Janssen's ASD Journey

24/08/2025

Strength Borrowed

I'm on the verge of giving up!
My body can feel it!
I'm too exhausted.
My eyes are blurred.

The excruciating pain in my arms, hands runs to my chest and back.
Headaches, dizziness, my head is spinning!
My glucose level spiked, uncontrolled.

Like a candle, my light had been extinguished.
A flower wilted, each bloom carried by a strong wind.

No, I must fight for my life!
My family needs me!
Please give me more strength Lord!

My son tried to wake me up!
He can't eat without me!
We taught him that a family eats together.
Cellphone is not allowed to avoid disturbance.
Janssen will lead the prayer.

Pulling his small arms to stand me.
But I can't!
I melted like a chocolate bar in the heat of the sun.
I slept, bringing me to the unknown world.
I woke up in the middle of the night!

My chest pain is getting worse.
My husband who can hardly breathe
prepared a hot compress,
to soothe the fire in my chest.

A sick man taking care of his sick wife.
I embraced my husband and kissed him with so much love.
I love you so much, Dad!
How I wish that hug could heal our body and mind.

Yes, I call him Dad! Janssen has autism and had echolalia.
He called his dad “Hon” because he heard it from me.
We laughed incessantly, with his innocence,
but we prayed that God will listen to our fervent prayer.

Janssen indeed, works miracle for us!
I came to this end before—
almost giving up!
But Janssen whispered to me: "Why are you crying mommy?
" I'm happy son!
Confused but he hugged me tightly.
“Mom I love you so much!

In my dreamy world,
where I'm at ease,
I heard my son's voice again like a tape recorder.

“I can't live without you mommy!”
His favorite lines,
“Annalyn G. Mercado, the most beautiful woman in the world!
The most beautiful face!
I love you mommy! I love you mommy!"

I will be the worst mother if I give up!
Thank you, son, for lending me your strength.

©®All rights reserved.
Annalyn G. Mercado
Philippines
Image-Ctto Pinterest
August 24,2025

24/08/2025

His first dance, her first cousin on her 7th birthday.

22/07/2025

When Summer Waits No More

The summer heat was gone.
He had asked to swim, again and again.
We planned—oh, we planned—
But life has its own script.
All our hopes? They never happened.

Janssen’s face became a mirror of worry—
His birthday, our wedding anniversary,
Even the zenith of summer heat—
All passed us by, untouched.

Then came the storm.
Rain, fierce and unrelenting.
And yet, *this* was when it happened—
After my fiftieth birthday,
At last, it was meant to be.

Their faces beamed with joy!
They plunged like mermaids,
Laughter echoing with delight,
Screaming at the height of their glee.

No cake, no candles.
Just a humble menu,
And the wide embrace of the pool.

More guests arrived—
But the swimming madness roared on!

Oh, if only I could paint it—
With oil and pastel,
On a canvas of treasured memories.

Their feet, their fingers—
Wrinkled by the cold.
Still, they stayed submerged,
Embraced by blue waters
And the cascading rain.

Soaking in the blessings
That God has so tenderly
Poured down.

©®All Rights Reserved.
Annalyn G. Mercado
Philippines
July 22, 2025

22/06/2025

07/06/2025

My Son’s Unique World

(A mother’s tribute to her autistic son)

His smile beamed with delight
When he caught a glimpse of me.
But it quickly faded—
A grin turned to a frown.
I knew I had let him down.
“Why are you late, Mommy?”

He speaks like an old man
Trapped inside a little boy’s frame.

*Bobbies! Bobbies!*
“What do bobbies mean, baby?”
He would only smile—
He has his own language.

*Big stomach! Big stomach!*
Repeating, again and again
Like a tape recorder.
*Beautiful Mommy! Beautiful Mommy!*
Again, again...

I asked,
“Why did you keep on telling me that I am beautiful, dear?"
" Because you have beautiful face and smooth skin", Janssen answered, with a cute smile.
Most of the time he rubs his face on my knees.
Quite a bizarre act, but I understand.

That’s my son—
Ten years old now.
So sweet.
So gentle.
So wonderfully unique.

One day, his teacher asked,
“Ma’am, please talk to Janssen...
Did he really kiss his classmate?”

I asked him," Is it true that you kissed your classmate?"
“Why did you kiss her, anak?”
“She’s pretty, Mommy!”
“But you can’t just kiss someone.”
“Is it wrong, Mommy?”
Such innocence.
I had to explain the world clearly.

He lined up his toys.
Perfectly.
“Don’t touch!”
Disturb them—and the lion roars.

*Virgo, Virgo! Pisces, Pisces!*
Patterns, symbols, signs.
And then the whispers come:
“Have you noticed anything?”
“Does he have behavioral problems?”

Yes.
He has *Autism Spectrum Disorder.*
*Speech delay and Seizure Disorder.*
Diagnosed by experts.

*Farting, farting!*
Words on repeat.
His joy—so pure.
Hands flapping,
Sounds mimicked,
Cars, songs, rhythms—
A world his own.

He can read.
He can sing.
He can dance
With drums he made himself.
He follows online drawings,
He interchanges pronouns.

“Mommy, where is the front of my shirt?”
“Mommy, how do I fix these buttons?”
“Please help me!”

“No, anak... you can do it.
You need to be independent.
You’re a big boy now.”

Every day—
Simple tasks.
Small lessons.
Endless patience.

He dreams of being an engineer.
He builds bridges with blocks.
“Mommy, I want to go to Japan!”
“Why, anak?”
“To buy Tomica cars!”

“You can find them at the mall.”
“But the designs I like—
They’re made in Japan!”
I giggled softly.
He’s already planning:
“Mommy, I’ll build a boat,
So the shark won’t eat me!”
I burst out laughing.

“Mommy, I love you so much.”
I pretended not to hear—
Just to feel his warm embrace.
Then, gently he said,
“Mommy, don’t break my heart.”

“Baby, I’m your Mommy.
I will never break your heart.”
And laughter filled the house.

But he is often sick.
Asthma.
Bronchitis.
Pneumonia.
Severe skin allergies.
Dengue.
Epilepsy.
Foot and Mouth Disease.

His skin—scarred by rashes.
Itching through the night.
Medications help—
But the itchiness returns.
Seeing it for months that even dermatologist failed to cure.

School performance drops.
But that doesn't matter.
I only want him healed.
Take my strength, Lord—
Give it to my son.

“Mom, when can I eat chocolate?”
“When can I eat eggs and chicken?”
And he pretends—
“Hmmm! Yummy!”
Savoring flavor
In the world of imagination
Where nothing is forbidden.

Thanks to immunotherapy!
He suffered for six months, but immunotherapy works for him in two days!
A miracle indeed!

I wonder about his future.
What if one day
God calls me to His Kingdom?
Who will protect him
From bullying,
From laughter,
From judgment?

Who will remind the world
That *he belongs*?

Only God knows His plans.
But I trust them.
Because I know—
God loves him.

And I pray:
*May all children like him
Be protected.
Be embraced.
Be respected.*

Let’s build a world
Where every child—
Every spectrum,
Every sound,
Every smile
Every stimming—
Is understood.

And loved.

Let’s support them
In our own little way.

©All rights reserved.
Annalyn G. Mercado
Philippines
Revised:
June 7, 2025
Designed in Canva

07/06/2025

I can feel that someday my son will also stand before the crowd and tell the intricacies of autism and share his colorful experiences for autism awareness.

07/06/2025

16/12/2023

02/12/2023

11/06/2023

Title! My Child's Unique World
Country: Philippines
Date:June 10, 2023

His smile mirrored delight
When he glimpsed of me
His grin changed to frown
I felt that I let him down
Why are you late mommy?
He is like an old man
Trapped in child's body

Bobbies, Bobbies!
What do bobbies mean, baby?
He will just smile sweetly
Created his own words
Big stomach, big stomach
He kept on repeating words
Like a tape recorder
Mommies! Mommies!
He repeated again!
And then I question him
"Do you want me,
to give you to other mom?
I'm your only mom! Nobody else!
He replied! No mommy!
I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry mommy!

That's my eight year old son!
So sweet and gentle
So cute and adorable
One time his teacher told me
That he kissed his classmate!
Why did you do it?
She is pretty mommy!
But you can't kiss a kid!
Is it wrong mommy?
An innocent question
Only mommy and daddy can kiss you!
Why mommy? So I explain clearly!

He lined up his toys
Don't touch!
Don't ruin his creation
Or you will see a wailing lion
Virgo, Virgo!
Pisces, Pisces!
Did you notice something?

Yes, he had an Autism!
Diagnosed by experts
History of pregnancy
Been scrutinized through interviews
Expensive therapy sessions
Behavioral therapy
Speech Therapy
Applied Behavioral therapy
Adjuvant therapy
I wonder if there are therapy
For depleting resources???
Or my mental capacity to take all
The daily challenges for the rest of our lives!

Farting, farting!
Repeating each word
All over again
His laugh is contagious
He flapped his hands when he is happy
He mimic the sounds of cars or songs

He can read and write
He can sing and dance
Make a sound with improvised drums
He can follow the drawings online
He can interchange his pronouns
Mommy where is the front part of my shirt?
Mommy please help me!
No son! You can do it
You need to be independent!
You are a big boy now!
Everyday it was a scenario!
Very simple tasks
Yet he asked for assistance!
Teach him to do on his own

He wanted to be an engineer
He loves numbers
He can create bridges and toys
Mommy I want to go to Japan!
Why do you want to go Japan, my son?
Coz, I wanted to buy Tomica!
You can buy it in the Mall
No design here that I like
It's manufactured in Japan!
But it's surrounded by water
You need visa and plane tickets
Shown the map for him to understand
Mommy I will make a vessel
Why baby?
So the shark won't eat me!
Mommy I want to go to Japan
Day after day repeatedly
He would stress what he wants

Mommy I love you so much!
And I pretended not to hear
So I can feel the warmth of his embrace
Instead, he told me!
Mommy don't break my heart!
Shock in disbelief!
Baby, I'm your mommy!
I will never break your heart
My laughter echoed in the house

But then, he was always sick
Asthma, bronchitis, allergies
Pneumonia, dengue, epilepsy
His skin had darkened with scars
Medicines heal for a while
It came back and spread

Foods are prohibited
One day he said,
Mom when can I eat chocolate?
When can I eat eggs and chicken?
Then, he reenacted!
Hmmm! Yummy! Mommy it's crunchy!
Savoring the crunchiness of chicken
In his imagination, in his world
He can eat anything!

And I wonder what will be his future?
What if God will take me in His Kingdom
Who can protect my son?
From bullying, from maltreatment?
From laughter? Stepping on his rights?
Or say you don't belong here!
It's only God who can answer!
What are his plans for him
It's no doubt, God loves him
And may all children like him
All their rights be protected

©®Annalyn Gonzales Mercado

16/04/2023

You can look, touch but never buy Tomica toys! I conditioned his mind before going to the mall. Janssen used to have wild tantrums. He would hurt himself, crying aloud and spit on the floor. After undergoing occupational therapy for a year, then his speech therapy. These therapy sessions drained our resources. We started Applied Behavioral Analysis in which until now we retained. Thank God, our ABA Family supported us during pandemic and continue to hone his skills with the objective of competing him in the future. Finally the Immune System Modulators, which the progress are quite evident now. He sets good example to kids who had difficult behavioral problems and compliant in school and therapy sessions! Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you!


'sASDJourney

07/04/2023

Another conversation with Janssen that made my laugh reverberated our whole house!

Janssen: Mommy I wanted to go to Japan.
Mommy! What? Why?
Janssen: Because I want to buy Tomica!
Mommy: Can't you just buy it in SM?
Janssen: There's no Tomica like that in SM? Let's go mommy! Let's go to Japan!
Mommy: Janssen, Japan is another country!
It's not as near as Calamba!

He kept on repeating this everyday.
His lists of Tomica toys that he wanted to have.
The brand name and the number. All details are clearly written in a bond paper..

And so I showed him the Google map for him to understand how far Japan is!

Mommy: So you see, there are many countries to pass by before you can go to Japan.
And we are surrounded by a Pacific Ocean.

Next morning:

Janssen: Mommy I want to make a vessel!
Mommy: Why!
Janssen: So when I go to Japan, the shark won't eat me! I can buy the Tomica!

Oh no! More explanation mommy!

'sAutismJourney


# laughteristhebestmedicine