Random Sh!t Aotearoa

03/09/2026

Filters will make you think that girl is
way out of your league until you meet her
man to man

01/09/2026

Be the person that lights up someone's life.
Whether you use your sparkling personality or a flamethrower is entirely up
to you 👍😂

31/08/2026

A 10 year old girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?”
The mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a
wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day.
After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned
into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that
we f*cked without a c0ndom."

27/08/2026

26/08/2026

Me: "That hemorrhoid cream really caused a bad reaction."
Doctor: "Where did
you apply it?"
Me: "On the bus."

25/08/2026

It's important to get out of the house every once in a while to remind
yourself why you don't go out 👍😂