Up Yours and Personal

Up Yours and Personal ig:

feed posts feel like being held at gun point so im actually being super brave rn
03/08/2026

feed posts feel like being held at gun point so im actually being super brave rn

day of birth ig!! hmu for tips on surviving your saturn return 🫪
22/07/2026

day of birth ig!! hmu for tips on surviving your saturn return 🫪

day of birth 🫪 hmu for tips on surviving your saturn return
22/07/2026

day of birth 🫪 hmu for tips on surviving your saturn return

lagos on film // by Isabella
14/07/2026

lagos on film // by Isabella

tragically this place is all it’s cracked up to be :/
14/06/2026

tragically this place is all it’s cracked up to be :/

mirrors and fabrics and such
01/06/2026

mirrors and fabrics and such

exactly one year ago i watched my baby (my first yoga and surf retreat) make its way out of the manic notes in my google...
29/05/2026

exactly one year ago i watched my baby (my first yoga and surf retreat) make its way out of the manic notes in my google drive and into the real, PHYSICAL WORLD 😭

it was also at this time that i had started a new job, moved to a new city, and bore witness to my chronic illness symptoms making themselves increasingly apparent (rather, impossible to ignore).

at the time i was embarrassed to say this (bc i thought it would make my retreat attendees see me as a weak, ill-equipped leader), but during the weeks leading up to the retreat, i cried almost every single day.

my joints ached, my focus and memory eluded me, my menstrual pain became increasingly unbearable. there were days i truly didn’t know where i was or how i had gotten there.

“out of body” is the best way to describe it — and not in the fun, mushroom-induced way.

i would say that i didn’t know, but the truth is that i did not WANT to know that there was something very wrong.

i ignored it bc wanted to make this goal a reality. for better or for worse, i am someone who does what i say im going to do.

so reflecting on the retreat 12 months later, i can’t say with a full chest that it was smart for me to push through my body’s very real, very desperate attempt at a cry for help.

if it were anyone else coming to me for advice about experiencing this very thing, trust and believe i would point out the very obvious message that person’s body was trying to send; which was, of course, to slow down.

but on that first night in nicaragua, when i saw these 14 radiant, bursting-with-life young women walk in a group towards the sea, talking and laughing and connecting with strangers that already felt like family, it was like my soul exhaled.

long, weightless, and quiet.

i was meant to be here. i was meant to do this. and what a gift it was that i could.

thank you eternally to the 14 special angel cinnamon fairy buttercups that made this meticulous but delicious undertaking the most rewarding one yet.

i love you.

round two this fall/winter?? lmk 🫦

winter is a toddler in a toilet
15/05/2026

winter is a toddler in a toilet

winter is a toddler in the toilet
15/05/2026

winter is a toddler in the toilet

do yall care about by dogs? feel free to comment below but know that your answer won’t change anything
15/04/2026

do yall care about by dogs? feel free to comment below but know that your answer won’t change anything

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