Traceylee Hooton Simplicity Parenting

30/03/2025

I had the privilege of sharing with a group of parents this afternoon. The room was full and to my delight, we had four dads join us which was such a gift as we were talking about how we meet the needs of our boys. Two strategies I shared.

Firstly, as mama's we generally talk way too much with our boys (sons and partners!) who take a lot longer to process what we say than our daughters do. So, way less talking and leave room for a response - WAIT (Why Am I Talking). Counting to seven before repeating an instruction or asking a question is helpful. Our boys typically hear us the first time we say something, they need more time to consider a reply or to step into action.

I also shared a strategy for working through things when our kids do big stuff, the stuff that really pushes our buttons, or do and say things that we see as being outside of what our family values. It comes from the wise words of Kim John Payne and his book The Soul of Discipline. Here's a link to the handout I shared this afternoon. Connect with me if you want to chat through it, or if you live locally and would like to join another parenting afternoon, let me know.

24/03/2025

Recently I connected with a beautiful Speech and Language Therapist who works with kindergarten aged children. She urged me to tell (not just encourage) parents to stop the screen time damage, children are dysregulated and it’s affecting their ability to communicate in ways that builds connection with the world around them. Here’s a great explanation why the cartoons today are so damaging. Please, be brave for the sake of your child’s social and mental health, turn off the screens.

19/03/2025

For parents and whānau who I've recently shared space and time with at Taupo Parents Centre classes (and anyone else curious about retained primitive reflexes), here are some links to academic research. Gratitude to the Neurochild Community for sharing.

Primitive reflex retention can be a hidden cause of developmental issues, both physically and emotionally. These reflexes, which are present at birth to help infants survive, typically integrate into the nervous system as a child grows. However, when they persist beyond the expected age, they can interfere with the child’s development.

Physically, retained primitive reflexes can affect motor skills, coordination, and posture. This can lead to difficulties in activities such as writing, sports, or even simple tasks like tying shoelaces. Children may also experience clumsiness or delays in reaching developmental milestones.

Emotionally, these retained reflexes can impact a child’s behaviour and learning abilities. Issues such as anxiety, hyperactivity, and difficulty focusing in school can arise. Recognising and addressing these retained reflexes can be crucial in supporting a child’s overall growth and helping them reach their true full potential.

💥 Brought to you by Neuro’s Chief of Operations, Dr. Pamela Stoodley https://pamelastoodley.nz/

References and further reading:
https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/20/3/2322

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10361412/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11379514/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5778413/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29379547/

19/03/2025

I'm curious about the impact that Netflix's current #1 show, Adolescence is having on parents. 24 million people have watched the show that was released only 7 days ago. It's incredible watching, for parents and teens - not young children, it has a MA rating. Did you know what 'incel' was before watching? Did you google that after hearing it on the show? I've popped a link in comments below if you've yet to gain an understanding on what incel is (take a big breath, it's hard reading). My greatest curiosity is more local. Here in Aotearoa New Zealand, the government has removed Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) guidelines in order to make them more age appropriate (I'll pop a link to an article explaining the in's and out's of this in comments below). For those parents and whānau who have watched Adolescence, do you feel like you have the tools to support your children, tweens, and teens with RSE? What about our kids friends and peers who are marginalised? Are you rethinking how you support your children with RSE after watching Adolescence?

Search for answers in the new four-part limited series starring Stephen Graham now.

24/02/2025

It is always a privilege to spend time with māmā who have recently welcomed new pēpi into their whānau. Enlivening discussion about the environment and toys we bring into our homes (or are lovingly gifted 😝) gives us a moment to pause and think about what brings about child-centred development that helps to develop connection, with themselves and the world around them. Here's a link to my presentation for those māmā who were with me at Taupo Parents Centre this week.

17/12/2024

Here’s a bittersweet moment. Master 16 years driving off for the first time after passing his restricted drivers test 🫣. A wise person once said you have until your kid meets you at eye-level height to install solid boundaries linked to whānau values, and so we worked hard on that. Now the teenager is waaaaay taller than me, boundaries are still there but so is a ridiculous level of trust that comes with freedom. When trust is questioned, the freedom gets limited until it’s rebuilt. The journey of parenting is quite something huh!

09/11/2024

Guess when authentic turn taking becomes a possibility? It’s generally not during the early years but once the neural development reaches a place where children begin to understand reciprocity. My turn, your turn. Four year olds start to understand and master this concept. And if a child hasn’t had any experience of this at home, it’s much harder for them once they enter into a group play environment (like kindergarten and ECE). Waiting is hard, patience is a learnt skill that needs to be practiced over time, and alongside a person who has mastered their own patience 🫣 (It’s much harder if you are tired or sleep deprived). Imitation is key; show our children how to wait and take turns.

31/10/2024

I've just spent two hours with a group of beautiful mumma's as part of the Baby and You course run by Taupo Parents Centre. As always, my heart was warmed by the sharing, vulnerability and the honouring of the sanctity that forms part of being a mother. I always bring the session to a close with this verse by Leunig and promised the group that I'd share it here on my page.

21/08/2023

I feel so privileged that I get to spend a couple of hours every month or so with a group of mamma's (and sometimes grans, and dad's) at the Taupo Parents Centre Moving and Munching Course. Today there was a beautiful gathering of adoring mumma's, and we talked about building self-esteem and connection for our tamariki. Here's the link to the 'Say What You See' book. I hope you find tools and wisdom to help connect with your dear wee ones.

We are parent and personal growth coaches, not medical or mental health professionals. This website and the content provided herein are for adult use, meant to be thought provoking, and are not intended or implied to be a substitute for advice, diagnosis, guidance, or treatment by a licensed medical...

25/06/2023

I first learnt about the marvellous work of Harriet Lerner through the work of Brene Brown on a podcast. It stopped me in my tracks. I'd never been taught how to apologise beyond saying, "I'm sorry" It's such an important communication tool to model for our children. I recommend searching out more of Harriet's work if you're keen to bring this gift to your family.

24/06/2023

The D.A.D.D (Decsribe, Affirm, Discover, Do-Over) method of supporting our dear children as they make choices that lead to outcomes that aren't serving anyone for good is a beautiful way to stay in connection and turn it into a learning process for everyone involved. It also describes why we support introverts a little differently from extroverts. Let me know how this goes for you.

24/06/2023

It’s always such a privilege to share with and guide parents on their journey. This morning I was blessed with the opportunity to spend time with the Titirangi Steiner community. We closed our time together with a guided meditation to imagine our children in different ways when they’re full of big feelings and overwhelm. PM me if you’d like the link to a recording of this meditation ❤️