21/10/2025
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๐๐ข๐ญ๐๐ซ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐จ. 19 | ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ซ, ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐
The pictures have torn apart, the medals now rusted, the leaves have witheredโtime has flown like a
thunderstrike, it's been so long, oh dear, old me. Am I grieving for you? Maybe, maybe not; there have been too many things that changed; too many things have run away.
And this feeling, this disorienting feeling... when I try to look back, it feels like I am lost, gone from the
road I thought I was venturing into. So far from what I thought I would beโtoo far. But isn't that nice, oh
dear, old me? You've grown up, past beyond what you thought you were and just, past beyond the things
you thought would always stay constant.
Existing truly is like a tangled yarn; it runs wild, unorganized, and maybe sometimes... free. No matter how much I try to look back, I can't get my way around. Where is my way back? Where have I gone to? I am in a constantly moving maze that feels like an unresolvable riddle.
I'll always grieve for what I was, for that's the only thing that I could do, and maybe that's just how things
are supposed to be: to not stay immovable, to drift away through when the wind demands you to, to be untethered to your past, and to just be something elseโsomething more.
I miss you, oh dear, old me, but I have to go on, for each thread of my being has been stitched anew,
redefined and fresh. There are a lot of things unraveling before my eyes, and the only thing I could do is to look back for just a few fleeting moments.
Going back would, in fact, make me feel safe, but going back would make me feel missing.
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