
If you prefer gifts, buy something useful for Mama or the baby.
But please, don't arrive with only “Congratulations!” in your mouth. 😂
5. DO NOT COMMENT ON WHO THE BABY LOOKS LIKE.
Especially if the baby doesn't look like the mother or father.
Please don't say:
“Hmm… this baby doesn't look like anybody here o.”
KEEP QUIET. 😂
You may unknowingly plant suspicion in a home that was perfectly peaceful before you arrived.
And remember, a newborn's appearance can change significantly as they grow.
So please, observe the baby and mind your business. ❤️
6. DO NOT COMPARE HER DELIVERY EXPERIENCE WITH YOURS.
Please don't tell a woman who had a difficult delivery:
“Me, I entered the hospital and gave birth almost immediately!”
Or:
“My own labour was just two hours.”
Please, what exactly is the assignment?
You can share your experience to encourage her, but don't make her feel weak, inadequate or responsible for the complications she experienced.
Be sensitive with your stories.
7. DO NOT KISS THE BABY.
Not on the lips.
Not on the cheek.
Nowhere!
Please admire the baby without putting your mouth on the baby.
Newborns are vulnerable to infections, and something as innocent as a kiss can potentially expose them to harmful germs.
Love the baby from a safe distance. ❤️
8. DO NOT CARRY THE BABY WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Don't just stretch your hands and say:
“Give me the baby.”
No!
Let the mother decide whether she wants you to carry the baby.
And if she allows you, wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water or use an appropriate hand sanitiser first.
Remember, this is a newborn who may still be receiving early vaccinations and is particularly vulnerable to infections.
You can admire the baby without touching.
9. CALL BEFORE YOU VISIT.
Please don't just appear at the door.
Call first.
Let the mother know you're coming and make sure the timing works for her.
And if she doesn't answer your call, please don't interpret silence as an invitation.
She may be sleeping.
She may be breastfeeding.
She may simply not be ready for visitors.
Try again later.
10. DO NOT COME WITH YOUR ENTIRE VILLAGE.
Please, don't visit a new mother with:
Your three children.
Your neighbour's child.
Your house help.
Your cousin.
Before she knows it, the whole compound is in her room.
Some new mothers need peace and quiet.
If you're visiting, come alone or with a small number of people, especially if the mother has not specifically invited a group.
Let her home remain her comfort zone. ❤️
AND FINALLY…
Visiting someone who just gave birth is supposed to be about celebrating, supporting and encouraging her.
So please, don't make the visit another thing she has to recover from. 🥺
Greet her. Celebrate her. Support her. Help her if you can. Then let Mama REST. ❤️
from Women's Doc.
