22/08/2026
HOW TO ATTRACT CROWDS IN A CAMEROONIAN CHURCH.
Nothing excites the average Christian in Cameroon and Africa like the message of prosperity.
Just make them believe that if they join your commission, their breakthrough will come. Make sure your message is about prosperity. While preaching, ensure you put datelines to make your message believable.
Always put your calling on the line, “EXCEPT I AM NOT CALLED BY GOD, YOU WILL PROSPER BEFORE THE END OF THIS MONTH!”
Tell them, “This week is your week!”
And when quoting the Bible, stick to the KJV. Remember, the purpose is not knowledge. Your goal is to keep them excited and to keep their hope alive.
Ensure you are sweating profusely. Then struggle dramatically to remove your suit. One of the protocol officers should immediately rush forward to help you remove it.
Then declare: “Listen to me! Every child of God must prosper! It is your heritage to prosper!”
Then say: “Give me 3 John 1:2.”
Remember, it must be KJV, because the NLT might reveal the actual meaning of the verse, and remember, your goal is to keep them excited, not to teach them.
By now, the scripture is projected on the screen, so tell one of the elders to read it for you.
He starts:
“I wish above all things…”
Immediately tell him:
“Hold on! Hold on! Take it again!”
When he gets to “I wish,” interrupt him again:
“Hold it! I want to explain something deeper here.”
Then ask the congregation:
“Do you know what it takes for God to wish?”
You are now entering the deep revelation.
Tell them:
“Do you know that in the entire Bible, there is nowhere God says He wishes, apart from prosperity?”
They are confused. They don't know whether it is true or not.
Don't give them time to think.
Tell the reader:
“Continue!”
He reads:
«“I wish above all…”»
Immediately:
“Hold on again!”
Then tell them:
“Listen! I am not the one saying this. The Bible is saying it. The Bible says, ‘ABOVE ALL!’”
Now explain:
“That means the highest form of worship to God is that, as His child, you should prosper!”
The congregation erupts.
“AMEN!”
“HALLELUJAH!”
People are shouting, screaming and waving their handkerchiefs.
Calm them down.
“Calm down! Calm down! We are running out of time.”
Then tell them:
“Come back next Sunday prepared, because in this commission, everybody MUST prosper! It is not optional!”
Then ask everyone to lift their hands.
Tell them:
“I want to prophetically catapult somebody into their destiny!”
Then say “The louder your AMEN, the faster your miracle!”
Now begin the declarations:
“This week, you will prosper!”
“Where others struggle, you will not struggle!”
“Money you did not work for will enter your account this week!”
Then scream:
“IF YOU BELIEVE IT, SHOUT AMEN LIKE THUNDER!!!”
And the church erupts.
Ladies and gentlemen, that is how you turn 3 John 1:2 into a prosperity prophecy, a motivational speech, and a weekly miracle subscription.
The tragedy is that this is not entirely fiction.
Somewhere in Africa, somebody is preaching this right now, and people are shouting AMEN, and after the service someone will say "this prophet is loaded" I can't wait to come back next Sunday.
