30/07/2025
I’m sorry, anak… your father is a seafarer. 🥹 Every day that I’m away from you, I carry a heavy heart. I’ve missed so many of your special moments-birthdays, school recognitions, your laughter, even your quiet tears. I’ve missed hearing your stories after school, helping you with homework, and simply being beside you when you needed a hug or someone to talk to. That’s the hardest part of this life at sea-not the storms, not the long hours, not the physical work- but the moments I can never get back with you.
Sometimes I look at your pictures over and over just to feel close to you. I replay your voice in my mind because it gives me strength to get through the day. It’s not easy being far. The silence in my cabin at night echoes the pain of not being home. I wish I could be there to protect you, guide you, and see you grow every single day. But anak, please know that everything I do, every sacrifice I make, is for you.
I chose this path not to leave you behind, but to build a better life for you. So you don’t have to struggle the way I did. So you can chase your dreams without limits. So you’ll never have to apologize to your own child for not being there.
Even when I’m far across oceans, you are never far from my thoughts, my prayers, and my heart.
I pray for the day I no longer have to miss you like this. Until then, please hold on to my love, even from afar. And forgive me for all the days I couldn’t be there. From the bottom of my heart… "sorry, anak, because your father is a seafarer"