16/05/2020
TEENAGER'S DIARY
VOLUME ONE: MY HIDDEN PAIN
I was in the sitting room when my urge for more descended like a mighty wind.
I didn’t wanna do this anymore, but this feeling wants me the more…
Like nothing really make sense to me, except to quench this endangering thirst that’s springing from my belly.
I picked up my phone and launched in as actual but at the moment it all seems empty.
No, this can’t be happening I quickly have to connect my data and have this matter settled, it’s all that count now, everything else can wait.
Every part of me began to shiver as if I was hang on a tree with an invisible move from an unknown source.
It became more intense when it fails to connect
Without much hesitation I forge ahead with my usual alternative.
Scrutinizing my fingers via the pe**le hole beneath my little body
I felt a drastic kind of satisfaction that the word sweetness wouldn’t have been able to describe.
After all said and done I began to drain in my own pool of guilt, it was like a lyrics of had I know.
I burst into ceaseless tears, because among my brethren I am a leader ascribe by many with certainty but within my collop a slave to this longing.
Have I not fasted? Earnestly have I prayed but the thong in my flesh keep piercing deeper and bigger, making whole lots of hole on a body that was once acclaim to be sacred…
This worm had eaten me up to a point where I can’t console my pain but rub my guilt round my garment.
Much more than fear is the basis of shame denying me of a simile small privilege of confiding in another.
However the long forgotten was remembered, I can tell the redeemer is here
Saying, you are not what you are doing or seeing
You are what I says you are
You’re the righteousness of God
Can’t believe this, how can a ma*******or like myself be the righteousness of God
But I heard him more clearly and louder, you aren’t what you are doing but what I says you are.
I fling up my garment of guilt and shame, I proclaim it more loudly and clearer as it springs out of my Father’s mouth, I am the righteousness of God.
The urge and craving arose to its climax but my profession and confession stands sure.
Then, after a long while at the move of time I began to sense I have not been ma********ng, I became irritated by the flip of porns…
Could this be me?
Yea, grace made the difference
And it is available today
The grace to live above addiction is knitted in Christ
Accept His grace and drop you works.
©Voicequo
