31/10/2025
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗮
I was killed by my own faith. Not because I committed any sin, but because I was blinded and burned by the fire of 𝗹𝘂𝘀𝘁 wrapped in holiness.
I am Matilda, devout, pure, and obedient–raised to fear God and regarded as the light among others. I belonged to a religious community I once called home. And in that home, our “Father” served as the voice of God. “Father” taught us that obedience was the highest virtue, that every command must be followed and never questioned.
I was six years old when my parents entrusted me to him, hoping I would receive protection and blessings. Every night, we were ordered, along with other children, to go to “Father’s” room to receive blessings from God. With every caress, kiss, and firm touch, we were made to believe it was sacred and never to be refused.
When it was already my turn, my body would always tremble in fear. I endured it because he said it was the will of God, and whoever resisted would be punished and have no place in heaven.
But as time passed, it was as if my eyes, long forced to stay blind, slowly began to open. Little by little, I was enlightened by the truth. The “blessings” that “Father” spoke of were never from God—they were nothing but acts of depravity. My sisters in faith were treated as toys, used only for his personal pleasure. The “donations” from the members of the community, which were said to be for church projects, were spent for selfish desires. These truths felt like a rope tightening around my neck. I wanted to escape. But with that desire came the fears and constant threats that I would be cursed by God if I ever left our community.
Months passed, and the thoughts never left my mind. I could no longer endure the repeated lust and deception. I was not powerful, and I knew I had no strength to fight back. But the rage I felt gave me the courage to resist.
One night, carrying photographs and evidence that would expose the abuse, I decided to go to the authorities. I had already planned my escape, but before I could get far from the chapel, I saw familiar faces. I approached them, believing we were fighting for the same cause. Yet with my hopeful greeting came the sudden flow of red liquid from my side. It burned and throbbed with pain, as metal pierced the flesh, but what hurt more was the betrayal of those I once called my brothers in the “home” I had known. And just like that, with my final breath came the vanishing of the justice I never received.
Now, when night falls, no one dares to pass by the old chapel. Anyone who does hears the haunting sobs of a woman, followed by their own cries for mercy, until they lose their sanity. Every day, candles are offered for me–candles with flames that never live long enough to illuminate. They say it is because I am still filled with anger, not because I was denied justice, but because the abuse never ceased. Young girls continue to be offered “in the name of God,” and those who try to escape are silenced and threatened.
I do not need thousands of candles—I need justice and an end to greed. I do not long for forgiveness, but for the awakening of those who still sleep in blind faith. My death was not only because of lust, but because of the corruption that festers within deceitful religion.
So when you hear the cry from the old chapel, know that it is not a ghost. It is the voice of women devoured by lies, pleading for the living to find the courage to end the hell created by the falsely holy.
[D]
by Vanessa
graphics by Ivan Cruz