Grow & Flourish with Lynda B

14/09/2026

If there was just one message I could share to others that I think would make the biggest difference to their lives it would be how to practise compassionate curiosity.

Replacing judgement with curiosity has impacted my own life hugely. And although I had developed compassion for others, while I remained in judgement of myself I was constantly triggered. From that state it was difficult for me to stay connected.

My mind was full of thoughts like “not good enough”, “too much”, “they are just tolerating me or being polite, they don’t actually like me”. I was hesitant to reach out, worried I would be annoying them if I did. My self judgement stood in the way of me experiencing the deep connection that I craved and I thought I was the problem.

As I learned to soften the gaze on myself, to allow the compassion I had practised towards others to spill into myself, how I showed up changed.

I began acknowledging compliments with a “thank you” and over time started to actually believe the validity of the words.

My tone toward myself changed as I noticed when I was talking to myself in a way I wouldn’t to others.

I found that the frequency and intensity of being emotionally triggered reduced and I became curious about what was underneath the surface instead of pretending I was fine.

So my question for today is…what might change for you if you began practising being gentler with yourself today?

13/09/2026

Most of us are pretty familiar with self judgement.

And like any “strategy” it has served a purpose.

Self judgement is a strategy that I am intimately familiar with. Actually I became so good at it, (through consistent practise), that it became quite automated.

It protected me from being blind-sided by someone else’s judgement and gave me data about where I could improve.

And, it fed my shame, eroded my confidence and my energy and kept me focused on what I wasn’t doing well.

For the last 5 years I have been practising compassionate curiosity as an upgrade. Yes, self judgement does still show up from time to time, and when it does I can meet it in a different way, checking in with any thoughts and emotions that show up alongside it.

There is a softness now that allows any judgement of myself to transform into curiosity, allowing creative solutions or acceptance to show up instead of shame and disappointment. And from this place I feel more motivated and alive.

Self judgement did serve me well, it did constantly remind me that I could be more, improve and ensure that I didn’t become stagnant. Self judgement kept me interested in self improvement, which lead me to my coaching work that I love. Compassionate Curiosity became that upgrade that served me in a way that felt more like inspiration and motivation, without the side effects of shame and despair.

So I’m curious…what do you use self judgement for?

Photo credit: Joanne McCloy Photography

07/09/2026

I’ve done something a little bit scary… and a little bit exciting.

I’ve started a new little series called A Cup of Tea with Lynda B on YouTube.

It’s really just what it sounds like…me, a cup of tea, and a thought or story that’s been on my mind.

In this first one, I’m talking about something I’ve been reflecting on lately…

Before I met my husband, I had absolutely no idea what my life could be.

I couldn’t have imagined the life that was waiting for me and it got me thinking about how often we make assumptions about what our future can look like, simply because we can’t yet see beyond where we are.

So, if you have a few minutes, make yourself a cup of tea and come and sit with me. ☕️

I’d love to know what it brings up for you.

Welcome to the very first A Cup of Tea with Lynda B.Before I met ...

02/09/2026

02/09/2026

A thought I wrote down this morning:

“I don’t need to judge myself into becoming different.
I can understand myself into making different choices.”

There’s something about this that I think is worth remembering.

Perhaps change doesn’t always begin with What’s wrong with me?

Perhaps it can begin with What can I understand about myself here?

What might change if you met yourself with a little more curiosity and a little less judgement?

30/08/2026

“When I stop fighting reality…”

I’ve been thinking about how much energy can go into wishing things were different.

Wishing I had made a different choice.
Wishing someone else would behave differently.
Wishing my circumstances were easier.
Wishing I was further along than I am.

And I’m noticing that when I spend too much time there, I miss the life that is actually happening.

There is something surprisingly freeing about saying:
“This is where I am right now.”

Not because I want to stay here.

Not because I think everything is okay.

Because meeting myself where I am makes room for the next step.

When I stop using my energy to resist what I cannot change, I have more energy available to notice what I can do.

I can listen to myself.

I can tend to what needs tending.

I can make a different choice.

I can ask for what I need.

I can rest.

I can appreciate what is already good.

I can allow something new to emerge.

Perhaps surrender isn’t about letting go of our desire for things to be different.

Perhaps it’s about making peace with where we begin.

And maybe that’s where growth becomes less about pushing ourselves forward and more about gently creating the conditions in which we can flourish.

I’m finding that a much more nourishing way forward.

Where in your life might you benefit from spending a little less energy wishing things were different, and a little more energy gently tending to what is here?

10/08/2026

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

What if we could hold ourselves accountable without using shame as our motivation?

Not letting ourselves off the hook.

Not making excuses.

Just creating enough space to get curious about what happened, learn from it, and choose how we want to respond next time.

I’d love to know what you think about this one.

09/08/2026

“But if I stop judging myself, how will I improve?”

I understand the question.

Because sometimes our inner critic has been working very hard to keep us on track.

It tells us:

“You shouldn’t have done that!”

“You need to try harder!”

“You should know better!”

And perhaps, somewhere along the way, we learned to believe that being hard on ourselves is what makes us better humans.

But here’s what I’m wondering:

What if shame isn’t actually necessary for accountability?

Instead of:

“I’m such an idiot. Why do I always do this?”

What about:

“That didn’t go the way I wanted. I wonder what happened? What can I learn? What could I do differently next time?”

The second response isn’t an excuse.

It’s still accountable.

But it gives us something useful to work with.

Information instead of shame.

And perhaps that’s a much more nourishing way to grow.

I’m curious…do you think self-criticism motivates you or drains you?

03/08/2026

For so long we’ve been taught that strength means pushing through, staying unshaken, and carrying it all.

But what if true strength is less about holding everything together… and more about being willing to understand ourselves?

What if courage looks like honesty?
What if growth begins with curiosity?
What if vulnerability is not weakness, but the doorway to deeper connection?

This is the work I love exploring with people, creating space to understand ourselves more deeply, so we can show up with greater clarity, compassion, and connection.

There is no right or wrong. It’s about practising compassionate curiosity.

What is your perspective on strength?

20/07/2026

Not “how can I get them to agree with me?” Or “how can I get them to change?”

Simply… “what is my intention”

That one simple question brings me back to clarity.

Adding a dash of compassion for myself and the other person, a dollop of discernment about the timing of the conversation and the courage to show up and speak honestly (once I have set up our safety), I have the recipe for an honest conversation with heart.

I’m curious, how do you set yourself up for successful conversations?